Met my friend for breakfast this morning. I actually had an appetite, unlike last time we met. He was vaping in the beer garden. It's 6 celsius today, but wind chill and rain had it feeling around 2. I saw a group of guys and recognised one of their faces. I knew straight away he'd be at the music event.
We went inside and ordered breakfast. The pub wasn't too full for a Saturday late morning, but being a Wetherspoons, the pubs are huge, so capacity is much larger than most. I brought some cigars, but the weather was foul and truth be told the occasion didn't really merit, but I gave one to my friend to have. I haven't smoked a cigar in over 6 months, but I didn't want to waste one and have it just for the sake of it. My friend had to go to his dad's surprise bday party, so the meetup was cut short. We left at 12.
I went to the town hall straight after, I was greeted by the man in the group from the beer garden. He had to do a double take - but he recognised who I was and took me upstairs to the room. I realised it was far too small. To comfortably staff I'd have needed half that room. The guy I was supposed to meet was late. The event was supposed to start at 2, but when I got there later at 4:30 the music still wasn't on. You could quickly tell all of them had done hard drugs too much - they weren't all there. The guy introduced me and made up some story on how we met - none of it being true. Not sure if he mistook me for someone else, or was just telling a blatent lie. Maybe he just didn't know: he was a mess-head.
The guy I'd met at the entrace was joking with his friends about drugs, then went up to the balcony of the room and I heard him snorting. I wasn't getting a great feeling about any of this. Then again - this is the kind of people who like that sort of music. I think I'd been naive in recognising who out of the 2 guys who had my number from seeing me staff. Because when I met him and he first took my number, he had white dribbling down a nostril.
Truth be told, I had a few years in my early 20's experimenting, but I knew powders was a literal line. I know why people take them - because the euphoria and energy and disassociation - but I also feel it's because it's a means to cope. There is an innate sadness that is being masked behind chemically induced ecstacy.
The guy who I was supposed to meet rang me on a random number, and he also sounded high. I ended up returning at 4:30 and saw the group, plus the one who phoned me at the entrance. They were taking money and putting wristbands on people etc.
The music began within minutes of me arriving. But when I got into the room I'd noticed the chairs that we'd bordered my corner of the room had all been moved. I politely asked people to move a bit further forward - but I knew space was going to be horrendous in there.
Within a minute of getting there, I heard someone using a cracker and filling a balloon with Nos. I also saw someone snorting powder off the end of a crutch. Bit of an odd choice. A man in a flat cap like I was wearing walked up to me, nodded. Seemed friendly - got a warm vibe, but then saw the powder under his nose and realised his brain was taking a while to sync up with what was happening around him.
The more I looked - the more I saw faces of people off their heads and the music hadn't even begun. When it did, I felt a little less claustrophobic. Thankfully I didn't have a panic attack driving to the event like I had done before fire staffing at my friend's wedding.
I was being overly cautious to avoid hitting someone, because a lot of people were not paying attention to the bright LED staff spinning less than a metre in front of their faces.
Honestly - the music was good, but I didn't feel part of it. I hadn't done hard drugs in 15 years, and I felt like a spectator.
As usual, people came up to me asking if they could use the staff. None of them could do anything, and were more mesmerised by the colours. But had no spatial awareness, and I had to give them all a wide berth to avoid getting hit.
The last of the 3 was a short, plump girl with a shaved head, really heavy makeup and lots of tattoos. To be honest she was kind of cute. She kept hugging me to talk in my ear. She ended up coming over to talk to me twice and asked my name.
I lasted about 50 minutes, and then people just started meandering towards me to do God knows what. But the lack of spatial awareness was driving me insane. I was supposed to be staffing on a stage - instead I was hemmed into a corner of a room which other people kept walking through or simply sitting or standing in.
In the end some guy comes over gets out a huge wallet full of cash. Then takes drugs out his shoes, and tries to measure powder on a digital scale on a floor whilst off his face. It goes everywhere, and all his friends then gather round, all at my feet.
I just thought "no". I'm done with that - all of it. I love the music, but the entire atmosphere of that place was horrid. I just felt an underlying sadness to all of it. Some looked like kindred spirits, and I'm sure many among them were talented, creatives etc. But everywhere I looked people were high.
So I walked out.
Lo and behold - the shaved head girl was outside. I slipped past the guys still doing money and wristbands, only to be met by the girl shouting "Ed, you can't leave!"
Her and her friends tried to describe what I did with my staff to the doorman, who looked at my staff carry case (just a material tube with a strap) and asked "is that a fishing rod?"
Yes, because I bring fishing rods to drum & bass events.
He asked for a demonstration, which I did briefly as it was raining outside. Then, when the girl got distracted, I walked off and back to the car.
My friend from breakfast asked if I wanted to meet up with him, but I said that I was kind of burnt out. Amped up for a lot of the week, worrying about staffing in front of people etc.
He sent some messages I didn't see whilst driving back the last just being "..." on a new line of text. I honestly find that one of the most annoying things to type, especially if it's not before or after words. Just on it's own - ach I wanted to slap him.
I explained briefly I was burnt out, needed a quiet one. He's read the messages but hasn't replied. So now I feel guilty for that, and leaving the event early.
