Responding To Bullies With Humor

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

I was wondering if anyone else relates to this response.
For example, when I was probably about 10 or 11 someone bullied me for refusing to do something by calling me a chicken. I knew the term and what it meant and I know that the expected response would be to succumb to the peer pressure or at least get hurt or defensive or something of that nature. My response was to proceed to act like a chicken and then ended up busting out laughing when the bully got confused and perhaps even embarrassed as anticipated.
Later at job sites, if someone mocks me or hits me with something and things like that I largely ignore them, keep doing my work and looking for the positive things. I would sometimes start noticing the puzzled looks and might even get a comment about how I should be mad. Everyone's expressions end up amusing me. You can tell everyone is confused and the biggest irony is that some of them will even looked scared and for what? I was just working at my work assignment. They were the one that did something against me. I didn't do anything back and have absolutely no intention of doing so yet they are the ones standing around looking nervous and commenting to each other about thinking I might be dangerous even though I have done nothing to appear dangerous but am merely doing my job as expected by management.This amuses me and I laugh pretty easy and can have trouble getting it entirely under control and somehow getting amused is one of the things that triggers an energy spike so I may begin to do my work with gusto and frequently escaping snickers and giggles. Later when someone that was not present comes around and asks me about it I will tell them what the person did and then declare that the people think I am "mad" because I am not angry and then I giggle more.

 

[RemyZee]

I was wondering if anyone else relates to this response.
For example, when I was probably about 10 or 11 someone bullied me for refusing to do something by calling me a chicken. I knew the term and what it meant and I know that the expected response would be to succumb to the peer pressure or at least get hurt or defensive or something of that nature. My response was to proceed to act like a chicken and then ended up busting out laughing when the bully got confused and perhaps even embarrassed as anticipated.
Later at job sites, if someone mocks me or hits me with something and things like that I largely ignore them, keep doing my work and looking for the positive things. I would sometimes start noticing the puzzled looks and might even get a comment about how I should be mad. Everyone's expressions end up amusing me. You can tell everyone is confused and the biggest irony is that some of them will even looked scared and for what? I was just working at my work assignment. They were the one that did something against me. I didn't do anything back and have absolutely no intention of doing so yet they are the ones standing around looking nervous and commenting to each other about thinking I might be dangerous even though I have done nothing to appear dangerous but am merely doing my job as expected by management.This amuses me and I laugh pretty easy and can have trouble getting it entirely under control and somehow getting amused is one of the things that triggers an energy spike so I may begin to do my work with gusto and frequently escaping snickers and giggles. Later when someone that was not present comes around and asks me about it I will tell them what the person did and then declare that the people think I am "mad" because I am not angry and then I giggle more.

If I had enough courage, I would in polite company just out of the blue do an impromptu chicken imitation. Yes. I have actually thought about this.

 

[Outdated]

The first time I ever stood up to a bully was at the beginning of Year 8, that's fist year high school for us. I was almost 12 years old and puberty was in full swing. One of the bigger kids told me that I was going to do his maths homework for him or he'd beat the crap out of me and gave me all his school books.

I didn't stand up to him at the time with all his mates standing around but on my way home I had time to think. People had always picked on me and I was used to getting beaten up for nothing. Why would this time be any different? And then I realised that if that was going to keep happening anyway then there was no point in me being someone else's (b) witch.

I walked past the back of the fish and chip shop and dropped all of his books in the dumpster.

The next day before school he asked me where his homework was and I told him I threw it in a dumpster. Instead of beating me up he got all upset and went and told a teacher, who sent both of us to see the headmaster. I got the cane across my hands twice for destruction of school property, but he let me stay and watch while the other kid got 20 for "using threats and coercion to obtain goods or services, a crime punishable with jail for adults".

I was grinning from ear to ear the whole way through this, even while getting caned, I knew I'd won. That kid never bothered me again and all the other kids started leaving me alone a bit more after that.

Why? How does that work?

You have to understand what motivates a bully. It's their perception of their own social standing. When that kid demanded I do his homework for him he deliberately did so in front of all his friends. That's what the whole exercise was really all about for him, showing his friends how big and tough he is by pushing the school square around.

In his dream scenario I would have showed up to school the next day with his completed homework - a graphic demonstration of abasement and appeasement in front of his friends. What he got was 5 cuts of the cane across his hands, 5 across the backs of his legs and another 10 on his backside. When we came out of the headmaster's office I was grinning from ear to ear and he was crying. He also couldn't sit down and couldn't hold a pen and had to go home, much to the amusement of all of his "friends".

