Scared to take meds

[Robby]

Hi everyone posted here before but not on this topic, maybe some of you can relate. I have mild autism, and severe social anxiety and avoidance. I have a learning disability in math. I just can't do it. I can take xanax, maybe because I feel I have more control over it taking it as needed. I struggle with depression a lot. I can't get out of bed some days. My anxiety is in over drive. I avoid people, places, and basically have no life. I avoid work. Hate the way I look. Unmotivated, unfocused. No plans. No nothing. Just existing. Not on anything but xanax. It makes me hurt less. But I am angry all the time, I have immense rage, sadness, and frustration. The doctor talked about lexapro but scared to take it. I've never taken an anti-depressant. I've gotten job offers but don't go because am afraid of people judging me, making fun of me, singling me out because I'm different. I think about suicide quite a bit. I don't cry any more, I'm past that. Just kind of going through the motions. An acquaintance told me she tried an anti depressant once and it made her violently ill and to NEVER take them that they make you a zombie and keep you awake. She told me never to take them. Don't they mess your brain up or something?

 

[Robby]

I see all these videos of people saying they're awful and make you numb and nauseous. Just afraid to take them.

 

[metalminx24]

I think it's probably the same as most things, people are more likely to bother giving bad reviews than they are good ones. People feed on negativity.

For me, anti - depressants have never made me nauseous. Yes, they can have a 'waking you up' effect but that's why you take them first thing, it's then worn off by the end of the day. There's only one way to see if they work for you - try them. It's not a lifetime commitment, if they don't work you either try a different one or you stop taking them. Everybody 's body reacts differently, so don't rely on others' experiences.

 

[Datura]

There is actually a wide variety of antidepressants on the market with certain classes working by entirely different mechanisms. Therefore it is folly to judge them all in the same way. Some will numb you and make you sleepy, others will actually stimulate you. One drug may work wonderfully for one person and leave the next person completely messed up.

I have only tried a couple of antidepressants myself. Bupropion (Welbutrin) caused horrific side effects, significantly elevating my anxiety to the point of psychosis and suicidal ideation. I developed a number of tics during this time and began to experienced heightened sensory sensitivity. In a sense it made me both more autistic and depressed. Meanwhile; my brother took the same drug and reports that it works well for him.

Paroxatine (Paxil), on the other hand, worked quite well for me. There was an innitial adjustment period as the drug built up in my system which resulted in slight stomach upset, vertigo, and mild irritability. After this passed, however, I found myself in a much better emotional state. It didn't completely prevent my depression, but it did make things significantly better for me.

It is worth noting that these two drugs work b entirely different mechanisms (one inhibiting seratonin and the other one neuropinephering and dopamine) which accounts for the profound difference in how they can effect people.

My advice is to remain open-minded, but cutious about antidepressants. It sounds like your depression is pretty severe and that you are anxious and fearful in general, so it is understandible that you are fearful about medications. As it is though, could you feel much worse than you feel now? What do you have to lose? I think it would be worth a try for you.

Keep in mind that most drugs of this nature have an adjustment period. Unpleasant side effects are common at first, but usually disapate as your body adjusts. Most of these drugs work by inhibition, blocking nuerotransmitters from binding to their receptor sites. As such, your brain is innitially deprived of these chemicals. Your brain then adjusts to this by producing more of said neurotransmitters, boosting their concentration and consistency, leading to the desired clinical result of an improved emotional state.

If you do go forward with antidepressants I reccomend you keep a journal to track how you are feeling day-to-day. Do your research and find out what common side effects to expect as you adjust and what side effects you should be concerned about. Follow up with your doctor regularly to determine if the medication is beneficial. If it is not then you can discontinue it with supervision and try something else.

Also keep in mind that there are other courses of treatment to consider. Exercise and medetation help many people self-regulate. Diet can have a major effect on depression, you may even have sensitivites you are unawae of. There is also Cognative Behavioural Therapy and outher routs.

