Reeling a little here . . .

[FriedFrogLegs]

I've always been very different and have had a hard time relating and socializing with others. I knew I was far from normal and spent many of my teenage years searching for a label. Fast forward to my thirties I'm a wife and a mother and my husband is a saint for putting up with me. Last night I stumbled onto Temple Grandin's TED Talk on the three different kinds of thinkers, I saw a lot of myself in her description of pattern thinkers. I can't function during the day if I don't have music playing. I become quite agitated if it is messed with. There are many other things but I'm trying not to ramble too much. So in my bid to find info on pattern thinkers on understand myself and just maybe learn coping skills, I stumble onto an aspie blog. It has a link to the aspie/nt quiz that I take out of pure curiosity. I'm floored when it gives me an aspie score of 165/200 and an NT score of 48/200. This explains soo soo much. I could never fit in school and even now I avoid social interactions even with ppl I care deeply about due to my awkwardness. I've since taken a separate Asperger's test that also said "Yep, you just might be an aspie." I am having a really hard time processing this. I'm relieved to finally have answers and I look forward to learn how you all have learned to cope. But what does this mean for my small child whose mother is far from NT?

 

[wyverary]

Well, I am really glad you found us! I don't know anything about parenting, but there are plenty of parents here who can help you out on that front.

Welcome!
Wyv

 

[Arashi222]

Hi. I am glad you found us. I would suggest maybe considering getting a formal diagnosis but it is amazing when you realize that your whole life finally makes sense and how you interact with the world.

 

[FriedFrogLegs]

Thank you Wyv, I really appreciate it.

 

[FriedFrogLegs]

Arashi, thank you. And yes, it is pretty amazing to finally have an answer. I am a little concerned about repercussions down the road from being diagnosed on the spectrum. I know that's paranoia talking but it is a real concern.

 

[XAND]

But what does this mean for my small child whose mother is far from NT?

It means that the mother is far from NT. That is no threat to the relationship you have to your child, assuming that you love it. What about whether the child is shown to have AS eventually? You will be the ultimate source of help for your child, then.

The concerns are understandable, but they can be addressed, and the paranoia is baseless. You do what you can to mitigate the negative aspects of your unique neurological makeup, and you celebrate the positive ones.

Get your husband engaged with this particular discovery, and make yourself an ally as you learn more. I am in a similar situation, now with 13 and 10 year old daughters. The younger has mild ADHD and the older is NT. I love them immensely, and they love me in return, and my uniqueness is not a barrier.

Be encouraged—I am encouraged for you.

 

[Ereth]

As others have said, learn more about yourself, seek a professional diagnosis just in case, and don't fear what this means for your child. Some things may indeed be difficult, but I am sure that with the right support, you'll be just fine.

Welcome to AspiesCentral!

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

 

[Turk]

Welcome frogs legs. How you felt about your child before your diagnosis, is how you will afterwards. In fact they are very therapeutic to us. They extend us in ways, that are not, sometimes discovered, otherwise Rest assured raising a child is just as difficult for an NT, as they are for us. Cos they come with no god dam instructions. As Xand suggests as you involve your family more, the journey will become easier.
Cheers
Turk

 

[nowwhat]

Welcome, FFL (if I may). I am a 48 year old man, married 23 years, and have kids 15 and 17, and they are exceptional. And yes, my wife is saint material, as well. There is a little friction with the younger, my son, but that's largely due to father/son teen stuff, and partly due to my being on/off depressive for a couple of years now. No parents are perfect, and many NT individuals are horrible parents, so love your kids as best you can, and know that even in this, much is out of your hands. Don't overthink it and stress out about it. You will do fine. We get you here. Please come back and share as often as you like. This is one place where you will rarely be misunderstood, and where you will get what others are on about.

 

[Warwick C]

Welcome to Aspie Central Fried frog legs. you have taken a large step to your self dicovery by joining this forum. It is very supportive, with a wide age range and every one is on a different level of experience.

Plus you have just joined at a good time, alot of us are relearning the site after a major upgrade (which easier for some of us).

 

[FriedFrogLegs]

I'm overwhelmed by the warm welcome! And Turk, ain't that the truth! I look forward to getting to know you all and I'm grateful for a place like this. I do need to start seeing my doctor again and I'll bring my results to the Aspie-Quiz. She's pretty thorough in her job. My husband seems a little bewildered by the possibility but he's not surprised and he's being supportive. You guys are awesome. I look forward to getting to know you all.

 

[Turk]

On another point legs, but I dont know if it applys to everyone. As you will find out, usually a special interest to us, is something we a particularly good at. In my case, my son was my special interest. All the things I had problems with as an aspie, like conversation, conflict and eye contact, didnt seem to apply when bringing up my son. It can be a strange condition. So my point is, if you children are really important to you and they become your special interest, in all likeliness, you''ll be a better parent, than the average NT. A

 

[FriedFrogLegs]

Thanks for the tip, Turk. My daughter definitely gives me a lot to talk about. She's a spunky lil monster. She's smart as a whip and isn't happy unless everyone around her is smiling. She is 15 months old. Before she came along I did a lot of crafting, mainly jewelry and candle making and pre hubby I spend every moment I wasn't at work playing a couple MMO's. I met my husband on WoW. That was 5 yrs ago and now I'm a stay at home mom and a Sunday school teacher for 1st and 2nd graders.

 

[Warwick C]

You will certainly fit in here, there are a lot of crafty(making) members here.

 

[Warwick C]

Hi fried frog legs, How are you finding the forum?

 

[FriedFrogLegs]

Heya Warwick. Thanks for checking in with me. Weekends are usually crazy for me. I've been reading when I can but lil miss gets up in arms when she catches me on my phone. I'm so grateful to find this group. In the last couple days a lot of things have really started making sense. Bah, the lil one is waking up, I'll be back later!

 

[mamajulia]

I've always been very different and have had a hard time relating and socializing with others. I knew I was far from normal and spent many of my teenage years searching for a label. Fast forward to my thirties I'm a wife and a mother and my husband is a saint for putting up with me. Last night I stumbled onto Temple Grandin's TED Talk on the three different kinds of thinkers, I saw a lot of myself in her description of pattern thinkers. I can't function during the day if I don't have music playing. I become quite agitated if it is messed with. There are many other things but I'm trying not to ramble too much. So in my bid to find info on pattern thinkers on understand myself and just maybe learn coping skills, I stumble onto an aspie blog. It has a link to the aspie/nt quiz that I take out of pure curiosity. I'm floored when it gives me an aspie score of 165/200 and an NT score of 48/200. This explains soo soo much. I could never fit in school and even now I avoid social interactions even with ppl I care deeply about due to my awkwardness. I've since taken a separate Asperger's test that also said "Yep, you just might be an aspie." I am having a really hard time processing this. I'm relieved to finally have answers and I look forward to learn how you all have learned to cope. But what does this mean for my small child whose mother is far from NT?

I would bet you are already a good mother. Don't be too upset about your score; if you've reached your thirties and formed close relationships and achieved other markers of adulthood, it sounds as if you are doing just fine. I'm 55 and have managed all that in spite of challenges. I'm even going back to school to start a new career. So, keep trying, keep thriving and best wishes for a happy future for you and your family.

Mamajulia