Social anxiety fueled nightmare?

[Dr. Smart]

Just wanted to bring up a dream i had last night... I don't usually analyse my dreams too much, actually i rarely remember much of them... but this one seemed to involve a few elements of my life that I would not have thought would create a nightmare...

First off I recently moved into my first apartment, and this is the first time since I moved out of my parent's house that I have neighbors literally on the other side of a wall, it worried me that I might be making too much noise, i talk loudly and tend to get over excited while playing video games with friends. I ran into my neighbor a week or so ago and asked, and he let me know he had not even heard me, so i felt some relief.

however in my dream it would appear things are different, I dreamed that my manager apparently showed up at my apartment, and with her came 4 large men who presumably lived next door to me, even though they weren't the guy i know to live next to me irl, the men were angry that I had continuously made so much noise and one of them physically grabbed me into a bear hug I would like to state that they did not hit me, or in anyway attack my body besides grabbing me, but because of my autism, i'm sensitive to human touch which was in my dream amplified so i did feel very attacked as most people would in such a situation irl but also my autism was being used against me... even in the dream there was a logical side of me that knew they couldn't do this and thought about contacting the police, but at that point i looked at my manager and somehow my brain made some leap that she was basically granting them permission to do this and apparently her authority stopped such ideas about police or justice...

there was more to the dream, but it gets more weird and less focused after words, but this is the main section that got me thinking when i came to the waking world,

1. My manager is nice and wouldn't have done anything like this... i get the feeling it wasn't about her but about authority, even in a dream where i'm essentially being assaulted i buckle to authority...
2. I let this whole thing about being too noisy or annoying get the better of me, i fear of inconveniencing people so much that my brain is creating scenarios in which i am assaulted for simply being a little loud this is a mix of social anxiety and overly strict parenting that has caused me issue in the past but this dream puts this trait on blast for me...
3. I felt weak... not in a "there are 4 guys trying to intimidate me" kind of weak, but more of a social anxiety kind of weak, like i was totally helpless and felt i brought it on myself because i was so loud i guess, this part is hard to explain since its more of a feeling i had that relates to what happened in the dream more then a part of the dream i can analyse specifically...

anyways i really wanted to talk about the dream, but didn't want to embarass myself talking to my friends about it... and i was hoping maybe my fellow aspies might understand...


anyways, anyone ever had a dream or nightmare that related to your autism/aspergers in anyway?

 

[Gracey]

I'm not sure I've ever tried to link dreams to any traits. (That isn't to say I wouldn't give it some thought from now on)
As I understand it, dreams may be an echo of worries or thoughts or ideas?

 

[Dr. Smart]

I'm not sure I've ever tried to link dreams to any traits. (That isn't to say I wouldn't give it some thought from now on)
As I understand it, dreams may be an echo of worries or thoughts or ideas?

I just noted how the dreams central focus was around my worry of being an annoyance or inconvenience to a neighbor, one of my big social anxiety traits and i sort of started looking further into it from there...

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I know you asked a question about nightmares, but first I just wanted to say I totally related to your #2. I had very abusive parents and developed very severe social anxiety, so much that not only did I not talk more than a yes, no, or I do not know, or brief word or two to others up to my twenties, I had this severe desire not to inconvenience neighbors after leaving home at age eighteen and through my college years, when living in several different apartments.

I would turn down my television or radio to levels as low as a whisper and be within inches of it listening so I could hear without disturbing any neighbor, and I would vacuum when I knew the neighbors were away. I would make sure when I walked I would not be heard below, and I had to time phone calls with my brother to make sure he called at a certain time so I could pick up the phone on the first ring, and I would lower my voice when I spoke. And for instance when I washed and dried dishes I made sure they did not make a clash sound.

In my case, I had an intense anxiety that if the neighbors heard me, then they would either think about me, talk about me, or want to listen to my doings more, thus I felt I was inconveniencing them. I hated affecting others this way, and yet I did not care if my life was adversely being affected by my extreme hyper awareness of others, and the resulting changes I had to make in daily living to not disturb them, as pleasing them and being the perfect neighbor was more important than pleasing myself. I rather inconvenience myself than even bad neighbors who often inconvenienced me.

This told me many possible things about myself during those years: that my self-esteem was really low, for me feeling those neighbors had more rights than myself; that I had severe privacy needs as I obsessed also then that others would become aware of who I was if they heard me or my doings, which would have made me want to move out; that I was sort of a perfectionist for my need to not be seen as a bad neighbor; that I was very vigilant and with empsthy and/or that I was very sensitive to loud things.

