• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Security objects?

Cosmophylla

Cosmophylla

(coz-MOFF-illa)
V.I.P Member
Firstly, I apologise for the possibly vague title of this thread. After writing and rewriting titles several times, this was the most succinct I could think of.


Today I became aware for the first time that I have a security object: my bag. My bag is a long-strapped, across-the-chest, cloth satchel type affair. I do not carry a "handbag" or "purse". Having to "waste" one hand by holding onto a bag seems pointless to me; I'd rather have both hands free to wrangle kids, carry things, collect plant samples. I find it supremely difficult to hold a bag while extracting my wallet and money simultaneously. Since my youth I have always used a bag that has a strap I put over my head and which crosses my chest from my left shoulder to my right hip. There have been various incarnations of the bag, most of which I sewed myself, but there have also been a couple of backpack styles with a single strap.

image.jpg


Above is my current bag. I made it from a vintage obi. Inside it is lined with denim (gotta be tough-wearing!) with lots of pockets. Must have pockets.

I take my bag everywhere when I go out, and I tend to wear it even at the few parties or gatherings I go to. I don't dump it in a corner. Without it, I feel uncomfortably light. Some people might say I feel naked without my bag. My bag is invariably filled with crap as well as a few useful things... Receipts, pens, pencils, crayons, tissues, lip balm, stones, dried up flowers and leaves, confiscated kids' toys, screws, paper clips, as well as cloth shopping bags, wallet, keys (usually kept in my pockets), mobile phone, etc.

Suddenly this morning it clicked that my bag serves as my security object when I'm out in the world. The strap across my chest is my shield, in the same way as my sunglasses are my mask. Without my bag, I feel exposed and vulnerable - that is the feeling of lightness I described - just as I feel exposed without my sunglasses to hide my eyes. I enjoy the pressure across my chest and shoulder, and the weight of the bag at my right hip. It feels safe.

This is an amazing revelation for me! And it has me wondering about whether other people have similar "shields" for when out in the world. I know there is a number of people who have blankies. How about those, and others? Do you carry or wear something? Headphones, even? For a long time I listened to music whenever I walked around, but that was before I had kids I had to cart along with me. :D

Would love to know of others' experiences. :)
 
Last edited:
My set of keys, my wallet. I had a long series of shoulder bags that were constantly with me, containing sketchbook, pencils, crayons, colored pencils and whatever else I needed for the day. For the last 15 years it has been backpacks.

Otherwise, I get by with very little.
 
For the longest time I wore a University of Michigan baseball cap. I loved this cap. I wore it everywhere. When it faded in the Saudi sun, I replaced it with another Michigan baseball cap ... and with another one after that ... until one day an NT colleague asked me why I was always wearing "that stupid hat."

I abruptly stopped ... and never wore it again.
 
Last edited:
I have a blankie. I've had it since high school.... 25years give or take. I can live without it but would rather not. I don't travel with it because the thought of losing it makes me worry..... But when I come home to sleep in my own bed it makes it that much better!!
 
Loving the Dr. Who hat and scarf Cosmophylla :)

I had a small denim bum-bag for years, with the single strap that clips around your waist. Having it and the stuff I liked to carry around made me feel more comfortable.
I made an effort to stop using it last year as I often see people look curiously at it - man-bags don't seem to be popular in the UK.
That was ok during the winter as I could keep my stuff in my coat pockets, but it's been a struggle during the summer and I've missed it.
Winter and coats are coming again soon, but I may well dig the bag out by next summer..
 
I suppose my culinary uniform is also a comforting security device. It helps me to maintain the mask that I wear to work in which I am cunningly disguised as a chef instructor, the premise being that if you look the part, you will act the part, and BE the part.

It doesn't matter that I really AM a chef and that I hold three degrees and various licenses and certificates. To me it's all about attitude and perception.

The real me is rather timid and nervous. Given a choice he would never venture outside his home ... but chef me knows no fear. Chef me wears his pristine white uniform like a suit of armor. The uniform reminds him .... me ...us ... that we are a certified (if not certifiable) and that we are a qualified, experienced, and (reasonably) talented Culinary Arts instructor.
 
