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Responding to women being forward.

Aspychata said:
Sorry. This has happened my entire life to me. It's not something l expected to deal with in my lifetime. If l named everything that has happened, you will tell l made it up. That's how bad it is. I want to support crewlucaa. Perhaps our words aren't correct but it doesn't diminish our situation.
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@Suzette was giving an example to the OP as to what he could say to the two women at work with her comment.
 
Magna said:
@Suzette was giving an example to the OP as to what he could say to the two women at work with her comment.
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I was explaining a situation involving my body, one did happen in the kitchen. The other happened in the hall down from the kitchen. I think l am as revelant as anyone else. Maybe the OP should decide, it's their post.

But thanks for your input. It's a tricky area and l am relieved that everyone is very civil.
 
Aspychata said:
Sorry. This has happened my entire life to me. It's not something l expected to deal with in my lifetime. If l named everything that has happened, you will tell l made it up. That's how bad it is. I want to support crewlucaa. Perhaps our words aren't correct but it doesn't diminish our situation.

I feel sorry it happened to the OP. The only reason l described what happen to me is because you really can't complain about it because the men didn't actually touch me. Does it make it right? Nope.
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I totally get you sister!
I learned quite young essential skills such as "the stare of death", and how to sound firm and confident saying "If you touch me I will scream". I once even told an Arab guy after he pinched my butt "Keep your hands to yourself and treat me with respect" .

You have every right to complain when someone is making you uncomfortable. In fact, I argue that you have every right to make your discomfort loud and very, very public!

Listen up boys and girls, men and women, n.d and n.t. alike... harassment is not o.k.
You can not allow others to harass you.

If you know a person and know their intentions you can feel pretty good "laughing it off" but, especially if you are a woman, those "jokes" from a stranger, or your boss and coworker, cross the line.

It does not matter what the other persons intentions are. If they are making you uncomfortable they failed in their intentions and they need to know about it.

Never, ever excuse harassment out of being polite, wanting to get along or being afraid you will be labeled. Take your safety and desire to feel safe seriously and be generous with others needs to feel safe too.

Off soap box.
 
crewlucaa_ said:
I have a pretty big butt and boobs to be quite frank and I’ve had a lot of guys grope me in nightclubs… not very pleasant from a female perspective either :confused:

So I totally understand being uncomfortable. I hope this issue can be resolved for you so your workplace becomes less stressful.
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i have boobs myself (man-boobs) :bearface: :tiger: :tigerface:
 
I think that you are always allowed to tell people If they make you uncomfortable or cross your boundaries. I have done that a few times and it went very well as I have been very direct but not unfriendly (so they so not shut the information out).

What I find really hard is deciding if they are doing things on purpose . Like when I take a step back in a slim alley and they are right behind me so my butt touches their soft spot....or when they touch my lower arm because we work very closely.
I do not have that feeling for boundaries as long as I am not being touched, but some guys might take that as an invitation that I am not really giving.

So with that one guy I decided to force myself to enforce more distance by me backing away for example or waiting until he has moved away further. That has helped. Also I decided to not do that type of work anymore (I am lucky I have that choice).

But with people who are actively pursuing you, you might not get around a talk...

Good Luck!
 
nerfburglar said:
At my work I don't talk much. I'm there to kill time before class and make some money. But somehow I've managed to to attract the attention of a coworker and my boss. At this point I think they must have thought I was playing hard to get, and the nice words I took at face value became touches and innuendo.

I really feel uncomfortable with this, especially at work. I don't know how to respond to it, make it stop, or move forward with them.
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Generally speaking men dont respond how we do- the average man wouldnt have a problem with this- I have no idea why thereis such a varied set of reactions, the internet is filled withh men our age complaining about not being able to attract women- they wish they had your problem but you cant say no. Its called mutism- its been one of my primary fears. Sufficed to say you cannot allow this to continue- if you felt safe around them you would not be posting this which means QUIT and potentially SUE.

A case like that would make mens rights concerns a whole lot more real.
 
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