Hang in there.

 

[Jacoby]

Well a lot of what you say I can relate to but I haven't found any medication that will cure my depression and I don't think there is as I believe it is situational, it's just that situation is my entire life. I feel like I have to improve my situation, my self esteem, or else nothing will help. The best they can offer you is to maybe numb you up. I just started with a benzo and I think I'm starting to experience some of this anger too, free from anxiety my brain just goes to depression as I take stock of my life instead of being overwhelmed by the moment. I've been taking Wellbutrin, I think I'm probably more depressed now than when I started taking it but I think that was going to happen regardless given the stressors involved. It does give me energy, I feel like it helps me concentrate, added bonus of having lost 10+ lbs in the first month taking it which is the opposite of pretty much every other drug they'll give you. I can't deal with the side effects, weight gain and sexual stuff would just wreck my body image even more on top of the issues I already have so I think it would be dumb for me to even try.

 

[Robby]

Well if anything these responses have confirmed my fears about not taking the Lexapro that the doctor prescribed me. He thinks I'm taking it, but I never have because I don't want to mess myself up. I'm already messed up enough. I watch all these videos about people saying you turn into a zombie. And that they have horrible side effects and destroy sex drive.

I can't get the courage up to take one because I'm afraid. But I'm so sad I can't stop crying all the time Life is just ******** nobody cares or understands. I have horrible body image already and what if the meds mess my brain up and what if they make me fat?

 

[Jacoby]

Well if anything these responses have confirmed my fears about not taking the Lexapro that the doctor prescribed me. He thinks I'm taking it, but I never have because I don't want to mess myself up. I'm already messed up enough. I watch all these videos about people saying you turn into a zombie. And that they have horrible side effects and destroy sex drive.

I can't get the courage up to take one because I'm afraid. But I'm so sad I can't stop crying all the time Life is just ******** nobody cares or understands. I have horrible body image already and what if the meds mess my brain up and what if they make me fat?

I've felt the same way and have done the same thing, I have have multiple full bottles of antidepressants laying around that I never took but haven't thrown away. Maybe you could ask to try Wellbutrin? The only reason I was even willing to try it was because it's not an SSRI or have the typical side effects of your normal antidepressant, I didn't see the downside as long as my anxiety was kept in check. It's like a stimulant alternative so it can make you very I dunno restless? At its worst I'm pacing, super charged stimming, rapid speech, it can make anxiety worse but that can be controlled with additional medication which I do with Klonopin. It kills my appetite and I've lost a decent amount of weight pretty fast, I don't mind this right now but I am pretty surprised since I ugh use some herbal supplements which usually make me pretty hungry so I can't imagine my appetite would be without that.

 

[On the Inside]

Like Jacoby, I take a relatively small dose of buproprion, or Wellbutrin, and it has improved my moods, helped me focus a bit more and I've realy not had any side effects whatsoever. I also take Clonazepam, which is similar to Klonopin, for anxiety. Again this is a low dose, and I use it as needed, so there are days that I don't. Mostly I take some in the evening to help me sleep.

It took me a long time to come around to being willing to try medication, and the first few tries were no fun, really. Side effects, no real change in mood or behavior, increased nervousness (Zoloft). Very uncomfortable side effects, headaches, loss of appetite, feeling hung over, loss of imagination and pleasure (Strattera). And a couple of others which had no effect at all.

I hope you can find some help and relief with something. Medication is tricky, and it wasn't until I started seeing my current Pdoc that I felt like I had a partner on my care team.

 

[Robby]

I just can't stop crying lately. I feel like a wuss. Scared to take an anti-depressant that was prescribed me but in a lot of pain.

 

[Wireless]

I'm sorry you're going through this Robby.
I know I'm NT so my brain is different, but I've found Kalms tablets very helpful for anxiety. They're a herbal remedy of hops, valerian extract and gentian extract.
I wonder if a herbal remedy may be useful to you? At least to reduce your anxiety a little.