Still - I'm sure it could've been worse. At least I wasn't tempted by what I saw. The only pleasant thing was hearing live underground music from a big rig of loudspeakers.
Ed
We went inside and ordered breakfast. The pub wasn't too full for a Saturday late morning, but being a Wetherspoons, the pubs are huge, so capacity is much larger than most. I brought some cigars, but the weather was foul and truth be told the occasion didn't really merit, but I gave one to my friend to have. I haven't smoked a cigar in over 6 months, but I didn't want to waste one and have it just for the sake of it. My friend had to go to his dad's surprise bday party, so the meetup was cut short. We left at 12.
I went to the town hall straight after, I was greeted by the man in the group from the beer garden. He had to do a double take - but he recognised who I was and took me upstairs to the room. I realised it was far too small. To comfortably staff I'd have needed half that room. The guy I was supposed to meet was late. The event was supposed to start at 2, but when I got there later at 4:30 the music still wasn't on. You could quickly tell all of them had done hard drugs too much - they weren't all there. The guy introduced me and made up some story on how we met - none of it being true. Not sure if he mistook me for someone else, or was just telling a blatent lie. Maybe he just didn't know: he was a mess-head.
The guy I'd met at the entrace was joking with his friends about drugs, then went up to the balcony of the room and I heard him snorting. I wasn't getting a great feeling about any of this. Then again - this is the kind of people who like that sort of music. I think I'd been naive in recognising who out of the 2 guys who had my number from seeing me staff. Because when I met him and he first took my number, he had white dribbling down a nostril.
Truth be told, I had a few years in my early 20's experimenting, but I knew powders was a literal line. I know why people take them - because the euphoria and energy and disassociation - but I also feel it's because it's a means to cope. There is an innate sadness that is being masked behind chemically induced ecstacy.
The guy who I was supposed to meet rang me on a random number, and he also sounded high. I ended up returning at 4:30 and saw the group, plus the one who phoned me at the entrance. They were taking money and putting wristbands on people etc.
The music began within minutes of me arriving. But when I got into the room I'd noticed the chairs that we'd bordered my corner of the room had all been moved. I politely asked people to move a bit further forward - but I knew space was going to be horrendous in there.
Within a minute of getting there, I heard someone using a cracker and filling a balloon with Nos. I also saw someone snorting powder off the end of a crutch. Bit of an odd choice. A man in a flat cap like I was wearing walked up to me, nodded. Seemed friendly - got a warm vibe, but then saw the powder under his nose and realised his brain was taking a while to sync up with what was happening around him.
The more I looked - the more I saw faces of people off their heads and the music hadn't even begun. When it did, I felt a little less claustrophobic. Thankfully I didn't have a panic attack driving to the event like I had done before fire staffing at my friend's wedding.
I was being overly cautious to avoid hitting someone, because a lot of people were not paying attention to the bright LED staff spinning less than a metre in front of their faces.
Honestly - the music was good, but I didn't feel part of it. I hadn't done hard drugs in 15 years, and I felt like a spectator.
As usual, people came up to me asking if they could use the staff. None of them could do anything, and were more mesmerised by the colours. But had no spatial awareness, and I had to give them all a wide berth to avoid getting hit.
The last of the 3 was a short, plump girl with a shaved head, really heavy makeup and lots of tattoos. To be honest she was kind of cute. She kept hugging me to talk in my ear. She ended up coming over to talk to me twice and asked my name.
I lasted about 50 minutes, and then people just started meandering towards me to do God knows what. But the lack of spatial awareness was driving me insane. I was supposed to be staffing on a stage - instead I was hemmed into a corner of a room which other people kept walking through or simply sitting or standing in.
In the end some guy comes over gets out a huge wallet full of cash. Then takes drugs out his shoes, and tries to measure powder on a digital scale on a floor whilst off his face. It goes everywhere, and all his friends then gather round, all at my feet.
I just thought "no". I'm done with that - all of it. I love the music, but the entire atmosphere of that place was horrid. I just felt an underlying sadness to all of it. Some looked like kindred spirits, and I'm sure many among them were talented, creatives etc. But everywhere I looked people were high.
So I walked out.
Lo and behold - the shaved head girl was outside. I slipped past the guys still doing money and wristbands, only to be met by the girl shouting "Ed, you can't leave!"
Her and her friends tried to describe what I did with my staff to the doorman, who looked at my staff carry case (just a material tube with a strap) and asked "is that a fishing rod?"
Yes, because I bring fishing rods to drum & bass events.
He asked for a demonstration, which I did briefly as it was raining outside. Then, when the girl got distracted, I walked off and back to the car.
My friend from breakfast asked if I wanted to meet up with him, but I said that I was kind of burnt out. Amped up for a lot of the week, worrying about staffing in front of people etc.
He sent some messages I didn't see whilst driving back the last just being "..." on a new line of text. I honestly find that one of the most annoying things to type, especially if it's not before or after words. Just on it's own - ach I wanted to slap him.
I explained briefly I was burnt out, needed a quiet one. He's read the messages but hasn't replied. So now I feel guilty for that, and leaving the event early.
Still - I'm sure it could've been worse. At least I wasn't tempted by what I saw. The only pleasant thing was hearing live underground music from a big rig of loudspeakers.
Ed
Last edited:
