Roommating/Quietness Skills

[Poppy98]

This might be preaching to the choir, but in case it is helpful to someone, I'm going to list some of the tricks for being curteously quiet when your neighbors/ housemates/ spouse is sleeping.


Thankfully most of these can be done at approximately the same speed as the noisy action although you might not at first expect that.

If it is something that you struggle with:


Planning Ahead:
First and foremost planning ahead when possible helps.


When that fails, taking note of the specific noisy tasks and attempting to complete them at more reasonable hours can be wise.





Doors:
If you need to close a door quietly, turn the doorknob and use the doorknob to close it. This greatly decreases the risk of and volume of closing the door.
While most of the closing can be done quickly, slow down when you have the door almost to the frame.

If both hands are free, you can also rest it on the door frame. This gives you an additional way to judge the distance between the door and the frame and can allow you to close the door almost silently. If you have your free hand resting on both the frame and door, closing it can be virtually silent.





Microwave
If you have a loud microwave, stopping it before the last second can save you some grumpy looks.


Additionally, microwave doors tend to be quite loud when you close them. The same button that releases the door can often be compresed to close the door almost silently because nothing needs to clunk into place.

Noisy Dishes
If you have to unload the dishwaher early or late in the day, this is is probably not what you want to see.

If you tilt a dish (or any hard item) when making the intial contact with the table, the noise will be a clink instead of a wham, you then have a good feel of how far away the table is from the other end of the dish.

Like with the door example, setting your hand to the side of where you will place the dish, can also help you better judge the distance between the dish and the table or one pan and the next.





Stairs
Being mindful of your noise on the stairs can be helpful.

Likewise any form of exercise tends to be loud to your lower neighbors.




Keeping your voice and tv down is helpful too.


Remember that if it is daytime, 2nd shift workers need sleep too, please be curteous during their sleephours if you wish that they do that for you!

 

[Outdated]

These are all standard common courtesies when you share a wall with a neighbour. I'll use my microwave late at night because it's not all that loud but I won't use the air fryer because it beeps way too loud, sounds like a truck reversing.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I feel like a studio apt would be better for an aspie than a roommate situation, because of needing alone time.

 

[Poppy98]

I feel like a studio apt would be better for an aspie than a roommate situation, because of needing alone time.

Probably true.

 

[Matthias]

I think anyone who has roommates/neighbors willing to make that effort is very lucky. I've had roommates or neighbors watch loud movies and listen to loud music late at night even when they knew I was trying to sleep. One of my friends had an upstairs neighbor who practiced his basketball dribbling skills well after midnight without any concern for how it affected others. Your really need a detached house with the nearest neighbor far away to be assured of peace and quiet.

 

[Poppy98]

I think anyone who has roommates/neighbors willing to make that effort is very lucky. I've had roommates or neighbors watch loud movies and listen to loud music late at night even when they knew I was trying to sleep. One of my friends had an upstairs neighbor who practiced his basketball dribbling skills well after midnight without any concern for how it affected others.

Wow, this makes some of my ex-neighbors seem like gems by comparison.

 

[Outdated]

I think anyone who has roommates/neighbors willing to make that effort is very lucky. I've had roommates or neighbors watch loud movies and listen to loud music late at night even when they knew I was trying to sleep. One of my friends had an upstairs neighbor who practiced his basketball dribbling skills well after midnight without any concern for how it affected others.

I had nearly 6 years of the same, except in my case it was alcoholics and drug addicts and music and aggro yelling and screaming and police and all sorts of carry on.

I just got a new neighbour a month ago and he's fantastic, he's as quiet as I am. I hope he's happy to stay there a while.

 

[Outdated]

I feel like a studio apt would be better for an aspie than a roommate situation, because of needing alone time.

I was still a teenager when I worked out that I can't live with other people and I've mostly stuck to that for my whole life.

 

[JayLapointe]

I would add be mindful of how you walk through your apartment particularly if you are the upstairs neighbor/room mate. I remember when I was in community college living with some random people and two of them in particular were the loudest walkers I've ever encountered. They had this habit of almost stamping their heels with every step. The irony being that as human beings go they were both very little people. 5'1/5'2 but to hear them walk about it sounded like they were 10 feet tall.

Oddly though I'm a big enough guy and I get told very often that I walk too quietly. Like I apparently "sneak" up on folks. I think it's a something that carried over from my youth doing martial arts. Just learning to better roll from heal to toe smoothly to even out the force of impact and the noise. And at least in the house I also walk a fair amount just on the balls of my feet, yes it's odd but it feels natural to me.

 

[Judge]

Wow, this makes some of my ex-neighbors seem like gems by comparison.

It's the one dynamic you can never really escape as a renter. That whomever your neighbors are or aren't remains a random act at best.

When the only way to hedge your bets is to consider how thick or thin walls or floors may be relative to an apartment's construction. When it means never viewing an apartment in the middle of the day or late morning when few tenants are at home to hear them.

Something I learned the hard way in obtaining a unit in what I thought was a very nice place. Only a half hour after obtaining my keys I knew I was not going to stay given the noise of someone's tv set right against my bedroom wall. I forfeited quite a deposit back then and never moved in.

Wearing industrial ear protectors while against a pillow in bed was never an option.

 

[Outdated]

And at least in the house I also walk a fair amount just on the balls of my feet, yes it's odd but it feels natural to me.

Off topic but interesting - I always did this too. Mum reckoned I was one of the only people that actually walks properly. It's hell on shoes though, they always used to break on me across the balls of the feet. I actually prefer to get around barefoot where ever possible, hot climate, I destroyed a knee skiing when I was young and I find walking barefoot a lot less tiring, when your feet are in shoes you're unable to use all the micromuslces needed for proper gait and balance.

 

[JayLapointe]

Off topic but interesting - I always did this too. Mum reckoned I was one of the only people that actually walks properly. It's hell on shoes though, they always used to break on me across the balls of the feet. I actually prefer to get around barefoot where ever possible, hot climate, I destroyed a knee skiing when I was young and I find walking barefoot a lot less tiring, when your feet are in shoes you're unable to use all the micromuslces needed for proper gait and balance.

Right there with you on the preferring to go barefoot whenever possible. And I agree with your Mom. I've always thought we were supposed to walk on the balls of our feet not the heels.