Returning to the office after diagnosis and remote working

[HiBrad]

Hi. A year ago the pandemic hit and I started working from home. I also received my diagnosis shortly after. Finally returning to office now that lockdowns are over here in Melbourne, Australia. I've always had social anxiety, which I now view as an understanding of the social rules but an inability to follow them without considerable effort and discomfort. I'm conscious now of just how difficult I find socialising, how much I anticipate when I'm going to find myself in an uncomfortable situation at work (standing up face to face with someone is a major cause of anxiety for example, as is the communal kitchen) and how drained it makes me. I guess I get used to it over time and with practice but the "break" that the pandemic afforded me and my new insights have revealed to me just how unpleasant I find it. Today we had an office Christmas lunch and I found it unbearable. I imagine over time it will get better but I wonder now if I should continue to just suppress my discomfort. Just interested in people's views and wanted to vent

 

[Thinx]

Omicron will likely be sending you all home again soon, we are back to remote working in the UK, where possible. In terms of the pandemic, I wouldn't be attending any indoor social events such as Christmas meals, for sure.

Back when that was an option, I would usually either give apologies, or attend an actual seated meal but leave after eating. I can't do unstructured social interaction, not for lack of trying over many years. I think it's a processing issue partly, micro aspects of communication I don't process fast enough or ever.

We do appear to often have that issue, it's not just you, and there are reasons for it in our different neurology. It understandably gives rise to anxiety because we are in a minority and we usually have had no help with understanding that we encounter the world a little differently from others.

My solution at work was to mask if possible, plus avoid most unstructured social interaction where possible. I needed a job, and I was ok at the work, so that seemed a fair solution.

 

[Suzanne]

Where I live ( in France - not French), a friend's daughter had to stay home, because 5 children, including her best friend, had covid and she was always hugging her. But, she has had two covid tests and both are negative, so she is back to school. Oh, the "logic" it all, so in other words, pretty sure you will get to stay at home again.

Since I was a child, I hated break times and would beg the teacher to let me stay in the class room, which she thought was strange and so, sort of pushed me out to "play" and all I ended up doing, was walking around the building, because I had no conception how to play.

This has carried on throughout my life. I hate breaks and get togethers so much, that I tend to do anything to avoid them.

Now I know the reason, I feel sort of as though I have "permission' to be a bit strange lol

 

[HiBrad]

Thanks both. Yes, good points! The 'unstructured' nature of the interaction unnerves me and, as you both said, it's just a case of dealing where necessary and avoiding where possible. Knowing now that it's part of my neurology (and not just a phobia) helps also.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I work in a busy hospital intensive care unit. Lots and lots of stimuli and social interactions. I have found that taking "mini breaks" can be helpful. 5-10 minutes in a bathroom, locker room, equipment storage room, whatever. You have to pace yourself and know your thresholds. Some days instead of eating in the break room with others, sit outside, sit at your desk, whatever. Throw your earbuds on, read the news,...or,...even if you are in the break room with others,...if you appear to be busy reading or concentrating on something (even if you're not),...most people will leave you alone.