Seriously, there is one type of person I have come to hate in NT and mental health circles.

[Metalhead]

I am certain many of you know the type.

The kind of person who willingly and knowingly violates the boundaries of everybody around them, and when anybody calls this person out on it, they will be like, “Oh, I have mental illness or autism, so nothing I do is my own fault!”

The kind of people who enable this line of thinking are just as evil.

I have known too many people who go through life like this, and they know exactly what they are doing.

 

[Alexej]

“Oh, I have mental illness or autism, so nothing I do is my own fault!”

I recently heard the phrase, Autism is not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

I like that sentiment.

 

[Metalhead]

I recently heard the phrase, Autism is not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

I like that sentiment.

Oh, I am talking specifically about people who I have to keep reinforcing my boundaries with, only for them to keep violating my boundaries repeatedly, and when I call them on it, they are like, "It's not my fault, nothing is my fault, you're being an ablest asshole for saying your boundaries should be respected!"

 

[TBRS1]

Sometimes the healthiest thing a person can do is show their back as they walk away.

Being mentally imperfect is not the exception - it is the norm.

I've NEVER met anybody who DID NOT have mental issues.

Some of them I can tolerate, some of them I can't.

 

[Shamar]

I am certain many of you know the type.

The kind of person who willingly and knowingly violates the boundaries of everybody around them, and when anybody calls this person out on it, they will be like, “Oh, I have mental illness or autism, so nothing I do is my own fault!”

The kind of people who enable this line of thinking are just as evil.

I have known too many people who go through life like this, and they know exactly what they are doing.

I know exactly what you mean. I suspect many of these people are not autistic or ADHD, but simply claiming it to use as an excuse. I have never blamed my autism or ADHD for my failures or mistakes. I simply state "I failed" and proceed to rectify the problem.

On another forum, there was an account of a man who claimed autism and "couldn't understand social boundaries." He picked one woman in the office and kept touching her breasts, even after being told "NO!" multiple times. One day he grabbed her from behind and tried to sexually assault her. It turned out he had a history of this at other jobs. I seriously doubt he was autistic. If he was cognizant enough to work at an office, he was cognizant enough to understand "no" and social boundaries.

 

[Metalhead]

I know exactly what you mean. I suspect many of these people are not autistic or ADHD, but simply claiming it to use as an excuse. I have never blamed my autism or ADHD for my failures or mistakes. I simply state "I failed" and proceed to rectify the problem.

On another forum, there was an account of a man who claimed autism and "couldn't understand social boundaries." He picked one woman in the office and kept touching her breasts, even after being told "NO!" multiple times. One day he grabbed her from behind and tried to sexually assault her. It turned out he had a history of this at other jobs. I seriously doubt he was autistic. If he was cognizant enough to work at an office, he was cognizant enough to understand "no" and social boundaries.

Yeah, I bet a guy like that would be very popular in prison. Sorry, I have zero empathy for him.

 

[Luca]

I think using anything as an excuse for bad behavior, is just more bad behavior.

 

[Outdated]

On another forum, there was an account of a man who claimed autism and "couldn't understand social boundaries." He picked one woman in the office and kept touching her breasts, even after being told "NO!" multiple times. One day he grabbed her from behind and tried to sexually assault her. It turned out he had a history of this at other jobs. I seriously doubt he was autistic. If he was cognizant enough to work at an office, he was cognizant enough to understand "no" and social boundaries.

Here that sort of carry on would get him arrested in the interests of public safety.

 

[Metalhead]

Yeah, I used to deal with one person in my life who I constantly had to remind about my personal and legal boundaries. This person, I believe, got off on doing every single thing I explicitly told her not to do or not to keep doing, and when I called her out on it, she responded by claiming I was being a jerk, I should accommodate her mental illnesses and stop being ableist.

After I cut her out of my life a decade ago, I still often hear from my mother that she wonders if this woman killed herself after I made it clear to her I was done with her games. She got the message after she went to my payee and then lied to her by saying it’s OK, give her a check for $100, I told her to tell the payee to do it. This was after I told the payee everything this woman was up to. I recently heard about this and about how she moved out of state because she burned every bridge imaginable here. She then got banned from this payee’s office for verbally abusing the woman for sticking to her guns and telling her, haha no, you’re breaking the law.

 

[JayLapointe]

I am certain many of you know the type.

The kind of person who willingly and knowingly violates the boundaries of everybody around them, and when anybody calls this person out on it, they will be like, “Oh, I have mental illness or autism, so nothing I do is my own fault!”