But, once I started living in houses instead of apartments, and with neighbors farther away, from my late twenties to currently, over twenty years later, I could rule out noise sensitivity as one of those reasons I was quieter in my doings, as in a home I then never turned down my television and radio and I acted more normally in terms of loudness when walking indoors and doing chores, and with less of a hushed voice. I was more myself and not thinking about others. And so for my situation, I could never live in another apartment again because I was thinking too much about disturbing neighbors. So the reason partly why we picked a nice private country location far away from people.

So, I think you are right that that extreme anxiety or fear at inconveniencing others could be parental abuse and social anxiety related, among other reasons, too, like genetic, depending on condition. So, whether I have a high functioning Autism condition, or just severe social anxiety with perfectionism issues, does not really matter to me, as regardless I just focus on being my best everyday and self-improvement. Although I no longer worry about most things, and I have improved socially, I just think it may be always hard to change myself from not being very aware of inconveniencing others, as that is a big part of who I am.

With regards to nightmares as pertaining to this issue, I can only say I had a couple of dreams in my last ten years not relating to inconveniencing others with loud noise, but instead where I was totally perfect giving speeches in front of large groups of people, with me speaking at length about subjects to audiences with ease, confidence, and with much approval. This contradicted how my speeches were in real life at school and college, where my voice wavered, my head was down and face red, and where not many words would come out. But, the reality was as I was a perfectionist then in other activities or chores to the best of my ability, that is why that social perfection likely showed up too in those dreams.

 

[Gracey]

I could definitely state that the parts of dreams I can remember from the past two weeks have been anxiety related.
I have woken quickly because of them. (Alert, heart rate increased, nauseous, holding breath, shaking)

But I have to admit, although my dreams did involve a group of others/strangers, I wasn't anxious because I felt I was an inconvenience or been judged or criticised.
I awoke because their lack of understanding of the situation and their stupidity was going to get me and my daughters killed and felt helpless because I didn't know how to change the circumstances.

I'm not sure if that comes under the heading of social anxiety fuelled nightmare?

 

[Chance]

Just wanted to bring up a dream i had last night... I don't usually analyse my dreams too much, actually i rarely remember much of them... but this one seemed to involve a few elements of my life that I would not have thought would create a nightmare...

First off I recently moved into my first apartment, and this is the first time since I moved out of my parent's house that I have neighbors literally on the other side of a wall, it worried me that I might be making too much noise, i talk loudly and tend to get over excited while playing video games with friends. I ran into my neighbor a week or so ago and asked, and he let me know he had not even heard me, so i felt some relief.

however in my dream it would appear things are different, I dreamed that my manager apparently showed up at my apartment, and with her came 4 large men who presumably lived next door to me, even though they weren't the guy i know to live next to me irl, the men were angry that I had continuously made so much noise and one of them physically grabbed me into a bear hug I would like to state that they did not hit me, or in anyway attack my body besides grabbing me, but because of my autism, i'm sensitive to human touch which was in my dream amplified so i did feel very attacked as most people would in such a situation irl but also my autism was being used against me... even in the dream there was a logical side of me that knew they couldn't do this and thought about contacting the police, but at that point i looked at my manager and somehow my brain made some leap that she was basically granting them permission to do this and apparently her authority stopped such ideas about police or justice...

there was more to the dream, but it gets more weird and less focused after words, but this is the main section that got me thinking when i came to the waking world,

1. My manager is nice and wouldn't have done anything like this... i get the feeling it wasn't about her but about authority, even in a dream where i'm essentially being assaulted i buckle to authority...
2. I let this whole thing about being too noisy or annoying get the better of me, i fear of inconveniencing people so much that my brain is creating scenarios in which i am assaulted for simply being a little loud this is a mix of social anxiety and overly strict parenting that has caused me issue in the past but this dream puts this trait on blast for me...
3. I felt weak... not in a "there are 4 guys trying to intimidate me" kind of weak, but more of a social anxiety kind of weak, like i was totally helpless and felt i brought it on myself because i was so loud i guess, this part is hard to explain since its more of a feeling i had that relates to what happened in the dream more then a part of the dream i can analyse specifically...

anyways i really wanted to talk about the dream, but didn't want to embarass myself talking to my friends about it... and i was hoping maybe my fellow aspies might understand...


anyways, anyone ever had a dream or nightmare that related to your autism/aspergers in anyway?

I have done this not only at night in a dream, but in daytime also. I think I fear of being a bother to people most all the time. I lived a nightmare as a kid, so maybe now I just fear setting people off and I'm not even sure what would set them off.

Also I think AS/ASD people just sometimes over think stuff whether we are awake or asleep, which can be a nightmare or become a stroke of genius in the right setting.

To me... your normal. Just maybe KNOW your not bothering them and carry on. : )