I don't know if this will become a repeating thing because i'm 17 but, here's what happened in a nutshell. I liked a girl, was romantically attracted to her; but i never had the courage or whatever to really talk with her about this. (actually talking about anything with her was an mission impossible for me as things stand.) I had 9 whole months to talk with her but i never did, i wasn't able to do it. And in June, it was the last at school and i saw her for the last time. As you guess, i couldn't talk to her that day as well.
During these 9 months, we had social interactions. But when these were happening, i was never able to understand them. Never been able to see what she was trying to do or what should have i done. Here is an simple example. She says she can't see the board from her desk and she wants to sit with me during the math class. I get frustrated when she talks to me, just being able to say, "Yeah, sure.". Trough the math class, i'm completely numb, like my brain is empty, i can't focus to the class, i can't focus on my own feelings, i can't read anyone's facial expression. Class ends, i go to the home and boom! It all hits me in the face; "she showed her interest!", "of course she could see the board from her desk!", "i should've talked to her!" But next day, nothing changes i'm the same empty brained idiot. I start to think like, "was it all in my head or something?" Long story short, i feel bad for missing to opportunity to connect. İ'm getting disappointed.
And now, i'm experiencing the ultimate disappointment. "I will never see her again!", "I missed the opportunity!"
Now it's al blurry for me. Did she really like me, or did ı have an imaginary relationship with her? I do regret.