Self-destructive/ harming behaviors?

[nyxjord]

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum.. Move if appropriate. Anyway, is anyone else like this? Recently I've been very stressed and overwhelmed with school. In particular, I have this calculus class that I just don't understand no matter how hard I try. Anyway, I obsess about it and try to figure out how I'm going to pass it. I think it's causing me to be angry and take it out on every little thing. For example, if my phone mis types something, I'll pound my phone against a wall or the ground. If something touches me without warning me first, I'll hit that thing till it breaks or my hand hurts. Now I've not been like this for many many years, when I was a child. If something would make me angry or frustrated, I would bite the top of my hand. Now I don't think I have serious anger issues (even though it sounds like I do). I just have so much going on that I'm almost reverting back to how I acted as a very small child. Any ideas how I can curb this destructive behavior or deal with issues so that I'm not so stressed that every little thing pushes me over the edge?

 

[ASD_Geek]

I do that a little bit, but not until I break something. if I get to a point where I'm really frustrated, I'll hit myself in the head.

Have you thought about carrying around a figit toy or stress ball?

 

[nyxjord]

Is what I described considered a melt down? I had always just thought that I had shutdowns but now that I think about what I just typed.... Anyway, how do we stop it or relieve the stressor?

 

[Progster]

I used to have huge frustration issues with my computer, because at one point the UPS stopped working properly and as soon as there was a blackout or any fluctuation in power, my PC would crash. There's nothing more annoying than to be typing a post like this one and wham, I'm staring at a black screen. Generally I have a low frustration threshold and I'm prone to frustration meltdowns, though I try to prevent things from getting that far. I've been known to damage equipment because I've kicked it or hit it - not a good idea. I know that it's very hard to stop these kinds of feelings once they start, so I try to prevent them from happening in the first place by removing the source of frustration where possible. For example, I saved up and bought a new UPS as soon as possible, now this problem is solved, and no more frustration.

 

[Warmheart]

Yes, self-injurious behavior is familiar. We seem to experience overwhelm, and the stress chemicals in our body increase levels until we detonate. (meltdown) Also, awareness of those levels of stress chemicals rising makes us uncomfortable (to put it mildly!), so we bite our hand, bang out head, slam fists and feet into the floor, etc. (self-injurious behaviors) until the sensations caused by those rising stress chemical levels dissipates.

Meltdowns-- What makes you meltdown-prone? Being tired, hungry (BIG trigger in adults!), changes in plans, your expectations not being met, sensory overload can all contribute long before the trigger-event happens. So, make sure you get adequate rest.
Be certain that you have enough food in you (especially when walking or active).
Learn a calming strategy (Zen sitting meditation is great!), a right-now-remedy for stressful situations. This will be a lifelong investment, with treatment benefits being wonderfully cumulative.

Become more mindful of your body's signals. Make it a habit to listen to the signals and feelings your body is giving you. I am learning this now. D'oh!

Ditch the denial, so you can vote with your feet. Know when to bail on a situation that's simply overwhelming. There's no shame in catching a flip-out before it manifests, and getting the heck outta Dodge. My denial is strong. My stubborn "I got this!" means I need to admit I'm gonna blow it and I need to hightail it outta there.

In addition to greater awareness and calming strategies, manage your body to have fewer meltdowns.
Exercise helps! Walking, hiking, running, whatever gets your proprioceptive, vestibular senses all happy.
Have a daily mindfulness practice like T'ai Chi or Zen sitting meditation. This eases up our emotional dysregulation.

Please be patient with yourself right now. That calculus class sounds challenging! Also, if you're in your early 20s or younger, hormones can add to our inner hoopla and make us more sensitive to meltdowns. With age and learning some great coping skills to add to your totally kick-butt Aspie tool kit, things will get easier.

 

[Tom]

Yes, I have impulses like that. In the past I might have taken it out on the poor inanimate object. But I didn't think of them as meltdowns, but more as overloads. I think of it as the extra-stress using up all your normal patience and so when just one more thing happens... you pop a cork.

