Hi, new to the forum, not entirely sure if I’m posting this on the correct forum or even in the correct place but any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. I’m British, married to a Chinese lady living together in China. As mentioned in the title, I’ve joined the forum to get an insight in some possible ways to help my in laws.
I first met my brother in law 5 years ago when he was around 13 years old, according to my wife, he’d displayed social problems, had strict daily routines and some irrational fears (ie. he’s terrified of people eating fish nearby him in case a bone somehow ends up in his food and he chokes, therefore would have to eat meals at home alone and would barely eat when out.) He had his quirks but would interact with my wife and myself as much as he was comfortable and would regularly leave the house.
Shortly after this, he point blank refused to go to school again, and no matter how much convincing, coercing and even force from his father, he never returned. Since then, there’s been a steady decline in every aspect of his behavior over the past couple of years, his parents tried to seek medical help for him but to no avail, I fear the autistic spectrum as a whole is not anywhere near as fully understood in China, the doctors basically said he just suffers with anxiety.
It’s reached the point where now, at 18 years old, he refuses to leave his room at all, I now haven’t seen him for 2 years even though I visit the home regularly. He only eats one meal every other day which has to be prepared and served by his mother or he doesn’t trust it. Avoids all social interactions entirely. He has a bucket in his bedroom which he uses as a toilet which has to be emptied regularly. He needs to be bathed by his mother but is extremely paranoid about germs and hygiene so it takes an hour everyday just to even wash his face. He is extremely aggressive towards his mother although, hasn’t showed any violence for years. In the past couple of months he has began talking without opening his mouth and simply mumbling/humming. There are many other symptoms, too many to list them all right now.
I’m basically asking for some advice to help him as I don’t want to see the young man deteriorate even further. Aside from this, he relies solely on my mother in law to care for him, refuses anyone else, she’s now getting into her late 60’s, getting 3 hours sleep a night, unable to leave the house and starting to feel her own physical and mental health going down.
Sorry for such a long post! Any and all help us appreciated.
I first met my brother in law 5 years ago when he was around 13 years old, according to my wife, he’d displayed social problems, had strict daily routines and some irrational fears (ie. he’s terrified of people eating fish nearby him in case a bone somehow ends up in his food and he chokes, therefore would have to eat meals at home alone and would barely eat when out.) He had his quirks but would interact with my wife and myself as much as he was comfortable and would regularly leave the house.
Shortly after this, he point blank refused to go to school again, and no matter how much convincing, coercing and even force from his father, he never returned. Since then, there’s been a steady decline in every aspect of his behavior over the past couple of years, his parents tried to seek medical help for him but to no avail, I fear the autistic spectrum as a whole is not anywhere near as fully understood in China, the doctors basically said he just suffers with anxiety.
It’s reached the point where now, at 18 years old, he refuses to leave his room at all, I now haven’t seen him for 2 years even though I visit the home regularly. He only eats one meal every other day which has to be prepared and served by his mother or he doesn’t trust it. Avoids all social interactions entirely. He has a bucket in his bedroom which he uses as a toilet which has to be emptied regularly. He needs to be bathed by his mother but is extremely paranoid about germs and hygiene so it takes an hour everyday just to even wash his face. He is extremely aggressive towards his mother although, hasn’t showed any violence for years. In the past couple of months he has began talking without opening his mouth and simply mumbling/humming. There are many other symptoms, too many to list them all right now.
I’m basically asking for some advice to help him as I don’t want to see the young man deteriorate even further. Aside from this, he relies solely on my mother in law to care for him, refuses anyone else, she’s now getting into her late 60’s, getting 3 hours sleep a night, unable to leave the house and starting to feel her own physical and mental health going down.
Sorry for such a long post! Any and all help us appreciated.