Spiller said:
Loving the Dr. Who hat and scarf Cosmophylla :)
Click to expand...


Thanks. :) they are my husband's. It's nice that you recognised the scarf! The scarf I made for him a couple of years ago. The hat, which I don't think he intended to be a Tom Baker hat (but will be interested to hear when I tell him:)), he got at a milliner's in Dijon.

Spiller said:
man-bags don't seem to be popular in the UK.
Click to expand...


Yes, unfortunately man-bags aren't particularly socially "acceptable", are they? If you need the pockets, perhaps you can try a variant such as a small satchel, cargo pants/shorts, or a holster-type utility belt? I once had a bag, rather short-lived, that I bought in Japan that fits that description. Just like the belts/aprons that builders wear, but a bit cooler :D the pockets part was worn on the side.
 
My security object is my bag too as well as everything in it. It is holographic (as is my wallet) and heavy so it doubles as both a pressure and a visual stim. It allows me to carry around the things that give me comfort - books, manga, my little soft toy cow that vibrates when you pull it's tail, fluffy things, diary, stories that I am writing, putty, assorted pretty things, candy.

A secondary one is my Mp3 player. I usually can't go out in public without it. Music allows me to feel like I am hidden from all the noise and people and I can play in my head with characters from the stories I write. I feel naked and vulnerable without it.
 
I had a necklace. Chinese hanzi for "courage" strung up on some leather with a few beads. I only took it off to shower and sleep. The link on the pendant wore in two after slowly turning green over several years and now I have no idea where I've stashed it after four moves. I've found a sterling silver one online that I'll probably buy soon. It should be more durable and easier to keep clean.
 
Curious; I also feel more secure when I take my bag with me. Even if I don't need anything in it, it just feels strange to leave the house without it. This was even more the case with my backpack in high school. I would cary all of my textbooks with me at all times, so my bag was very heavy. When I went about town without it something just felt off. It took me a while to realize that I had grown so accustomed to the weight of the backpack that without it I felt ungrounded and vulnerable, like a snail without a shell, or a helium baloon without a teather.

My backpack eventually fell apart due to the great burden I placed on it. Following this I repurposed it as a vest.


As some here might know I was also very attached to a perticular dog collar. I used to spend hours every day shaking it in secret. After much effort and a couple of failed attempts I managed to part ways with my collar. Sometimes I still dream about it though.
 
My security object when I go out is my mp3 player :)

I don't have a handbag either, and if I need to carry a lot of things I use a rucksack, otherwise I just put things like keys and money in my pocket.
 
Another thing I realised when reading replies is that my arms feel strangely awkward, gangly even, without my long bag to disguise them. I do put my keys -two sets, usually: house and car- in my pockets, but I still need that companionship that my bag provides.

I used to carry more interesting things, too... Sketchbook, notebook, camera, water bottle... Have also carried baby change stuff, because I refused to use a dedicated nappy bag. :) I often have paper napkins stashed in there from cafe visits. Why waste them? :)
 
I don't have a security object but my small vinyl companion, who spends a lot of time with me, does have a small security object, which he insists is not a doll.

Az4gUdu.jpg
 
BIMOG said:
I don't have a security object but my small vinyl companion, who spends a lot of time with me, does have a small security object, which he insists is not a doll.

Az4gUdu.jpg
Click to expand...
*giggles* So what would he say if you refered to him as a doll, because he is incredibly adorable.
 
I don't understand why man-bags aren't more common. I went to an event today, and I felt it absolutely necessary to carry my keys, wallet, water bottle, hoodie, small umbrella, a book I want to reread, my iPod, my phone, my notebook, some pens, and have room for things I bought. Okay, I could have left some of that at home, but it seems like I would have needed some sort of bag-like receptacle for even some of these items, and I wasn't carrying anything particularly feminine. I just don't understand how men walk around without carrying things! I like to be prepared and for some reason I get worried that I will end up sitting around bored somewhere. I don't own a car and I walk or ride the bus everywhere, so it's a likely event.

I have a blanket that I always sleep with. I'm a grown lady and I don't care that my blanket has teddy bears on it.

I also like hoodies for "protection." My uniform basically involves a hoodie and my messenger bag. I haven't carried a purse or handbag in years.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom