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Share good puns and jokes.

Three-Legged Chicken​
A man was driving along the motorway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 60 mph. He accelerated to 70, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, but the chicken overtook him.

Then the man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken, speeding all the way, and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens on the farm had three legs.

When he spotted the farmer he asked him, "Where did you get these chickens?"

The farmer replied "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire."

The man was impressed and asked him how they tasted.
The farmer said, "Don't know, I haven't caught one yet."
full
--Ronald Reagan
 
crewlucaa_ said:
If I ever get married, if my husband leaves his crap everywhere and expects me to do all the work, the only magic will be me making my ring disappear :D
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You'll soon have him walking to heel. He should pass basic obedience quite quickly, men are very trainable and willing to work hard for treats. ;)
 
maycontainthunder said:
You'll soon have him walking to heel. He should pass basic obedience quite quickly, men are very trainable and willing to work hard for treats. ;)
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ROFL, @maycontainthunder! :grin:

This also tangentially reminds me of the old joke: How are men like paving bricks?

If you lay them properly, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Very nasty and outrageous, I know, which is why it's extra funny - I mean, who would do that? It's a bit like my favourite site for music jokes. They're so mean...they leave you breathless!
 
Callistemon said:
ROFL, @maycontainthunder! :grin:

This also tangentially reminds me of the old joke: How are men like paving bricks?

If you lay them properly, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Very nasty and outrageous, I know, which is why it's extra funny - I mean, who would do that? It's a bit like my favourite site for music jokes. They're so mean...they leave you breathless!
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I forgot to say. If the treats don't work and they won't settle simply hold up a powertool. Be careful though, they can jump quite high as this can over-excite them.
 
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