((SensitiveTopic)) Past Bully

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Mia & Neo-Natal, as well as everyone else, thank you. Am inspired to redouble my efforts especially with those who drip-fed me half truths for many years.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

I agree with OP about the huge harm that is done by uncalled for sexual talk - these children obviously learned it from adults.

When I was 14 bad teachers said uncalled for sexual things to the whole class and that wasn't "sex education".

It is true. Teachers and other adults can be awful. I remember a school bus driver looking at a teenage girl in a skirt and saying “it’s no wonder these young girls get raped”.

 

[Metalhead]

I recently decided to let go of the bullies I had the unpleasant experience of being exposed to in the past by praying for them - they are clearly not happy and well-adjusted individuals if that is how they behave in their lives. No, not excusing what they are doing at all, not letting them off the hook, but letting it go is certainly better for my mental health than sitting with the frustration of not being able to change the people around me.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I have been having flash backs to past bullying. When I was at school these boys repeatedly made comments such as “spaz” and “retard” and asked “if and how I fingered myself and what would happen if my finger was to dislocate” since I had ‘deformed’ hands. I keep thinking about this lately and can’t get it out of my head what should I do.

Know that the people who bullied you were victim of other bullies and that is why they bullied you.
I have thought about my bullies and talked with people I used to go to school with, they had rough childhoods but hid this. One ended up in jail.
One bully from my school never apologised but when I put on fb that I was depressed this bully was really kind to me (not being able to say sorry but it seems they remembered me and offered to drive me to thier house to look after me, like a round about way of saying sorry)

 

[Gracey]

I have been having flash backs to past bullying. When I was at school these boys repeatedly made comments such as “spaz” and “retard” and asked “if and how I fingered myself and what would happen if my finger was to dislocate” since I had ‘deformed’ hands. I keep thinking about this lately and can’t get it out of my head what should I do.

Ask yourself if they're correct?
Do you agree with their comments?
Or were their comments full of inaccuracies?

Do you have a different opinion of yourself that comes from knowing yourself and capabilities far better than those boys?
Do you disagree with their comments?

One persons opinion doesn't equate to a universal truth.
We don't have to believe what we hear if we know it to be incorrect.

 

[Soleil]

I was mostly bullied in middle school. I usually wasn't called any specific word; it tended to be general taunts, like "Why do you even come to school if you don't have any friends", or whether my genitals were as bad as my face.

Unfortunately I can't really offer any advice other than maybe going to friends for support (not that I had any then), or to family (not that mine seemed to care). It still upsets me sometimes, decades later (ah, now I feel old, too).

Nothing much to be done about it now that's in the past though; just talk to friends and watch silly cat videos, I guess.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

I was mostly bullied in middle school. I usually wasn't called any specific word; it tended to be general taunts, like "Why do you even come to school if you don't have any friends", or whether my genitals were as bad as my face.

Unfortunately I can't really offer any advice other than maybe going to friends for support (not that I had any then), or to family (not that mine seemed to care). It still upsets me sometimes, decades later (ah, now I feel old, too).

Nothing much to be done about it now that's in the past though; just talk to friends and watch silly cat videos, I guess.

I’m sorry about that. The cat videos are excellent advice though.

 

[Nick12]

i was verry verry verry lucky i ony had on kid that bulled me in school her name was april and when she bulled me i went to a teacher for help yay me

 

[Gift2humanity]

I have been having flash backs to past bullying. When I was at school these boys repeatedly made comments such as “spaz” and “retard” and asked “if and how I fingered myself and what would happen if my finger was to dislocate” since I had ‘deformed’ hands. I keep thinking about this lately and can’t get it out of my head what should I do.

You could journal, keep a dream diary, know that bullies have low self esteem and pick on people they know have low self esteem.

When I was a kid I used to get called names about my spectacles. They were out with the kids in my school with spectacles but they never got picked on. They never got picked on because they had self-esteem. The bullies knew that I was bothered about my spectacles and the kids who won't but they were left alone.

All the motions are blocked energy that need processing and discharging. You will feel better when you have done this. You could look online for information about how to process all the pain from bullying. It helped me to know that it was my low self-esteem that caused me to be bullied and this looks like a an instruction to increase my self esteem.