So sick of being misunderstood

[EricD]

I'm guilty of misunderstanding others almost as my much as I've been misunderstood. It just proves Aspies are people too!

 

[EricD]

How, as people on the spectrum, can we learn how to understand others, & be better understood ourselves? That's the $64,000 question!

 

[metalminx24]

I try to be a friendly, kind, helpful person. But a quote from younger son to prove I'm failing..." I don't dislike everything about you, I just hate the way you TALK and the way you ARE".

 

[EricD]

That's sad to hear, especially from your child! It may just be me, but I detect more than just a little disrespect in his comment. He needs to straighten up and fly right! You are his example and mentor, but most importantly his PARENT, you are the boss, and he needs to respect you, and learn from you. You need to respect him in return, live him no matter what, give him wise guidance and prepare him for the future

 

[Datura]

I find that in liew of implied meaning aspies tend to use more precise language. This often means longer sentences, along with bigger and more escoteric words. This, in itself, can cause people to think you are being a "know it all." Without even realizing I was doing this I found out that people were accusing me of being stuck up and pretensious for the way I spoke. In reality, I was being the fearthest thing from pretensious. I was just expressing myself in the way I find natural.

On the topic of inflection: transitioning from male to female has given me a lot of practice with changing my vocal patterns. You might want to copy your peers as a baseline for your desired voice, but then you can adjust from there. When you are alone try experimenting with different pitches and tones. Experiment with sounding like different types of people (ie. radio hosts, rowdy jocks, teachers, ext.) and cherrypick the aspects of those voices that you like. If you don't like the end result you can always revise until you get it right. If you use a given voice often enough it will become more natural to the point that you won't have to think about it any more. I personally have a few different modes of speech which I employ in every day interactions. I have my professional phone voice, my caregiver voice, my casual voice, and even a vocal pattern that comes out exclusively when I am talking with my brother. I don't sound like a totally different person while switching modes, but my inflection and diction is significantly different in each.

 

[Maelstrom]

I try to be a friendly, kind, helpful person. But a quote from younger son to prove I'm failing..." I don't dislike everything about you, I just hate the way you TALK and the way you ARE".

Sorry! metalminx24 ,that has to hurt a bit...but try to remember all kids at a certain age are embarrassed by their parents no matter how wonderful they are. And I think you are a very funny and nice person from your posts here, try not to take that to the heart. Your kid will feel terrible later on in life for saying that.

Mael don't feel bad metalminx24 , it's just life running you over......((((

 

[metalminx24]

I've no desire to hijack the thread, so I'll just say this - Thank You EricD and Maelstrom for your kind words. To the OP, the title of the thread really resonated, you're certainly not alone in the way you feel.

 

[Maelstrom]

Same here. Right now I'm in some hot water at work because of something I said that was misinterpreted and then blown out of proportion with a few blatant lies mixed in. At this point in time I am not very well liked at all, so there are those looking to make my life a living hell because of what I supposedly said and didn't say. It's a good thing I have my faith and believe in prayer, because it would be a lot worse.

I know exactly how you feel...unforetunately