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Should I believe his actions or words and texts?

P

Patrice

Well-Known Member
I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 months now, he's been very open about have autisium, when we are together he is very attentive to me, always hugging, kissing & etc but he sometimes says stuff that can come off rude and mean. He will immediately apologize after if he sees it has upset me. He goes away every weekend to see his family since they live about 2 hours away. While he's gone he rarely texts and says when he comes back he's been to busy to miss me me but wants me to always say that I've missed him.hes also stopped sending me emojis while texting me. I might be over thinking things, it his words and texts sometimes seems like he doesn't care about me but his actions says he does and I should say that he has invited me to a wedding in September so I don't think he plans on us breaking up, he's just hard to tell how he feels sometimes
 
What i would suggest is try to learn whats Autistic in males all about so that you can better understand him and how he works.

In short i wouldnt worry to mush at this point :cool:
 
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Ive just recently met some nice men on the spectrum and here is what ive learned...they can at times be soooo attentive and caring but they arent that way all the time. Which isnt a fault, it makes the close times, the loving times more precious.
It takes some getting used to and you have to lean on your own reserves at those times you need him but he is focused on something else besides you.
I dont want to say you shouldnt need him, but you either have to be comfortable with his ways or find someone else.
But that is just my observation.
Oh, and emojis? Are you kidding me?
 
Three months is such a short time. :eek: I'm not sure what to say about that, I just know it's relevant somehow.
 
Don't worry about it. People on the spectrum are the most loyal, loving people out there. They may struggle with saying things that may be in poor taste for the situation but they probably won't be aware of it. I would be attentive and learn his quirks and know that he doesn't mean to be insensitive.:)
 
Relax - if he is with his family doing whatever the family does, he can't stop and text you to meet some kind of communication quota. If you let him do it when he feels like it, you are getting a genuine message with genuine sentiments. Factor in the traditional ADD, and you'll see he needs an even longer leash. Please remember that his family also likes his attention and his company. A man who is close to his family is most likely a quality guy. Let him have his time with them. He's not manipulating you or playing games with you.

I think a common feature attributed to ASD men would be "inattentive". It isn't intentional and it doesn't mean he is losing interest in you. If he asks you if you missed him, he is serious about getting a truthful answer. Be grateful, you have a partner who understands and appreciates the truth. If he didn't care, he wouldn't ask. ASD carries a different set of confusing signals. Words work best. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Learn to understand, appreciate, and accept his different habits and idiosyncrasies. You'll be fine.
 
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