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Should I bother with a formal diagnosis?

I spoke to a PsyD at length yesterday (mostly for my son) but she has encouraged me to get the dx, if only so I can get off the meds for bipolar disorder. I've also been reading some things online about NT children of Aspie parents, and think I'd be more cognizant of my parenting style if I had a formal dx. So I'm going to do it. Eventually.
 
For myself I'm pursuing a diagnosis even though it's very difficult to get diagnosed as an adult in NZ unless you can go private. I've returned to university and a diagnosis would give me access to special assistance. On a personal level it's important to me because I've been told I'm a hypochondriac before by people who don't understand the search to know why you're different and why you don't fit. There's a niggling fear that they're right and that there's just something wrong with me. (The depression's likely responsible for that...) Either way it would be reassuring to me to have a person say "you're not crazy, you are different".
 
Hi mama,
Which ever way you go, do it for your own peace of mind,; not for anyone else or any other reason.
At your age (in my country at least) there are no benefits and concessions from the government and I believe you need to be dx as autistic (by the old definition of the term) at a young age before you are entitled to anything.

You seem to have a very successful business and have raised children, so I think that despite your struggles you have done very well and better than most in society.

I got my dx when I was 43, but it was only for me, so I could "tie off that loose end". But I knew a year or 2 before the dx that I definitely had Aspergers. That moment I discovered it for myself, everything in my life till that point finally made complete sense. The piece of paper was just a classic Aspie need for doing things correctly and to their conclusion.

But it never got me ex-wife to accept me, it never saved my divorce, it never got me any apologies from organizations and people that I was mistreated by. It just gave me a formal reason to go with my self-diagnosis as to why I think and act a certain way. So I gave myself the concession and allowed myself to be different and no longer beat myself up over things I could not do.

I realized I could finally stop trying to measure myself against others and rating myself as inferior.
But like I said, that didn't come from the piece of paper. It came from learning about my son's condition, which in hand taught me a lot about myself.

If you have discovered for yourself that you have Aspergers (and when you know, you know) then you can do the same. If you want the piece of paper to go with it, then tie off that loose end.
Otherwise, save yourself the exorbitant Aspie-specialist psychologist's fees for how ever many sessions it takes to get your DX.

Also, if the psychologist says they can DX you in one session then they are lying. I'd say it would take a good psychologist 6-10 sessions. But it would take a fellow Aspie 10 minutes :D
Because other (self-aware and articulate) Aspies just know - it's like a radar.
 
mama_lotus said:
I spoke to a PsyD at length yesterday (mostly for my son) but she has encouraged me to get the dx, if only so I can get off the meds for bipolar disorder. I've also been reading some things online about NT children of Aspie parents, and think I'd be more cognizant of my parenting style if I had a formal dx. So I'm going to do it. Eventually.
Click to expand...

Hi Mama, DX or not, if you are strong enough to wean yourself off the meds, then do it.

I think you are very self-aware. And again DX or not, be cognizant of your parenting regardless.

The psych encouraged it because I think they could tell you want/need it for your own peace of mind, which is fine. (and maybe because they are a psychologist ;))

If you think your son has it, then it is hereditary, so at least one of his parents has it if not both. It just may be harder to recognize in yourself or your partner because of years of developing coping mechanisms (not socializing, drinking, a need for order and structure, a need to have or take control) or if you don't have coping mechanisms then maybe you/they have social anxiety disorder, chronic depression, excessive drinking)

One of my psychologists told me that you treat the behaviour, not the condition. Some Aspies cope very well and are successful in their chosen careers and family life. So they don't need meds, a DX, etc. Other Aspies can't cope so well and they need help to work on their behaviours (melt-downs, bad temper, social anxiety, depression). And there are some so-called NTs that also have trouble with their behaviours, who equally need help.

If you are not comfortable with aspects of your life (behaviours, dependency on medication, your parenting style, your life, career, marriage, etc) then seek help to change them, regardless of whether you have a formal diagnosis of Aspergers or not.

Find peace and love yourself and you will be light-years ahead of most people Aspies, NT, and everyone in-between.
 
Just thought you should know in following up on older posts:

mama_lotus was last seen: Jul 1, 2014
Thea was last seen: Oct 6, 2014
 
Last edited:
Thea said:
For myself I'm pursuing a diagnosis even though it's very difficult to get diagnosed as an adult in NZ unless you can go private. I've returned to university and a diagnosis would give me access to special assistance. On a personal level it's important to me because I've been told I'm a hypochondriac before by people who don't understand the search to know why you're different and why you don't fit. There's a niggling fear that they're right and that there's just something wrong with me. (The depression's likely responsible for that...) Either way it would be reassuring to me to have a person say "you're not crazy, you are different".
Click to expand...

It's great to see that in NZ you can get assistance for uni. I'm not sure what the situation is in Australia.

From a personal level, I'd suggest studying up on Aspergers, read all you can on it and talk to as many Aspies as you can, sharing your experiences to see if they experience the same things. I almost guarantee that you will share a lot of traits with them. This is how I DX myself before my formal DX.

100% of Aspies feel different than the rest of society, and they often go through their lives feeling like there is something wrong with them. And what makes it worse is everyone tells them that the only thing wrong with them is that they are a hypochondriac.

Without ever knowing what Aspergers was for 43 years, I developed social anxiety from a young age (<10) and that feeling of not fitting in and being defective and being unable to talk to people eventually lead to chronic depression. So I suffered for 38 years.

My informal self-diagnosis freed me from that 'prison cell' I put myself in.

There is a perfectly good reason why we aren't like everyone else, and we may not be very good NTs, because we aren't NTs. We aren't defective NTs; we are perfect Aspies!!!!

And feeling like you are a high achiever (by Aspie standards) is a great feeling. Feeling like you are a perfect Aspie (or a perfect anything really) is a great, uplifting experience.

I know I'm not a psychologist, but I will tell you now - you are not crazy, you are different, and you are exceptional in your own way and in your own right.

Forget about what others say and do to you, be kind to yourself and don't be so critical of everything you do (I know that most aspies are super-critical of everything they do, even breathing, probably). And if you aren't perfect, then give yourself permission to not be perfect.
 
Judge said:
Just thought you should know in following up on older posts:

mama_lotus was last seen: Jul 1, 2014
Click to expand...

Oh thanks!

I just came here to reply to an email I got on this subject. so I assumed it was current. My apologies, delete my posts if you like :/
 
AspieCialGuy said:
Oh thanks!

I just came here to reply to an email I got on this subject. so I assumed it was current. My apologies, delete my posts if you like :/
Click to expand...

No worries...it happens to us all usually when we first get here. I just noticed I haven't seen any posts from them in some time, so I simply clicked their avatars to determine the last time they were on.

But you never know...on occasion some folks come and go over very long periods of time.
 
the great thing about haivng such things in writing is that they can be read for months, years after we have written them, which can help new people because the same things still apply today that applied over a year ago. I wonder how they are getting on now - we need a "where are they now" section LOL
 
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