Separation Anxiety And The 22-Year Old Aspie

[UberScout]

How do you guys deal with being separated from family for long periods of time? I'm a nest dweller and probably will be until 25, so I'm used to being around fam every day. My mom's a taxi driver and often has to spend the whole day working, depending on the situation. Likewise, while they work out housing opportunities, at which point I will happily rejoin them, I have sought refuge at a shelter. (It was purely choice of free will, my idea.)

However, my anxiety slapped me across the forehead with a swordfish two days ago because that day, she had to spend the entire 24 hours working. A typical "busy day" Okay, I get that, that's understandable; you don't work, you don't make money. However, there is a system about this work pattern, which I scientifically refer to as "The Taxi Driver's Cognitive Subtraction Conundrum"; for every day that's %100 busy and requires the maximum amount of physical energy or exertion to work, the next day subsequently following requires the worker to seek refuge somewhere and rest for the same amount of time it took them to work, so they can regain the energy they need to work again. There is one thing that makes this equation/effect hard to solve according to determining how long it takes; the amount of time you need to sleep/rest changes according to natural occurrences, yet the maximum amount of time you need to rest stays the same regarding the time it takes to work a full work day. It sort of relates to the Fibonacci sequence.

TL;DR: I didn't see my parents the whole day yesterday. Brain no like parent not there.

 

[Mr Allen]

I know they're on the other end of the phone.

I know Dad never answers his mobile, but they're always on the Landline.

 

[UberScout]

Hmmm....

I've seen you reply to my posts a lot...

Are you a celebrity?

 

[Nervous Rex]

There have been times when I would get all wound up or anxious and want desperately to talk to [X], who is good at "talking me down off the ledge". I've actually had some pretty good success by asking myself "If X was here, what would they say?". When I can't talk to the person, I imagine a conversation with them. I know what calming or reasonable things X would say, so I say them to myself.

Curiously, it's not just the "What would X do" exercise that helps - the mental exercise of imagining the conversion is actually somewhat therapeutic for me, too.

Feel free to read this as, "Rex holds court with the voices in his head."

 

[UberScout]

For me, it goes like this:

Me: Bye mom I'm going to the library
Mom: Okay we'll pick you up at 11
[Two sessions later after maxing out today's library card limit]
Me: That was fun mutilating dolls on Kongregate, where's mom?
[An hour later, downtown bell rings]
Me: They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine and you just can't get into it because they would never understand

 

[SusanLR]

For me, it goes like this:

Me: Bye mom I'm going to the library
Mom: Okay we'll pick you up at 11
[Two sessions later after maxing out today's library card limit]
Me: That was fun mutilating dolls on Kongregate, where's mom?
[An hour later, downtown bell rings]
Me: They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine and you just can't get into it because they would never understand

Mine may not have understood, but, they accepted it and
were always there if I needed them.
Even when we weren't together, just knowing we would soon be, kept feeling alone at bay.
Now they are gone forever and every morning I wake up and think of them knowing it's another day to face on my own, feeling alone.

 

[Raisedbywolves]

I'm terribly lonely. I need to have one relative nearby at all times in case I need a hug. But the paradox is that I'm nervous around people and I prefer to spend time alone.

It's so hard being lonely, but I can't bear social situations.

I love my family so very much.