spending time in nt's company, causes you to not want to spend more time in their company

[Suzanne]

I have been really coming out of my comfort zone of late and as the title says, spending a lot more time in neurotypicals' company and honestly, it is so tiring and makes me feel that I am really not "getting it at all" or at least feel that we are on totally different pages.

The biggest thing that I find really hard to deal with is their jokes. Yesterday, I endured some of these jokes and one in particularly just did not get and even when it was explained to me, I still did not get the humor of it all and when I reasoned on it, I was told that I was digging myself into a grave ie making myself look more of an idiot!

Basically, it was a "blond joke" ( which I find offensive anyway and no, I am not blond). How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is: 3. Two to turn the chair around and one to put the light in! So I said: yes, but I wouldn't turn the chair around; and besides there is not only the screw in one, but the other type too. Well, because I did not find it particularly funny ( my husband didn't get it at first, then did), I was apparently making matters worse, but I ask? Doesn't this make them the "blond ones" to find it funny?

Another is this blasted taking things literal. Someone said that they can smell English people out ( we live in France) and so, I said: oh what do we smell like then, since we are both English too? She said in a really disparaging tone: heck, I was JOKING! I felt both angry and embarrassed. I suppose I did see that she was joking, but at the same time, could not help but blurt out that!

When someone is talking and you see they are mistaken, do you find yourself having to put them right? It is like thinking that it is a waste of their breath to carry on, when it is not a necessary conversation? I do not even use arrogance; I say very quietly that is not quite how it is etc and get: did not mean that ( in a very annoyed tone) and, but I see what you mean! But still in a tone of how flipping irritating I am! Well, all this does for me, is makes me think it is better to just keep quiet, because whatever I say, sends people into a state of frenzy!

It is just awful to not get what is going on around me!

I honestly do feel like an alien

 

[Judge]

In the last few years I "pushed" myself to join a hobby club. Mostly just to keep me in the physical presence of others given that otherwise I live in virtual isolation. Can't say I sensed any of them to be on the spectrum.

But after about four years of it, I realized I was getting absolutely NOTHING out of it, and in real-time still felt as if I was on the outside looking in. While I didn't find this scenario overtly stressful, I just felt "empty" about it all. I quit going. Even having an obscure hobby was just not enough to socially motivate me among NTs. Maybe this is more about my depression than autism. I'm not really sure.

Yet I can't help but wonder in a cosmic sense if I'm simply supposed to be alone for the remainder of my life. Maybe this is what I am all about...for better or worse.

 

[toothless]

i think some NTs can be relateable, in my whole life ive had two offline friends [theyre both my current friends]-my best friend peter,who has moderate to severe intellectual disability [except social services have moved him into a adult adoption scheme and cant tell me where he is living out of confidentiality which is freaking me out] and my best friend celine-who is NT but severely physically disabled,she is totally on my level,she knows how to interact with me without ever having had experience of autism, why? i think shes very open minded.

dont give up hope and abandon the NT world, there is someone for everyone i think,its about luck-you have to be in the right place at the right time to catch the right person,i only met celine because she moved into the apartment next to me.