Background: I apologize if this is long.
My 10yo son was diagnosed ADHD and then high functioning ASD between the ages of 6 and 7. He was raised at home by my mother while my husband and I worked. He was slow to walk and potty train but everyone said boys are slower than girls. He had a few speech issues but all kids do when first learning.
It wasn’t until preschool when the problems became bigger and other people became involved that we really noticed. He had major separation anxiety and struggled with socializing. Again we just assumed it was because he was an only child and never had the experiences before. By kindergarten though his teacher and the school were concerned which made us take a step back and we decided to have him evaluated.
His pediatrician diagnosed him ADHD right away and wanted to start him on meds. I was hesitant. My brother had been diagnosed ADD in the 90’s and took Ritalin for years. He hated the way it made him feel but he couldn’t sit still without it. My husband and I decided to try and see what happened.
Over the span of a year we tried 3 different stimulant meds and one non and had awful side effects and zero positives. By the time we decided to stop he was so depressed and cried constantly. I felt like the worst parent. We changed doctors. The new doc suggested having him evaluated for autism.
Unfortunately where we live there isn’t anywhere close by that does that so we had to drive quite a ways to have that done. We got the diagnosis but no one gave us a manual or told us what to do next. I spent a lot of time researching on my own and came up with nutrition and diet. We took him off of gluten. He’d suffered from upper respiratory issues for years. We thought it was allergies and had him tested. They said he was allergic to dust and ragweed but suddenly no gluten and all of that went away. Which was nice but it didn’t help behaviorally.
Finally I found Neural Balance. One of those nutrition supplement powders you mix in their drink. He took that every day for 3 years and magically he was calmer. He felt better. He was less irritable. He cried less. And then...he started the 4th grade.
IDK what happened this year. We discovered he has severe anxiety associated with math. Now that things are starting to get a little harder he just shuts down and refuses to do any work. He’s been suspended twice. Once for threatening to stab an aid with his pencil (to his defense, she got in his space and erased his paper without asking first).
Obviously though making threats isn’t allowed. The second time he yelled at his teacher and told her he hated her in front of the whole class. I get it. You have to “set an example”. But the reason he was upset in first place was avoidable.
Recently he pushed his teacher into the classroom lockers/cubbies. (Again to his defense, she took his book bag from him because he hadn’t put his things away). I got a phone call for that one and they didn’t remove him because he flat out told them being suspended didn’t help. I mean I get it. I’m not an educator. But I get where they’re coming from.
We’ve gone back and forth all year. We had a second IEP meeting that didn’t change or fix anything. We’ve worked with the county parent advocate. We’ve sent him to therapy and tried anxiety medication which made him gain 10 pounds and didn’t help. We tried methylphenidate again. He was tired and cranky and had nightmares and wouldn’t eat. No positives. So we stopped.
I’m lost. I feel like we’ve tried everything. His school thinks he’s too smart to be placed in their special classes. There is a local school called the Center for autism and dyslexia. We’ve heard a lot of bad things and very little good about. The parent advocate recommends home schooling because he reminds her of her son and that’s what she did but I don’t think I have the patience or the knowledge.
Is there something I’m missing? Another medication? Does he belong in public school? Does anyone else have a similar story?
My 10yo son was diagnosed ADHD and then high functioning ASD between the ages of 6 and 7. He was raised at home by my mother while my husband and I worked. He was slow to walk and potty train but everyone said boys are slower than girls. He had a few speech issues but all kids do when first learning.
It wasn’t until preschool when the problems became bigger and other people became involved that we really noticed. He had major separation anxiety and struggled with socializing. Again we just assumed it was because he was an only child and never had the experiences before. By kindergarten though his teacher and the school were concerned which made us take a step back and we decided to have him evaluated.
His pediatrician diagnosed him ADHD right away and wanted to start him on meds. I was hesitant. My brother had been diagnosed ADD in the 90’s and took Ritalin for years. He hated the way it made him feel but he couldn’t sit still without it. My husband and I decided to try and see what happened.
Over the span of a year we tried 3 different stimulant meds and one non and had awful side effects and zero positives. By the time we decided to stop he was so depressed and cried constantly. I felt like the worst parent. We changed doctors. The new doc suggested having him evaluated for autism.
Unfortunately where we live there isn’t anywhere close by that does that so we had to drive quite a ways to have that done. We got the diagnosis but no one gave us a manual or told us what to do next. I spent a lot of time researching on my own and came up with nutrition and diet. We took him off of gluten. He’d suffered from upper respiratory issues for years. We thought it was allergies and had him tested. They said he was allergic to dust and ragweed but suddenly no gluten and all of that went away. Which was nice but it didn’t help behaviorally.
Finally I found Neural Balance. One of those nutrition supplement powders you mix in their drink. He took that every day for 3 years and magically he was calmer. He felt better. He was less irritable. He cried less. And then...he started the 4th grade.
IDK what happened this year. We discovered he has severe anxiety associated with math. Now that things are starting to get a little harder he just shuts down and refuses to do any work. He’s been suspended twice. Once for threatening to stab an aid with his pencil (to his defense, she got in his space and erased his paper without asking first).
Obviously though making threats isn’t allowed. The second time he yelled at his teacher and told her he hated her in front of the whole class. I get it. You have to “set an example”. But the reason he was upset in first place was avoidable.
Recently he pushed his teacher into the classroom lockers/cubbies. (Again to his defense, she took his book bag from him because he hadn’t put his things away). I got a phone call for that one and they didn’t remove him because he flat out told them being suspended didn’t help. I mean I get it. I’m not an educator. But I get where they’re coming from.
We’ve gone back and forth all year. We had a second IEP meeting that didn’t change or fix anything. We’ve worked with the county parent advocate. We’ve sent him to therapy and tried anxiety medication which made him gain 10 pounds and didn’t help. We tried methylphenidate again. He was tired and cranky and had nightmares and wouldn’t eat. No positives. So we stopped.
I’m lost. I feel like we’ve tried everything. His school thinks he’s too smart to be placed in their special classes. There is a local school called the Center for autism and dyslexia. We’ve heard a lot of bad things and very little good about. The parent advocate recommends home schooling because he reminds her of her son and that’s what she did but I don’t think I have the patience or the knowledge.
Is there something I’m missing? Another medication? Does he belong in public school? Does anyone else have a similar story?