Also, don't be ashamed to feel this way. There's nothing wussy about suffering from anxiety and depression. I have mild to moderate social anxiety and stay in all the time. I struggle to go to the shops, unless I really have to.

I hope you find a solution.

 

[ZackSkylar101]

I'm sad that you feel that way Robby, it is not nice to feel that upset. I don't think I can suggest anything in particular that other people haven't mentioned already, but I think that if you are unsure about the medication then you should speak to your doctor about it because they can try and help you to get a better understanding of it. SSRIs (which from what I understand is what lexapro falls into, as it's the S-enantiomer of citalopram) are generally good drugs to take for depression and anxiety disorders, but are a bit tricky to get started with. Seeing as though you are already taking the benzodiazapine from your xanax, and you are currently feeling the way you are then it is probably a good idea to give it a try and see what happens, but if you are still unsure then talk to your doctor about it again and explain how uncertain you are about it.

Again, I'm sad you feel that way. I hope you feel better soon.

Also to just note with the last comment. If you want to try any herbal remedies then it would be best to talk to your doctor before doing so as they could have compounds that interact with your medication, so probably best to ask about that

 

[Abe1]

Well if anything these responses have confirmed my fears about not taking the Lexapro that the doctor prescribed me. He thinks I'm taking it, but I never have because I don't want to mess myself up. I'm already messed up enough. I watch all these videos about people saying you turn into a zombie. And that they have horrible side effects and destroy sex drive.

I can't get the courage up to take one because I'm afraid. But I'm so sad I can't stop crying all the time Life is just ******** nobody cares or understands. I have horrible body image already and what if the meds mess my brain up and what if they make me fat?

I started taking SSRIs around 2 months ago for long term depression and anxiety to an extent. In that time I found out that I most likely have Aspergers (really not good timing).

My thought on taking SSRi (Setraline) now 100mg previously 50mg, I has calmed me down a little, although I do feel a bit anxious at times. It also makes me less prone to outbursts, I have not turned into a zombie. although there are climaxing issues as a result (trying to say that politely), but that is something I can live with in relation to the other benefits.

When you are stuck in the rut, which I still am, then you will not do things which may make you feel more alive, as it is easier not to do them. Medication is not the cure all, but what they do is allow you is to get out of the rut, to think more clearly about things to make the changes that will allow you to make the changes needed to escape from depression.

I can understand the worries about taking SSRIs, they are powerful drugs and they do change you and If you do not feel conformable taking them, then there is no problem in not doing so. I have been depressed on and off for nearly 5 years, and have resisted the temptation to take them previously.

I would say one thing though, please be honest with your doctor, if you are not taking the prescribed medication, please inform him/her, and say you would prefer other solutions.

In summary, good luck in getting better whether you decide to take the medication or not, it is not easy being depressed and not something I would wish on anybody.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Anti-depressants never helped me...not sure what dosage I was on (it was a long time ago), but it didn't help my mood, and it made me feel more out of touch with the world. I had a harder time thinking clearly or remembering things while I was on meds, so I quit them.

These days, I take supplements instead, and watch carefully the kinds of food I eat. The supplement that seems to help my mood the most is turmeric/curcumin. I can tell a difference within a day or two if I forget to take it. I've tried a lot of supplements to find what works for me (St. John's Wort, for example, made my moodiness worse). Fish oil and turmeric are the two that have been the most effective for me.

 

[BIMOG]

You went to see your doctor because you felt that you needed help. Your doctor, who is a trained medical professional, prescribed medication that he feels will help you. Surely it makes sense to at least give it a try? If it doesn't help then stop taking it.

