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Really need some direction

flawedplan

flawedplan

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Howdy, happy new year, it's been a while. I haven't asked for help in a long time but I don't know where else to go and this is ridiculously big and complex, I don't expect a resolution, just some idea if we are on the right track.

My boyfriend is autistic and he has had his own bike shop for almost 30 years and it is failing. On his YELP page people call him creepy, weird, nasty, greedy, bitter, impossible to deal with and all the rest. Out of 36 YELP reviews eight are favorable 5 star, the rest are 1 or 2 star. Almost all reviews focus on his PERSONALITY, and the interaction experienced by the consumer, whether disagreeable or pleasant. The positive reviews stick up for him. The negative views are like mini novellas, describing his behavior at length to my own eyes as scroogelike, petty and just plain cringe-worthy.

As an aside, I've been his sweetheart for a few years and am well aware of his dark side. He is on a healing journey. He didn't even know he was on the spectrum until we became a couple, though he suspected it all his life. Now he knows what's going on, is receiving services, and we are both learning how to navigate our mixed relationship.

Back to the business. It's in real trouble. And he is just now coming to grips with things. Since 80% of potential customers look at reviews before going to a store, I have no doubt YELP is destroying his bike shop. We have been kicking around the idea of making a statement on his review page acknowledging his autism. And maybe put a sign up in the shop to keep people from freaking out when he stims or gets caught up in a fixed routine to the exclusion of all other environmental stimuli.

I have written up a blurb, but wow, what a step. My first thought is would the autism community want to claim him, given how terrible his overall reputation. I am more worried than he is about "stereotype threat" (a thing from disability studies) if he is going to be an out of the closet autist while still acting like a public jerk. But explaining himself might save his business. And invite autistic-friendly clientele to his shop.

Of course I wish he'd sell his inventory and get a regular job. But I'm going to stand by him til the bitter end. Onward, in courage and valor.
 
Isn't Yelp! a voluntary thing for a business to be a part of? Or do other people just add him on there? If that's the case, he can't have it removed?
 
Nope, Yelp and review sites like Google, Facebook, Yellow Pages, Dex, Trip Advisor, RipOff Report, BBB, etc., all have the right (in the USA) to legally store and display user-created content without being liable for its content. My man is really smart about certain things but does not quite grasp how much weight people place on interpersonal experiences. I'm trying!
 
Sadly, when you enter business which requires customer service/interaction one has to fit a mold of "professionalism" as defined by what the public perception is used to.

To fix this sullied reputation...

- Hire someone who is great with people.
- Change the name of the business and relist it.
- Promote it with a special sale.
when running the ad you may want to consider adding something like "Under new management"


*new* things + a sale attracts attention / customers and they'll be met with someone capable of pandering to all their needs. Yelp review average rating will go up.

Your boyfriend must work in the back or offsite. He may love working in the shop or interacting with customers but at this rate it isn't helping anyone. When he's further along on his healing journey then perhaps he can go back into the fray.

As crappy as this sounds... people are looking to buy a bike when checking out yelp reviews for his shop, not to learn about autism. If those people have a surface level understanding it may even drive away their business.
 
Is your fella the "Dad" of the place? If so he's not the one promoting the bad reviews in general. It's the people who are perceived as his "sons" who appear not to be meeting expectations. I won't place fake reviews but I do want to help you/him to improve this situation. If my observations are correct then maybe it's his boys who are upsetting the applecart?
 
That 1 review, lambasting his "sons" and saying the DAD is the real draw of the place is quite a blessing, making him look so good. He has one son who pitches in now and then.The boy has impeccable manners but doesn't know as much about bikes as his Dad.

I appreciate the feedback.

The scorched earth/start over approach would work. I wonder if we could do something less drastic. We must not make it about teaching people, and I do have that didactic chip. He needs to engage these people and seize the discourse. For the sake of his own sense of self. They are defining him, poorly, because they have insufficient data, and that's what our brains do when there are gaps -- we fill it with negativity. Why doesn't he just tell the short, sweet truth? This could be transformative for him. There might be self-stigma going on that this action alone would nip in the bud. And I still believe as long as people have some idea about what's going on with an eccentric they're good, they're perfectly satisfied, and may even want to learn more about them. We live in a time of identity politics, so outing him as an autistic storeowner would make him a man of his times. Anyways. I'll shut up now.
 
