Speaking Caveman

[ChildoftheCorn]

I've always been so much more eloquent in writing. I can speak, in fact sometimes I talk a lot. But, my spoken word is often broken and chaotic. Sometimes I can't grasp common words, or it comes out in gibberish.

Examples, one day I was asking my boss how large she wanted me to make a specific advertisement. Instead of asking that, what came out was "How much big you want?" Or once trying to talk about fire hydrants. I could see it in my head, but not the word. I referred to them as "the yellow or red things that dogs pee on."

It makes me crazy. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm freaking brilliant. Why does this happen? Is this common in ASD? I always apologize and explain that sometimes the English language fails me. I've been like this as long as I can remember. Is this the answer?

 

[Autism]

I've always been so much more eloquent in writing. I can speak, in fact sometimes I talk a lot. But, my spoken word is often broken and chaotic. Sometimes I can't grasp common words, or it comes out in gibberish.

Examples, one day I was asking my boss how large she wanted me to make a specific advertisement. Instead of asking that, what came out was "How much big you want?" Or once trying to talk about fire hydrants. I could see it in my head, but not the word. I referred to them as "the yellow or red things that dogs pee on."

It makes me crazy. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm freaking brilliant. Why does this happen? Is this common in ASD? I always apologize and explain that sometimes the English language fails me. I've been like this as long as I can remember. Is this the answer?

Oh, I had to laugh, because I have those tendencies too. To have brilliant minds only to discover that our own language skills fail us at times. I could see myself in your post. Happens all the time, I usually laugh about it.

 

[Turk]

Yep the problem is we are quick thinkers, but it just cant get to our mouth, quick enough, to highlight it.
Im quite often left with a puzzled look on my face. "did that come out my mouth "

 

[Vanilla]

I think I wrote a similar reply to another thread, but this seems relevant to this topic as well.

I once spoke with a psychotherapist (who also has AS) about this, and they explained that for Aspies, the reason we struggle to find our words, is because our minds are so filled with knowledge.

We are like sponges; picking up little details, and bits of information, and because we have filled our minds so, it then takes us longer to then rifle through our many thoughts, simply to find the right one.

If you can imagine our minds as being equivalent to a store room full of filing cabinets, we would have many of these; jam packed. Even something as simple as finding 'the right word', can get lost in the sea of information.

This is a similar occurrence in elderly people, which causes them to appear slow, or forgetful; when really they simply have a lifetime of information to search through. I suppose Aspies simply get there at an earlier age.

That's why writing lists, and organising, soothes us. It helps us to reorganise our thoughts, so that we may learn how to better locate the correct files from our complex system.

 

[Turk]

I think I wrote a similar reply to another thread, but this seems relevant to this topic as well.

I once spoke with a psychotherapist (who also has AS) about this, and they explained that for Aspies, the reason we struggle to find our words, is because our minds are so filled with knowledge.

We are like sponges; picking up little details, and bits of information, and because we have filled our minds so, it then takes us longer to then rifle through our many thoughts, simply to find the right one.

If you can imagine our minds as being equivalent to a store room full of filing cabinets, we would have many of these; jam packed. Even something as simple as finding 'the right word', can get lost in the sea of information.

This is a similar occurrence in elderly people, which causes them to appear slow, or forgetful; when really they simply have a lifetime of information to search through. I suppose Aspies simply get there at an earlier age.

That's why writing lists, and organising, soothes us. It helps us to reorganise our thoughts, so that we may learn how to better locate the correct files from our complex system.

Hmmm could it be, we are mental horders. Could be a reality TV show on the horizon

 

[rollerskate]

The other day I puzzled someone immensely by calling a pillow case a "pillow cover" after fumbling with my words for a while trying to remember the right word and going through this long complicated description of what I was trying to think of the word for.

It happens to me all the time. Here I have this massive vocabulary that's won me tons of spelling bees and writing awards and yet, I'll have trouble remembering the proper word for the most common every day stuff, or with sequencing my words just right so that I make a proper sentence, or I'll randomly blurt out a word that is similar to the one I mean but the wrong tense or wrong definition.

It's made even more mortifying when the person I'm talking to corrects me like I don't know where I just messed up. It used to make me really angry when they did that because I knew they thought that I just didn't know, and the problem isn't not knowing but simply not being able to access and organize the information quickly enough to beat it coming out my mouth.

Sigh. And people wonder why I'm so quiet....

 

[Vanilla]

The other day I puzzled someone immensely by calling a pillow case a "pillow cover" after fumbling with my words for a while trying to remember the right word and going through this long complicated description of what I was trying to think of the word for.

It happens to me all the time. Here I have this massive vocabulary that's won me tons of spelling bees and writing awards and yet, I'll have trouble remembering the proper word for the most common every day stuff, or with sequencing my words just right so that I make a proper sentence, or I'll randomly blurt out a word that is similar to the one I mean but the wrong tense or wrong definition.

It's made even more mortifying when the person I'm talking to corrects me like I don't know where I just messed up. It used to make me really angry when they did that because I knew they thought that I just didn't know, and the problem isn't not knowing but simply not being able to access and organize the information quickly enough to beat it coming out my mouth.