 

[Robby]

It's just so easy to say,take the meds. And I'm not scared of meds persay. I've taken tons of them. But for some reason anti-depressants unsettle me. I'm just afraid they'll mess me up or something. Another thing is that while I like the therapist I've seen, I don't feel it does any good. Talking to someone who doesn't know me and is getting paid to pretend, kind of feels fake to me. I don't have any friends I can talk to though. So I'm just a very lonely person. So as far as the meds, I guess I can take more xanax, to see if that helps any. I've had numerous doctors try to prescribe me anti depressants from Paxil to Zoloft to now Lexapro, but I've never taken them because I'm afraid to. I just see so many horror stories about them. I can't tell my doctor I'm not taking the Lexapro, because all this time I've lied to him and told him I am, and I don't want thim to think I'm stupid for not doing it. So I'm just stuck with depression and anxiety. Maybe I'll get drunk or something and make myself get up the courage to take it. I'm just afraid of taking an anti depressant and getting messed up or fat or never sleep again or something. They're potent meds. I'm not anti-med at all, I've taken tons of meds over the years, just not anti-depressants. I just need help.

 

[Buffles]

I know where you are Robby, I was/am there. I've been trying all kinds of antidepressants for about 6 months. I gave them all at least 3 weeks except for one that the side effects were just too much. I just knew I had to do something. I think my psychiatrist is close to a bipolar diagnosis for me because I seem to be in a mania now. (I guess, that's what my therapist tells me.)

Why am I telling you all this? You don't know until you try. I went through the same bad patch a few years ago and probably should have been hospitalized. Found that one of the antidepressants was causing all the trouble. I decided back then that I was never going to take another antidepressant again. Well, like last time, I have to do something. Nothing has worked for me yet, but knowing my MD, Psychiatrist,and therapist have their eye on me, I feel a little safer. Therapy has probably done more for me than drugs, I can fully recommend that.

 

[Robby]

Another psychiatrist wrongly diagnosed me as bipolar and put me on heavy psych meds, lithium, which really messed me up bad, and it was only much later that they correctly diagnosed me with autism and major depression and anxiety. NOT bipolar. What you say is right. I'm just scared. I was wrongly put on Lithium, which I DID take, and I got severe palpitations from it, and it messed my whole body chemistry up. I was hospitalized for a breakdown when I was on it. It took me months to get over the effects of the lithium on me, which I took for about two weeks before stopping. I guess ssri's are milder than Lithium, but I'm still afraid.

It just feels like the doctor throws a med at you and then says come back in weeks. What if something goes wrong in the meantime? WHat if I have a bad reaction? I did take Paxil once, only like two doses, a few years back, and it gave me severe hot flashes, and I got extremely nauseous and felt terrible. I stopped taking it after two doses. My friend told me to never to take anti depressants she says they make you fat and mess you up.

 

[Robby]

I am just not dealing with this very well I'm sorry

 

[Warmheart]

Gently, gently...

Begin by discussing with your ASD specialist how the Lexapro *might* impact you, both good and bad.
Taking an antidepressant is a bold, brave leap of faith, envisioning a stable, calm, dependable, peaceful you, even if you don't see that in your current experience. You sense your inner strength, and want to give it the best chance to come out and be evident.

Antidepressants might be a stepping stone to allow you stability, so that you can learn the techniques and practices to strengthen your abilities to choose your own thoughts for the better, and learn whichever disciplines and practices promote peace, stability, and mental wellness.

When you have become accustomed to feeling stable, and have learned the techniques and practices to foster peace and good mental health, you may well be able to titrate gently off the meds.

Robby, I believe in you.

Remember to breathe.

PS--
Temple Grandin wisely suggests beginning with a mini-dosage (1/4 to 1/2 the expected dose) for those on the spectrum. Wise indeed. You may have to work hard to advocate for yourself on this with your prescriber accustomed to treating NTs.

 

[BlueConundrum]

I've been on antidepressants on and off for over 20 years. I have rarely had problems. Antipsychotic medications are far more likely to have uncomfortable side effects.