Rule Based Thinking-2 different categories?

[Suzette]

I am internally rule led. That is why I was never one for all behavior modification plans in school and they never worked for me if the rules didn't make sense to me. I have never set off a fire alarm without an actual fire since I am able to assess the outcome and realize it does nothing good for anyone but it never crosses my mind that I should not due to being told not to do it.

About you aba thing while I was never in the 40 hours a week ABA I can't comment but my life for awhile was full of charts and directions and rewards and punishments. I had to sit down everyday and check in my behaviour had been "expected" or "unexpected" and the goal of everything I did was to make me more compliant. I came out of those years with PTSD but not at all a rule follower even though they were not always mean and gave me candy or time on the computer or praise for doing what I was told.

Sorry for the insert in the middle of this facinating discussion. But I was never involved in any sort of therapy and this whole idea of "behavior modification" is horrifying! It seems to be an intellectually justified version of Eugenics. I honestly hoped that there would be more humanity in understanding NDs. Especially for those with significant challenges.

 

[jleeb05]

If an external rule is compatible with your internal rule based system, then I'd still consider that as being based on your internal rule system.

I don't mean that people in the internal rule category would literally reject any external rule (e.g. rule of law, etc). But just as you describe, they apply any external rule against their internal rule based system.

An external rule autistic person's rule base might be composed primarily of or even exclusively of external rules.

Perhaps like most things, it's a spectrum. I've thought about this a lot recently. Growing up, I had a very strict moral code. For example, I would not say curse words or words that probably aren't considered curse words like "crap." I would spell "s-e-x" instead of saying the actual word. Intimate body parts were off limits. I would say "booboo" instead of "butt", refused to say the word lips, etc. I wouldn't even say the word "woman" and would instead say "lady."

Feeling that someone has violated one of my rules could send me into a rage/meltdown. The first time I heard my mother say "the f*** word," I almost tackled her. When I went to college I was shocked that people my age (18) were drinking because it was illegal. My friends actually wrote me an apology letter for drinking because I was so upset. In hindsight, no wonder it was so hard for me to make friends.

I imagine many of these rules I created were initially propagated by external sources. I was probably told at some point, not to use "bad words" or not to call someone "woman" or that underage drinking was bad. However, I don't remember these things being drummed into my head, as my family was fairly laid back but I still internalized these external rules and incorporated them into a very rigid belief system.

As I've grown older, I've thankfully allowed for my flexibility and nuance but many aspects of that "code" remain intact. Even at age 34, I've never used a curse word (though it no longer bothers me when others do). Still, I don't see my belief system to really be about authority at all. It is my guidebook for navigating a complex world. A framework, patched together from what I was taught, what I observed, and what I experienced. In many ways my belief system resists authority. In other ways, it complies, and in some cases, it is even more strict and uncompromising than those created by external sources.