And that's when I learnt that the best way to take down a bully is by public humiliation. To them it's all about their perception of their social standing. They do what they do to impress their friends, if instead their friends all end up laughing at them and calling them a wanker then in their own minds they have lost social standing instead of gaining it. A lesson they won't repeat.

 

[NB79]

I had some bullies, once i felt treathened and left the whole class, later i came back, happened the teacher forced everyone to stay past school hour. Another times i just endured the insults,
but one time, this kid was harassing me so much, that in one moment or ire, i grabbed him by the throat and beat him, they later invited me to their home, maybe to see how i hurt his face, he was full of cuts, the other kids said i fought like a girl with my nails because of that but i didn't the cuts were because of the punches.

 

[lunarious]

Being victim has bad reputation, but victim is better than being bully. We want to get rid of Violence.

It's not cool how good i am to hurt others.

 

[Crossbreed]

When I was around some women who we knew to gossip about us at our children's school, I so much wanted to sample this scene from The Music Man* (1962),...

Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little; Hermione Gingold & The Biddys

*Musical theater solves everything!

 

[Hazel_1914]

The first time I ever stood up to a bully was at the beginning of Year 8, that's fist year high school for us. I was almost 12 years old and puberty was in full swing. One of the bigger kids told me that I was going to do his maths homework for him or he'd beat the crap out of me and gave me all his school books.

I didn't stand up to him at the time with all his mates standing around but on my way home I had time to think. People had always picked on me and I was used to getting beaten up for nothing. Why would this time be any different? And then I realised that if that was going to keep happening anyway then there was no point in me being someone else's (b) witch.

I walked past the back of the fish and chip shop and dropped all of his books in the dumpster.

The next day before school he asked me where his homework was and I told him I threw it in a dumpster. Instead of beating me up he got all upset and went and told a teacher, who sent both of us to see the headmaster. I got the cane across my hands twice for destruction of school property, but he let me stay and watch while the other kid got 20 for "using threats and coercion to obtain goods or services, a crime punishable with jail for adults".

I was grinning from ear to ear the whole way through this, even while getting caned, I knew I'd won. That kid never bothered me again and all the other kids started leaving me alone a bit more after that.

Why? How does that work?

You have to understand what motivates a bully. It's their perception of their own social standing. When that kid demanded I do his homework for him he deliberately did so in front of all his friends. That's what the whole exercise was really all about for him, showing his friends how big and tough he is by pushing the school square around.

In his dream scenario I would have showed up to school the next day with his completed homework - a graphic demonstration of abasement and appeasement in front of his friends. What he got was 5 cuts of the cane across his hands, 5 across the backs of his legs and another 10 on his backside. When we came out of the headmaster's office I was grinning from ear to ear and he was crying. He also couldn't sit down and couldn't hold a pen and had to go home, much to the amusement of all of his "friends".

And that's when I learnt that the best way to take down a bully is by public humiliation. To them it's all about their perception of their social standing. They do what they do to impress their friends, if instead their friends all end up laughing at them and calling them a wanker then in their own minds they have lost social standing instead of gaining it. A lesson they won't repeat.

I did this the other day to a guy who was throwing the Nazi salute at me at work and pestering me. I don't trust him because I've heard him say some pretty vile things about people and also caught him out as a hypocrite.

He doesn't know I'm actively transitioning, everyone at work thinks I am a strange-looking man with long hair.

Dude wouldn't let me be even after I did tell him to F off, so I walked up to him in front of his friends next time he did it and chewed him out whilst holding a large crowbar like you would tear down buildings with. I implied I would knock him down if he ever started that again.

He hasn't Siegged nor Heiled since and the last time he said hello I pointed a plasma cutting torch in his direction and turned on the current, saying if he starts again I'll weld his pecker shut.
The other people laughed at him, and he hasn't bothered me since.

Turns out no one else likes him either and I am considered lower on the totem pole than he so I was an easier target. People now think I'm cool and he's still not well liked, mostly just tolerated.