Sigh. And people wonder why I'm so quiet....

I understand your frustration, though I have found myself also filling in the blanks for others who struggle, and understand that this is only done as a curtesy, as people are human, and even the smartest of us will make mistakes. I think you'll find that many of us worry too much about how people perceive us, when in reality, they're no longer thinking about the very thing we're obsessively over-analysing. I myself used to do this too, but have learned to relax a lot more now, and don't mind people correcting me, as I find it more frustrating to not have that word.

 

[Vanilla]

I'm much better with the written word than the spoken. It's as though my brain locks up if I try to engage in a conversation; it's not as bad with those to whom I'm closest, which isn't many. A confrontation or debate is even worse. I'd never make it on a debating team, which is why I avoid arguments. On the other hand, I can preach without any problems. I even teach Sunday school from time to time, which isn't too bad. Occasionally I'll lock up and will have to backtrack. Those in the class are used to it, so there's usually no problems. Visitors tend to get confused, though.

Yes, it's because when writing, we have the luxury of time to think, and analyse our words, before submitting them

 

[meff]

Talking is so difficult, it's one of the things I'm the worst at. My friends will tease me often because I'll just spout a series of words that I figure is "close enough" to what I mean but it sounds so weird that they have to laugh at it. I'll try harder to get the words right with people I don't know too well, but then my rush to speak quickly will cause me to blurt out a bunch of noise and I'll have to start over. And I know what you mean about confrontation and debate, Sportster. God Forbid I actually try to defend something-- it's the biggest mess of half-baked statements and logical fallacies one could conceive. And I always find myself thinking "that's not what I meant to say at all!" when it's all said and done. :/
However, I've always been told I'm a wonderful writer, though even writing stresses me out. The technical side of language is something I enjoy, but it seems rather worthless at times when you can't even talk right.

 

[Judge]

Occasionally I can step outside myself for a brief moment and both marvel- and lament at the human brain.

Just as I can look over at my front door, know it's locked and yet it is almost a certainty that I will be compelled to check that lock no less than four times within a half hour of when I go to bed. And yes, despite my intellect there are times I may sound like a blithering idiot.

Crazy? No. Human? Definitely. It's not a crime.

 

[tlc]

Yes I am exactly the same way. I can write better than most I know, but my speaking is horrid. Like a slow hillbilly with a brain that sticks. I wrote the best installation/repair manuals we had in the history of the company. But I try to describe things verbally at work and after stuttering on something all I can come up with is little kid words for industry features. Yes I was the always the top speller in school and won the county bee in 1990 as well. Like others, when I write I can think about what to say. I don't do well in meetings or on the phone (or debate or anything social) because being put on the spot just doesn't work. Just send me an email and I'll work out a good accurate answer. My boss knows I'm the best engineer we got and I know the equipment better than most, but it just doesn't come out that way. Most people think I'm totally stupid until they get to know me then they think I'm the smartest one they know.

 

[rollerskate]

Yes I am exactly the same way. I can write better than most I know, but my speaking is horrid. Like a slow hillbilly with a brain that sticks. I wrote the best installation/repair manuals we had in the history of the company. But I try to describe things verbally at work and after stuttering on something all I can come up with is little kid words for industry features. Yes I was the always the top speller in school and won the county bee in 1990 as well. Like others, when I write I can think about what to say. I don't do well in meetings or on the phone (or debate or anything social) because being put on the spot just doesn't work. Just send me an email and I'll work out a good accurate answer. My boss knows I'm the best engineer we got and I know the equipment better than most, but it just doesn't come out that way. Most people think I'm totally stupid until they get to know me then they think I'm the smartest one they know.

Awesome to know I'm in the company of a fellow technical writer. That's something I've marveled over many times. I have issues with the simplest speech and communication with NTs, but can write a set of instructions, a guide, or review just about anyone can understand and follow. Go figure.

I'm a bit jealous of the engineering, though. I only learned about two years ago that it would have been the perfect and most natural route for me to go. But unfortunately it seems I've missed that boat.

 

[karen70]

interesting to read peoples thoughts on here.
I've recently been told that if I try to get a diagnosis of aspergers then i'll make myself look a twat, however that 'word' was given to me in a strange circumstance.
Basically I can write a lot quicker as my mind is able to function better this way, some people see this as a chicken **** way out but if I couldn't write I know I would be well and truly stuffed.
I can't do confrontation, I can't show my feelings or explain myself.... or at least this is how the last 45 years has been.
I have studied myself at college doing a developmental course for counselling skills and I learnt the hard way that my whole way of life was back to front and abnormal. Figuring this, I still had so much difficulty in putting my learnings into action.
The journals explain so much of my journey to self discovery and I totally believe after a whole life of not understanding and getting things wrong that actually aspergers could be the reason.

 

[Jimbo]

I can relate to the jumbled words thing. I try to slow down and think before I speak and sort of rehearse the words. If I get in a hurry there is no telling what will fly out of my mouth.

 

[Crossbreed]

This is why I usually eschew chat...