The above idea to try and reduce the stress wearing you down is good. If you can. Sometimes you can't. In your case the difficult class seems a main contributor. One idea is to be proactive and rather then just wait it out and see what happens talk to your instructor or a counselor about it. Maybe there are options like tutor assist or perhaps even withdrawing.

But in any case, next time it happens try and use your reason and logic. You know what is happening and why and might be able to talk yourself down, before you physically vent.

Taking an extra walk or some other physical thing might also help relieve some of the pent up tension.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I don't usually consider mine a meltdown or even a snap. I consider them a warning sign that things could be potentially a lot worse if the irritation in question doesn't straighten up. One reason why I hate those glass/screen doors. The freakin' hydraulic lever or whatever it is always times it so I get a kidney shot before the door gets open. I'm happy to say I haven't broken glass yet, but I've potentially warped some hinges. And I've got a handful of scars on my feet trying to hold the evil things open to protect my kidneys. I wish those things were banned or came with a different arm.

 

[nyxjord]

What about when I always always always feel stressed or when I can't relieve tension? For example, it seems like if I just grit my teeth together and close myself almost, I can make the anger/frustration start in a flash- it never goes away or anything... Always there bubbling under the surface. What are ways to make it go away? Even just thinking about it makes me flip when something goes wrong (mis type on phone)...
And then once I do start hitting that thing or whatever, I can't stop. I've broken cell phone screens because it's so bad.

 

[Tom]

What about when I always always always feel stressed or when I can't relieve tension? For example, it seems like if I just grit my teeth together and close myself almost, I can make the anger/frustration start in a flash- it never goes away or anything... Always there bubbling under the surface. What are ways to make it go away? Even just thinking about it makes me flip when something goes wrong (mis type on phone)...
And then once I do start hitting that thing or whatever, I can't stop. I've broken cell phone screens because it's so bad.

If it was me, at that point I would talk to the doctor about it. There certainly are points, and I have reached them, where something is going on that is beyond my ability to manage just with thought processes or exercise, etc. I know it is likely due to multiple things but it has always helped me to think of it more simply in chemical terms. Something is eventually resulting in a chemical imbalance in the brain, flooding a certain area, or feeling, in an overpowering way. With me it was anxiety, I could with part of my mind think this is ridiculus but the anxiety was too strong, very physilogical. It is almost as if it takes on a life of its own. Thats a crappy place to be, whether with anxiety, or anger, or whatever.

These things are usually professionally treatable however and it is a very likely possibility you are not stuck with that response. It means doctors and maybe meds, and thats not a thing one likes to do, but that is what they do, help people with conditions/imbalances. Meds in particular many are resistant to. I was a bit myself. But not anymore, not after experiencing what they can do and that they did not steal my mind or personality and turn me into the Muffin man. And we are in a period of 3rd and 4th generation meds, and many have little or no side effects. It always seems to come to a choice. What is better: to live with the problem as is, or accept the downside of being on medications.

 

[nyxjord]

That's true... I just don't have insurance so I would have to pay for everything out of pocket-which could be very expensive so I've been hesitant to see a doctor. Do they have specific meds for anger type of things?

 

[Emya]

I was involved in self harm for quite a while. I also took my anger out on various objects. I saw a doctor to help with my self harm, and am on medication now. It's helped quite a bit.

 

[Tom]

That's true... I just don't have insurance so I would have to pay for everything out of pocket-which could be very expensive so I've been hesitant to see a doctor. Do they have specific meds for anger type of things?

They have some they use, mostly in the anti-depressant group, but there do not appear to be specific anti-anger medications. What you describe however may not be just an anger issue, but be something resulting from another underlying condition, in addition to the HFA, such as anxiety, or ADHD, etc. And if so, those can have specific medications. If you do an internet search on anger outburst medications there are many sites which discuss the possibilities.

So I think the primary thing at this point is to get a good medical evaluation for it that looks at what may be causing it.

