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Strange and uncomfortable thoughts

I have really strong paranoia in that I am always fearful that someone is going to brutally murder me at any given moment and it has recently been so bad that I have to sleep with my back to the wall and keep opening my eyes every so often.

Who knows at this point lol

I survived attempted murder just about ten years ago, and since then I've gotten afraid that my then-girlfriend was going to murder me when I visited her, and then a more recent ex-partner I had recurring fears they would kill me, once when we started dating, and then more frequently after they harangued me for having a meltdown and when they dumped me a couple months later, especially while I was getting my stuff. Now I have my things and no longer have that hanging over me, I am a lot less stressed out.
 

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