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She's going away to college this Friday. So proud, so sad. Advice from others who have been through it?

Yeshuasdaughter

You know, that one lady we met that one time.
V.I.P Member
My darling daughter is eighteen, and she's all ready to go to one of the best colleges in the nation. Not only will she be a student, but she has an incredible voice and was hired to be a sports announcer for most of the sports except football. They have a professional do that.

I'm so proud of my little girl. I have watched her grow. She is strong, empathetic, and driven. She is a shy aspie, but once she gets to know a person, she is easygoing in conversation, and really, really funny.

I have homeschooled her, she supported me through cancer, and we have struggled together through life problems. I've done everything I can to make sure she has what I never did, even if it means I wear the same shoes for almost a decade, while she gets new Converse or Nikes. I haven't been a perfect mom. Sometimes I do put my foot down a little too firmly, or alternately, I get so wishy washy that I don't know how to give the best advice. But seeing the woman she has become, and the silly teenager she still is, I am overwhelmed with pride.

Here's the thing. She's going away to school. Yes the school is only 2 hours away by bus, but gosh, that's my one and only child, my daughter. I've cried so much, had bad dreams, and just been an emotional wreck for the past few days. It's getting harder as the day looms nearer. I'm just all broken up, but also so dang proud of her. I'm so confident that she'll make it.

I just want to hold her in my arms forever, and never let her go. But every baby bird has to leave the nest sometime.

Parents who have been through this with your children, what did you do? How did you cope? How was your life after your children moved away? How did you stay in touch? What kind of life events happened after that? Were you lonely? How did you deal with that? Did the pride of knowing they were successful overtake the sadness of them going away?
 
My mom cried for days when I went to college, and when I moved into my own house.
I still make sure I call her every day, even if our relationship isn’t always the best.
 
You did the best you could do. And she is already succeeding. That's amazing. All we can do is hope that they realize we were in their corner always supporting them. Outside of that, we need to step back so that we don't hover. Lol.

You gave her tools, that she can use for the rest of her life.

Now you need to think about yourself. Take care of yourself please.
 
This is pretty much why I could never have kids. I'd raise them like my dogs: you're going to stay at home forever and ever, I'm going to make sure nothing bad happens to you, and I'll shelter and protect you from the evils of the world.

My unborn kid didn't even make it to college, let's just put it that way :)
 
This might not be the best advice, but I think things will level out once she's actually in college and you still at home. Oftentimes we worry about something until it actually happens, and then boom, you realize it's actually not that bad.

Also, did you try setting up a schedule to call/video call her while she's in college? I know people who called their parents once a week or every other day or whatever. I think it helped them to stay in touch once they had a regular schedule.
 
I am sure she will know that you are there for her and that you have her best interests at heart
 
Friendly mother advice on boys. I know I sound .... But read social like he wants to go to his apartment for cup of tea, but that's not what he thinks.
Just saying some girls run away boys n others I've just heard of aspie girls who need coaching to say what meant was not no but politely want to go home

Not a lot of people want to discuss this, like teenage girlie meltdowns, social pressure and research about boys

Other than that, as parents we must at times let go...let them make mistakes and live own life. I hope you have awesome time at college, all best
 
I felt inclined to briefly provide my experience in college, which was many years ago, and didn't end well. I've never liked asking for help, and in that first semester I really needed it. There was a support system all around me, including friends, family, and what was provided by the school, but I didn't let anyone know of my struggles. I don't know how common that is with ND's, but regardless, keep that dialog open and honest.
 
I'm just wondering, how are things going for your daughter at college? And last year you mentioned that you tried to finance everything, did that work out?
 
I'm just wondering, how are things going for your daughter at college? And last year you mentioned that you tried to finance everything, did that work out?
Well, to be honest it's been tough. She does have a 2000 dollar gap between what financial aid will cover and what we have to cover each semester. It's been tough. But we've managed.
 
Oh I should have elaborated as well.

She's doing well in her classes. Everything is B's and above. She's joined a couple clubs, met the other geeky kids, and is going to a fancy dance on a cruise ship soon.

She struggles a bit when it comes to social stuff, I think, and needs respite in the form of alone time, but also craves time with her friends.

I'm proud of her.
 
Sometimes when they go thru struggles, they are more prepared for the rest of their life. My daughter has decided to pursue her master's. I guess homeschool route does work? Who knew? Lol
 
Parents who have been through this with your children, what did you do? How did you cope? How was your life after your children moved away? How did you stay in touch? What kind of life events happened after that? Were you lonely? How did you deal with that? Did the pride of knowing they were successful overtake the sadness of them going away?
You have to go through a bit of a grieving process. I am just winging it.
I am still not sure what to do with myself now that there are no more kids to "boss around." ;)

I have a ward daughter at home and two sons who visit periodically, but the rest are in the wind.
 

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