Despite the new Obamacare program many people, particularly young people are still without health insurrance because Obamacare is still too expensive. But there are programs designed to help people in your situation. I have a family member, who working thru the state has an expensive drug paid for by the state (Cymbalta) because they are not covered by a plan and are not currently working. But it takes some digging to find out what is there, and perhaps a visit or two to the appropriate agencies. You might not get all expenses covered but might be able to make it feasible. Visits to a Psychologist do not have to be terribly expensive if paid out of pocket. I can't remember exactly but think it was in the $100-120 range.

 

[nowwhat]

Many of us have difficulty dealing with frustration, and then take it out on inanimate objects, it seems. As a kid, I was ruefully called, "breakstuff". I have developed more self control through the natural processes of maturing and experiencing life. Sometimes, tho, I just want to f**king smash some object to its atoms. Very rarely, after giving it some thought, I still do.

 

[watersprite]

I am like that too. I still have self destructive habits such as chewing my nails, but the smashing things impulse has been somewhat tamed. It has taken many years and now I rarely act on it. I still feel it sometimes, and that feeling is a warning to change what I am doing or get myself out of the room immediately. For example

Spoiler

It is not a good thing to stack up several dozen paintings, rip them up and put thee pieces in the woodstove.

 

[Lena_C]

I also chew & peel my fingers(not only the nails)

 

[Cerulean]

I have the same problem, I usually find something hard to hit my hand on, like a wall or table. Last time was about a month ago and it's still bruised. The physical pain just helps me calm down really quickly, it's like flipping a switch.

 

[Tia Maria]

That's true... I just don't have insurance so I would have to pay for everything out of pocket-which could be very expensive so I've been hesitant to see a doctor. Do they have specific meds for anger type of things?

Tom is right that there are programs to help low income people without insurance pay for necessary medicines. I would start with a regular doctor or maybe a psychiatrist - you can call their offices in advance to find out how much a consult appointment costs without insurance. A regular doctor visit is around $68-100; & no more than $200. See what a doctor recommends. If a medication is prescribed tell the doctor that you have no insurance & ask if there is anything they know about or can do to help you. Sometimes there are special programs or a less expensive alternative available.

Tom is exactly right about all this, "These things are usually professionally treatable however and it is a very likely possibility you are not stuck with that response. It means doctors and maybe meds, and thats not a thing one likes to do, but that is what they do, help people with conditions/imbalances. Meds in particular many are resistant to. I was a bit myself. But not anymore, not after experiencing what they can do and that they did not steal my mind or personality and turn me into the Muffin man. And we are in a period of 3rd and 4th generation meds, and many have little or no side effects. It always seems to come to a choice. What is better: to live with the problem as is, or accept the downside of being on medications."

The other stress relievers & proactive anxiety reducers listed above by Warmheart, Tom & others are great lifestyle recommendations which should also be incorporated as much as feasibly possible along with any medications. I say as much as feasibly possible, BUT really, what is more important than one's health? And these recommendations make for a healthy lifestyle so maybe we should all consider them a necessary priority.

As far as the subject calculus class, I reiterate Tom's advice to speak to the instructor to request a tutor, or even drop the class if it's ultimately necessary.

Regarding tutoring, are you familiar with The Khan Academy (a world renown FREE online educational tutoring site)? Click the link below, click Subjects, Math, then select whatever calculus you are studying. Check it out as another resource if you haven't already. Khan Academy

 

[zenbutterfly]

I suffer from compulsive skin picking. Ever since I was very young.
My mother stopped me from rocking, she wasn't to know, she said " crazy people rock " and that I shouldn't.
So, I skin pick :-( haha I really wish I could stop to be honest.

 

[nyxjord]

Zenbutterfly, if I can ask, what do you pick? I always pick the inner sides of my thumbs till I have to cover it with a bandaid because it's bleeding.

 

[Whatisknown]

I just don't do that thing, which is super self harming. I basically just give myself the middle finger.