So today I had a meltdown

[Mattymatt]

One of the big holidays in the U.S. is Labor Day and typically families get together for this. Today I had an absolute meltdown and had to leave the family gathering. I was feeling overwhelmed by the people there and my brother brought his hyper dog and I was pushed over the edge. With apologies to dog lovers, I do not like dogs at all. I don't like getting jumped on, sniffed, and licked - and the barking was god awful. My brother's dog kept jumping on me and licking me and my brother didn't do jack all squat about it. What is it with some dog owners thinking that their dog shouldn't bother others? I don't like little kids either because they can be really noisy.

Anyhow, between the people and the dog it was too much. I could feel the meltdown coming. It's been about three years since this happened and I hate the feeling. Usually I can control myself but today it wasn't going to happen. For me it's a mixture of sensory overload which then makes me want to lash out in defense and anger. It's a good thing I left because when I get that way, I cannot even predict how I will act. Call it the culmination of a long and disappointing 2 weeks. There is a reason I like cats. Cats are calming and methodical. They don't run around helter-skelter and when they jump into your lap it's to sleep, not to go freaking crazy.

Sorry about this rant, I just need to get all of this out of my head. I hate sensory overload and I was already feeling ill at ease to begin with. The day just started that way. Does anybody else ever just sort of viscerally know and understand that they're going to have a day when their autism is probably going to be worse than normal? That's the way I woke up today. Something was definitely amiss and I have no idea what. Everything is bothering me today. I couldn't even find anything to watch on TV. Even the sights and sounds coming from the TV were annoying like an itch that I couldn't scratch.

I think I am going to work on a mandala and give myself some art therapy to hopefully relax a little. I'll see if that helps some.

 

[Noelle]

I hear you, Mattymatt. So do many others. iPhones with earphones are a godsend. Avoid these places and gatherings when you can, and when you can't, block them out. People will have to get over it.

 

[oregano]

Fortunately I don't have much in the way of immediate family, so I don't have to endure the family cookouts that NT's love to put on for Labor Day. One thing I DO hate is that seemingly every college student in town heads for the river and gets falling down drunk and they all start going wild and the cops have to swoop in and drag them off to the drunk tank. I just avoid the river at all costs, I just try to stay away from it, and that includes all bridges. With all the emphasis on "social justice" in American universities you'd think that the kids would be taught the true history and meaning of Labor Day, and it's not "the end of summer fun so time to get drunk lol!!!". Instead of marching on the Capitol demanding justice for workers they're all on rafts in the river getting falling down drunk. It's really embarassing.

 

[sidd851]

I hear you, Mattymatt. So do many others. iPhones with earphones are a godsend. Avoid these places and gatherings when you can, and when you can't, block them out. People will have to get over it.

I have adopted this as an insulator.
I find that many people will not attempt a conversation if I'm wearing my earbuds.
If I have to go out, but don't wish to interact,
they are invaluable, but not foolproof.
They also block out a great deal of noise.
(They work, in both instances, even if there
is nothing playing from them, kind of like
earplugs.)

 

[Butterfly88]

Sorry to hear this. This happens to me sometimes too. I like dogs but always hate when people keep hyper dogs around as it's impolite; I have a dog but I don't let her jump on the guests unless they are okay with it. Usually she's in the other room when company comes unless there's a dog lover. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

 

[Icequeen]

Sounds like you still handled it pretty well, and you knew you needed to remove yourself from the situation before anyone was nuked in the fallout.

Yep, some days are just like that, if I'm not feeling really good to begin with, if I didn't sleep well, if I had a really stressful day before that...I know that things are going to bother me more than they might normally.

More of a cat person myself because of this very issue with most dogs, but have encountered some laid back dogs in my lifetime that did win my heart.

My inlaws have boxers, and I've needed to go up their house to install a new phone jack and have been putting it off for this very reason. One is a sweetheart and one of the "special" ones, the other is just past puppy stage and into hyper mode. They seem think he just needs to get used to seeing people...but he's 50 lbs of nipping, jumping, barking craziness and he freaks me out to the point where I just need to get. out. NOW.

Harmless or not, I am perfectly fine with him not getting used to me until he wears himself out using the rest of the relatives as a chew toy first.