Anyway yeah I agree with Outdated. Hillbilly HR just kinda proves it.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I was wondering if anyone else relates to this response.
For example, when I was probably about 10 or 11 someone bullied me for refusing to do something by calling me a chicken. I knew the term and what it meant and I know that the expected response would be to succumb to the peer pressure or at least get hurt or defensive or something of that nature. My response was to proceed to act like a chicken and then ended up busting out laughing when the bully got confused and perhaps even embarrassed as anticipated.
Later at job sites, if someone mocks me or hits me with something and things like that I largely ignore them, keep doing my work and looking for the positive things. I would sometimes start noticing the puzzled looks and might even get a comment about how I should be mad. Everyone's expressions end up amusing me. You can tell everyone is confused and the biggest irony is that some of them will even looked scared and for what? I was just working at my work assignment. They were the one that did something against me. I didn't do anything back and have absolutely no intention of doing so yet they are the ones standing around looking nervous and commenting to each other about thinking I might be dangerous even though I have done nothing to appear dangerous but am merely doing my job as expected by management.This amuses me and I laugh pretty easy and can have trouble getting it entirely under control and somehow getting amused is one of the things that triggers an energy spike so I may begin to do my work with gusto and frequently escaping snickers and giggles. Later when someone that was not present comes around and asks me about it I will tell them what the person did and then declare that the people think I am "mad" because I am not angry and then I giggle more.

I was "jumped" by a bully in a bathroom in 5th grade (he was a 6th grader). I had already learned by then to suppress pain, and as he was pummeling me, I literally wasn't feeling it, so I didn't react at all.

He didn't like that, so he punched harder, but I still didn't react. The puzzled look on his face was so funny I started laughing.

He ended up walking away shaking his head and saying "you're weird".

 

[Crossbreed]

...by pushing the school square around...

Square...? When building, a triangle has more stability.
Trigon sounds more [melo?]dramatic, though.

 

[Hazel_1914]

Immediately thought of this when you posted @Crossbreed

 

[Outdated]

so I walked up to him in front of his friends next time he did it and chewed him out

That's the important factor, it was in front of everyone else.

In normal workplace conflicts the correct thing to do is to pull someone to one side and speak to them privately, but that has no effect on a bully, it's meaningless to them. What they want is their ego flattered, you need to give them the opposite of that.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I was wondering if anyone else relates to this response.
For example, when I was probably about 10 or 11 someone bullied me for refusing to do something by calling me a chicken. I knew the term and what it meant and I know that the expected response would be to succumb to the peer pressure or at least get hurt or defensive or something of that nature. My response was to proceed to act like a chicken and then ended up busting out laughing when the bully got confused and perhaps even embarrassed as anticipated.
Later at job sites, if someone mocks me or hits me with something and things like that I largely ignore them, keep doing my work and looking for the positive things. I would sometimes start noticing the puzzled looks and might even get a comment about how I should be mad. Everyone's expressions end up amusing me. You can tell everyone is confused and the biggest irony is that some of them will even looked scared and for what? I was just working at my work assignment. They were the one that did something against me. I didn't do anything back and have absolutely no intention of doing so yet they are the ones standing around looking nervous and commenting to each other about thinking I might be dangerous even though I have done nothing to appear dangerous but am merely doing my job as expected by management.This amuses me and I laugh pretty easy and can have trouble getting it entirely under control and somehow getting amused is one of the things that triggers an energy spike so I may begin to do my work with gusto and frequently escaping snickers and giggles. Later when someone that was not present comes around and asks me about it I will tell them what the person did and then declare that the people think I am "mad" because I am not angry and then I giggle more.

Ahhh... the beauty of a neurodivergent mind.

Conformity and rules... and this mostly applies to human behavior and cultural and societal norms... where the "normies" have sort of boxed themselves into some social construct of what should be expected as a response... as well as how we should behave. Along comes someone like you... like me... like many of us on this forum... people with some sense of the laws, rules, guidelines, etc... but then are always challenging them in our own ways. I totally get where you are coming from. "People with autism should hide it." No... let them know about my autism (challenging their perception of it)... that I can not only do what you do, but in some cases, better... and when I can't... have the humility and humor about one's self to quickly point it out and ask. We sometimes get too wrapped up in our egos to not have that sense of humor or ask for help.

I've been working with a great team of people for nearly 40 years... a lot of strong egos in the medical field. My "out-of-the-box" thinking has caused some people to give me some strange looks and challenged their thinking. It used to bother me... I used to be self conscious... now, I sometimes do it FOR the reaction, because I find it rather humorous myself. I like to see just how boxed in their thinking really is... or not.

 

[velociraptor]

I find bluntness works. I just pointed out the bully would win the first fight, but I would win the rest.

"You have to sleep sometime and I am VERY patient."