The kind of people who enable this line of thinking are just as evil.

I have known too many people who go through life like this, and they know exactly what they are doing.

Honestly ever since seeing a child with cerebral palsy making fun of a kid with down's syndrome I realized one thing big time. Having a mental disability does not preclude one from any sort of vile behavior, be it not acknowledging boundaries, or gaslighting that they can do no wrong because "I have X condition". Assholes just come in all shapes and sizes, and mental capacities too.

 

[vergil96]

This person, I believe, got off on doing every single thing I explicitly told her not to do or not to keep doing, and when I called her out on it, she responded by claiming I was being a jerk, I should accommodate her mental illnesses and stop being ableist.

Yeah, that's the worst behaviour. I didn't come across it with mental health as an excuse, but other excuses: you're such a nag, you're stressing too much, just chill out, you're making it up, you're being aggressive (to tell someone not to actively cross my boundaries, yes).

I recently heard about this and about how she moved out of state because she burned every bridge imaginable here. She then got banned from this payee’s office for verbally abusing the woman for sticking to her guns and telling her, haha no, you’re breaking the law.

Unfortunately, the scenarios I've seen played out in favour of the abusive people. They seem to always land on their feet, they seem liked, they seem to still have friends (flying monkeys?) and partners, they have jobs. It seems like people cover them, because they're afraid of the outbursts - but why aren't they afraid of other people bursting out over and over again at the toxic person? It's beyond me. Maybe they gather people similar in character next to themselves, but more timid? What makes me wonder is why there is so much of that everywhere. I lose hope in humankind...

 

[Mary Terry]

I know exactly what you mean. I suspect many of these people are not autistic or ADHD, but simply claiming it to use as an excuse. I have never blamed my autism or ADHD for my failures or mistakes. I simply state "I failed" and proceed to rectify the problem.

On another forum, there was an account of a man who claimed autism and "couldn't understand social boundaries." He picked one woman in the office and kept touching her breasts, even after being told "NO!" multiple times. One day he grabbed her from behind and tried to sexually assault her. It turned out he had a history of this at other jobs. I seriously doubt he was autistic. If he was cognizant enough to work at an office, he was cognizant enough to understand "no" and social boundaries.

Maybe. My autistic nephew kept ogling women and trying to touch them in places like grocery stores. One day, he touched the rear end of a woman in a store, and she whirled around and slapped him so hard that he bounced on his butt across the floor with a look of shock on his face. He never did that again but he still stares at women in a most disconcerting way. My brother/his father just said thank god the woman didn't press criminal assault and battery charges or sue them for nephew's touching her. Some people on the spectrum really don't understand the boundaries of physical contact between the sexes.

 

[tkcartoonist]

I hate when people use the excuse of mental illness/autism as an excuse to be a jerk. A few years ago on another forum I'm on, I ran into someone like that who was upsetting the entire site, and it got to the point that I did not hold back when he started making excuses for his behavior.

Boo ******* hoo. So do a lot of other people here, myself included. You aren't special. The only thing special about you is how much of a condescending ***** you are. Well, here it is right back. I'm done with you.

Suffice to say, this behavior is one of my major triggering pet peeves.

 

[Jonn]

I recently heard the phrase, Autism is not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

I like that sentiment.

I very much like this post, too.

 

[Jonn]

Sometimes the healthiest thing a person can do is show their back as they walk away.

That is my policy.
I walk away from trouble.

Being mentally imperfect is not the exception - it is the norm.

I've NEVER met anybody who DID NOT have mental issues.

Agreed.
I have never met a "normal" person before.

Some of them I can tolerate, some of them I can't.

I think I can tolerate just about anyone these days.
"Me (emotionally) strong like bull", now.
The quirkier or more damaged, the more interesting.
After all, one of my special interests is human psychology.

I don't own other people's problems.
I study them.

 

[Jonn]

Honestly ever since seeing a child with cerebral palsy making fun of a kid with down's syndrome I realized one thing big time. Having a mental disability does not preclude one from any sort of vile behavior, be it not acknowledging boundaries, or gaslighting that they can do no wrong because "I have X condition". Assholes just come in all shapes and sizes, and mental capacities too.

I have a different view of the world.
I factor in intrusive thoughts to a large degree.

Personally speaking, I think we are less responsible for our actions than we realise, IF we are unaware of the influences around us.

I may sound cryptic, but experience has taught me that most ppl "Can't handle the Truth", and so it is pointless to engage in an open and in-depth discussion with them.
What can you do? <shrug>

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