I understand your point and your perspective but it's not always easy. Disclosing autism can hurt an individual as much as it can help....

 
There are actually people who are professional image restores especially if the negative information is on the web.

Mucho bucks I am sure. Maybe if our first names start with a-g we would write positive reviews one week, then h-m the next... so it isn't just a glut of positive reviews.

Unfortunately, all you need is one hating customer or former worker to generate the bad reviews.

I can' speak for anyone else, but I can write a couple of positive reviews. I have different email accounts and access to computer in two places.
 
Generating a slew of fake positive reviews won't fix the situation occurring in the store. Hdphn33's suggestion is the most viable one. Your boyfriend's store needs someone on the sales floor who is great with people. Changing the name of the business wouldn't hurt. Most customers wouldn't realize it was the same store with the same owner if someone different was helping them with their purchase. Changing the name would also disassociate the store from prior negative reviews.

Letting the public know about your boyfriend's autism is an interesting idea. It would certainly be risky, but you are in Austin. If there is anywhere in your state that openly acknowledging autism would be successful its in Austin. However, no matter how accepting people are, if they get treated better in a different shop, then they will buy their next bike at that other shop.
 
I didn’t think the negative reviews were that bad. They sounded like isolated incidents. The reviews seemed to get better over time too.
 
He IS improving customer relations over time. I so relate to his dilemma. I have a diagnosed personality disorder myself and before recovery, decades ago I was a public figure and capable of being a total asshole with radio listeners. Growing up and good supportive therapy goes a long way and I see him evolving, I have faith he can turn this around.

I know that Autism Speaks sponsors local business in Austin every year, offering "Autism Friendly" store signage, T-shirts and sponsorship in their bike run. If we could get them to take up his store that would be grand but no luck so far.

My man just applied for a business loan, if it goes through we're going to put our heads together and try something. Seems to me a 30 year old store is almost a historical landmark and has earned its place, warts and all...
 
Whilst I appreciate that the financial assistance would be welcome, association with Autism $peaks would alienate you from much of the autistic community so I wouldn't recommend it. It could end up with the store being picketed or proscribed by the very people you are hoping to reach out to.
 
I had a look at those reviews, and a lot of them were very contradictory, some very petty and vindictive in nature. Not all the issues raised were not specifically related to autism or communication issues - one was about the a card not being accepted by the machine, another about pricing, another about there not being anyone in the shop when the customer entered... these are issues that can be fixed or looked into. Many of these things have happened to me at some point... I've been to a store and their scanner didn't read my card, I've walked into shops where the owner was out the back working on something, that's something normal and to be expected for a repair shop... the difference being that I don't have the urge to go home and write a bad review because of this one incident. That's just petty meanness on their part.

My suggestions would be similar to those of others - revamp the store, give it a makeover and a new name, clear away those old newspapers, hire staff if you can afford it to deal with customers, you could perhaps help out, especially during busy times... have a bell and a sign that reads that customers should ring the bell for service, have some coffee, tea and cookies available, a couple of seats, give them tea or coffee and ask them to take a seat while they are waiting for their bike to be fixed... things like this don't invlove a lot of interaction and can help give a friendly vibe.
 
Please please please make your own autistic friendly sign

And not one through Auti$m $peaks.
 
I hope I did not sound harsh concerning your boyfriend’s character. If I did it was not my intention. I recognize that it is possible for him to improve his customer relation skills, but it is impossible to get rid of autism. I was thinking very practically about ways to help the business without expecting your boyfriend to become someone he is not.

At my last job I was good at putting on a friendly face and being curteous to customers while on the sales floor. But when I was in the break room people would joke that I shouldn’t look so excited to be there because my facial expression made it obvious I would rather be anywhere else. I only talked to customers because I was being paid to do so.

On that note, perhaps thinking of treating customers kindly as an essential element of being paid would help your boyfriend think positively about doing so. When I was stocking shelves I had a tendency to think of needy customers as a nuisance, especially if I was having a bad day. When I remembered that their purchases were a part of why I was getting paid, it was easier to put a smile on my face and patiently help them with whatever they wanted.
 
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