Self-Change

[danielcollins]

I wasn't really sure where to put this post as I don't think It fits in any of the categories that are available.

We all know that aspie's struggle with change, but my query is - do you struggle with change when you initiate it? I.E. I am, at the moment trying to initiate some self change to my life:

- Lose some weight & change my eating habits
- Study more work related topics
- I'm stopping eating meat (pescatarian)
- Do some more self-study
- Read more
- Make some big long-term plans about where I want to live (I want to move at least 200 miles away)

These are all things that I want to do, that I want to positively change in my life. But, I'm still finding it very difficult making changes to my life even if I initiate them. There's been times in the past that I've been so fedup that change comes easy but that's not usually until things are in a pretty bad place - I can't really afford to let things get that bad again.

So I have (luckily) today off and I'm going to write a life plan to help me visualise my goals and set targets to achieve what I want. I'd be interested if anyone has any tips on helping me ease into change?

 

[The Penguin]

I say just tackle one goal at a time. You can make it more fun to reward your self each time you complete a goal. Some goals will be harder than others. Key thing is not to give up.

 

[TragicKingdom]

Change can be very difficult in any circumstance.

Recently (In the past year or so), I have been undergoing change(s). I have not initiated them - They came from God and for my own good. It is too much to explain here but it is a positive, spiritual process (Although it can be painful while going through it).

This short Facebook quote, below, explains the part of this process, briefly, by a Pastor named Timothy Keller, if anyone should be interested in what I am referring to:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=644378822268674

 

[AsheSkyler]

Ease into it gradually. In example, start off by making one of your daily meals smaller than usual and walking more before getting it all the way up to the level you want and maybe reading a chapter each day, rather than doing 20 reps on every body part and cutting off meat cold turkey (no pun intended) and tearing through a book series each week.

 

[danielcollins]

Change can be very difficult in any circumstance.

Recently (In the past year or so), I have been undergoing change(s). I have not initiated them - They came from God and for my own good. It is too much to explain here but it is a positive, spiritual process (Although it can be painful while going through it).

This short Facebook quote, below, explains the part of this process, briefly, by a Pastor named Timothy Keller, if anyone should be interested in what I am referring to:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=644378822268674

Thanks - that is actually very inspiring! I have today plastered my house with corny motivational messages.. I have a tendency to quickly forget why I started something, so I won't allow that to happen!

 

[Suzanne]

I think when there is a lot of self changing to do, it can be as bad, as suddenly change from outside influences.

My biggest change is to become more mobile. I have a chance to drive a car that does not need a license but the conditions to getting to that point, are frightening and so, I have to think of one step at a time.

I cannot remember the name, but there are two ways, that these cars work by. One is automatic and the other is as a ride on lawn mower; so my husband has put forward an offer and immediately I saw that if I want this, I have to go along with this. It means going back to our hold house and I have to tell you, I have a hatred for that area of France ( where we live). I did not want to live there in the first place, but had no choice and so, for 12 year's put up with it and now that I am in a different part, I really HATE the thought of going back, but in order to prove my weight, I have to go back. This is because rightly so, my husband wants me to use his ride on lawn mower, to cut the grass which will get me used to how to drive it and when I feel comfortable, we will hire a car for the day and if I prove that I can do it, then at the end, he may buy me one of these little cars. Rather amusingly, I noticed that one type of car is very close to the Jaguar that I have always found to be a very sexy car lol

So, take one goal at a time, as Penguin excellently suggested and bon courage

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I've found it helpful to leverage 'seasons' or periods to graft in new behaviors. Ie, for Lent, I cut red meat out entirely. It's 40 days. Long enough to start 'setting' a habit, short enough to just put up with it and exert some will, knowing that the period will end.

Similarly, I also find it easier to go cold turkey for some things that are compulsive. If I can't stop, then I can't start. That has helped some of the eating issues. Gradual adoption works well for physical exercise, for me.

 

[danielcollins]

I've found it helpful to leverage 'seasons' or periods to graft in new behaviors. Ie, for Lent, I cut red meat out entirely. It's 40 days. Long enough to start 'setting' a habit, short enough to just put up with it and exert some will, knowing that the period will end.

Similarly, I also find it easier to go cold turkey for some things that are compulsive. If I can't stop, then I can't start. That has helped some of the eating issues. Gradual adoption works well for physical exercise, for me.

Yep.. that's pretty much all I know how to do. When I stopped smoking I stopped dead.. last time I lost some weight I made some drastic changes and did a "Like it or lump it" moment.

I wish I could do things gradually, but I just feel like thing don't progress fast enough and end up feeling a sense of failure. My weight wouldn't be an issue if I could genuinely do "moderation"..

One extreme to the other!

 

[AsheSkyler]

Yep.. that's pretty much all I know how to do. When I stopped smoking I stopped dead.. last time I lost some weight I made some drastic changes and did a "Like it or lump it" moment.

I wish I could do things gradually, but I just feel like thing don't progress fast enough and end up feeling a sense of failure. My weight wouldn't be an issue if I could genuinely do "moderation"..

One extreme to the other!

How about one extreme at a time then?

I am horrible at pacing when it comes to exercise. I made a chart. I read up on the general guidelines for increasing, wrote out on my chart when I was to increase difficulty, and stuck to it. Until the freakin' time change and I'm too sleepy to do much of anything until I can adjust again.

 

[danielcollins]

How about one extreme at a time then?

I am horrible at pacing when it comes to exercise. I made a chart. I read up on the general guidelines for increasing, wrote out on my chart when I was to increase difficulty, and stuck to it. Until the freakin' time change and I'm too sleepy to do much of anything until I can adjust again.

Yup.. that's what I've started doing, I've made a couple of big changes this year which have stuck. But I'm doing one of them at a time (at least until I feel like the change has now become my habit). I suppose I have to learn to set myself my own intermediary goals.

 

[danielcollins]

I'm still struggling at the moment, although I'm having another reboot tomorrow so here's hoping I can commit to the change long term.

I'm being positive and focusing on a fresh start, rather than how many times I've failed. I'm also going to try people's suggestions about habitualise my change and try and treat it like a ritual. This worked for me in the past, but only when I've been hell bent on change.

Wish me luck.

 

[kris]

I made a bunch of excel spreadsheets to outline goals, both personal goals and money saving goals, before I quit my job 2 years ago. I definitely think that made a huge difference for me. writing stuff down helps.