The time it takes me to reach the freak out point is always opposite to the size of the dog. The larger the dog, the sooner it happens.

Enjoy your mandala, and I hope it helps you relax.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’m a dog lover and I would not appreciate barking jumping dogs, even the small ones. Small dogs have a high pitched bark that splits my head open.
Just thought I’d share that for no particular reason.

 

[George Newman]

MattyMatt, there are days that I am on top of my game. I am self aware in every way and I do a great job understanding the building layers toward overload and I either talk myself thru it or I step out of the situation. There are other days that I wish my house could just lock the doors and keep me inside. These are the days when I am just off. It’s totally me. My autism is the same. What is off is my ability to manage it in the life scenarios I find my self in. I’m glad you feel like you can come to AutismForums and get it off your chest. That sounded like a very difficult spot for you and I know it is just like a dozzen similar scenarios we have all been in. Thank you for sharing your experience. I know we all can learn from it.

 

[Nightingale121]

For me it's a mixture of sensory overload which then makes me want to lash out in defense and anger.

I can relate to this.
Luckily I rarely have full-blown meltdowns, but occasionally the overload leads to some sort of first state of this if I cannot escape the situation in time.

Today was one of these days for me as an end of a stressful weekend.
I had to try very hard not to show this too much and to keep at least some self control. I knew I couldn't escape for some time, but would be able to do so and go home afterwards.
Some people worried about my behaviour and one asked why I'm acting this way, mistaking it for some sort of (voluntary?/purposeful?) temper tantrum, which, indeed, wouldn't have made much sense in the situation as I already knew I'd get what I wanted (my escape) some time later.

Everything is bothering me today. I couldn't even find anything to watch on TV. Even the sights and sounds coming from the TV were annoying like an itch that I couldn't scratch.

I hate this feeling.
It makes it hard to even do some of the things I usually enjoy because in that moment it's just too much input even though it's technically "good" input I actually like, e. g. music.
When I'm at this point I usually just go to bed, hide under my blanket and try to sleep to recharge and hopefully feel better the next day.

I hear you, Mattymatt. So do many others. iPhones with earphones are a godsend. Avoid these places and gatherings when you can, and when you can't, block them out. People will have to get over it.

I have adopted this as an insulator.
I find that many people will not attempt a conversation if I'm wearing my earbuds.
If I have to go out, but don't wish to interact,
they are invaluable, but not foolproof.
They also block out a great deal of noise.
(They work, in both instances, even if there
is nothing playing from them, kind of like
earplugs.)

Another insulator I use is reading books. This doesn't work in all situations, but it's my favourite way to avoid conversation attempts on public transport.

 

[Mattymatt]

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. It really feels good to know what I am not alone. @George Newman, you really hit the nail on the head. For the most part, I too am usually pretty self-aware and have the same kind of understanding you do. I seldom have episodes like I did yesterday. But when they hit, it's like I lose all self-awareness and cannot understand why things are happening the way they are. I guess I just have to chalk it up to neurology behaving really strangely. The meltdown was so bad I couldn't fall asleep until well after midnight yet I feel better today and less wound up like a coiled spring.

 

[Decameron]

The problem with dogs is that their owners don't give you a choice. Their opinion is that their pet is amazing and everyone should interact with them. Whenever they meet someone who doesn't like dogs they get upset and sometimes even aggressive. They confuse their opinion with their behavior and can't see that they are bothering other people (because, you know, their dog is cute, what's your problem?)

I don't have an easy solution for you other than to avoid those people. That's hard these days because it seems to be a huge trend for everyone to own a dog.

I can tell you however that a guaranteed way of making sure dog people don't bother you is to carry a pet tarantula with you, preferably clearly visible. Hey, it's furry too you know!

 

[Book]

I'm with you, Matt. I like dogs, but I do not like it when they lick me or sniff my privates or jump on me or, especially, bark.

I don't like loud.

I have an old cat When he's gone, no more pets for me. I'm old and I don't want to leave an animal I love behind.

I used to have three horses, but sold them when my back got too bad to ride.

Anyway, as far as dogs, I don't care if the owner likes it or not. When they jump on me or sniff my privates, I slap them good.

Book