Aww, thank you, that's so sweet!! Yes, that's my partner, Pekka... 11 days away from being my husband, actually
We are very happy together!
And it's nice to see you on here again. I was away for quite some time.
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Realizing you're autistic, how'd you react?
- Thread starter TouhouFan28
- Start date
We are very happy together!
And it's nice to see you on here again. I was away for quite some time.
vergil96
Well-Known Member
The diagnosis was an very unpleasant surprise for me. I started to doubt my own judgement and unneccesarily. I don't know if it was needed at all. It helped in the way that I got to learn about where my panic attacks come from (overstimulation - crowd, light, loud sounds etc.) and how to prevent them. All the stress from overstimulation gave me depression too. And a constant feeling of being on edge. My mental health is a lot better now and I'm a calmer person. However, I think a casual observation and awareness of neurodiversity just in general and support about my sensitivity level would be better than throwing the autism label on me and stereotyping me in all kinds of ways that don't fit me at all.
There is also the hearing loss going on for me... I wonder why that was dismissed the whole time. The autism diagnosis drew my attention to disability topics, but ultimately a lot of what I'm dealing with wasn't autism. I think the way disability is handled in the medical system is cheap and ableist. Interestingly, even if you want to pay a lot of money out of your own pocket, the access to assistive devices is very poor. Because of either negative prejudiced attitudes (hearing aids make you deaf kind of thinking or a truly medieval approach - devices are evil!) or a serious and extremely harmful case of greed and laziness on the part of the professionals. It really shouldn't be taking place, imagine that someone had trouble reading, it made their life difficult and was refused a prescription for glasses over and over again for arbitrary reasons and would hear "why WoULd YoU wEar wIREs on Ya FaCE, it's uncomfortable!" from a real doctor. That's so dumb and backwards. Ugh!
There is also the hearing loss going on for me... I wonder why that was dismissed the whole time. The autism diagnosis drew my attention to disability topics, but ultimately a lot of what I'm dealing with wasn't autism. I think the way disability is handled in the medical system is cheap and ableist. Interestingly, even if you want to pay a lot of money out of your own pocket, the access to assistive devices is very poor. Because of either negative prejudiced attitudes (hearing aids make you deaf kind of thinking or a truly medieval approach - devices are evil!) or a serious and extremely harmful case of greed and laziness on the part of the professionals. It really shouldn't be taking place, imagine that someone had trouble reading, it made their life difficult and was refused a prescription for glasses over and over again for arbitrary reasons and would hear "why WoULd YoU wEar wIREs on Ya FaCE, it's uncomfortable!" from a real doctor. That's so dumb and backwards. Ugh!
I was self-diagnosed. I guess this makes a difference for many people. I never knew about autism throughout my life until 2019. I come from a community that is very backwards. I was diagnosed as mentally retarded. Unfortunately, in my school, in my family and in my community being different in any way was not tolerated. So, I was bullied a lot – almost continuously. My father and many others bullied me for recreation. My school had no accommodations for my condition, nor any empathy or compassion. Being like me was not tolerated so I was punished a lot. The harder I tried to be normal the worse it got. I felt profoundly defective. I was made to believe that I should be ashamed to be me. I have spent most of my life suicidal, desperately wanting out of this world where I do not belong. I don’t even understand how I am still here.
As mentioned, I learned about autism in 2019. It was extremely monumental for me. It was a discovery that I am not alone being like me and that there is even a word for my condition. Some say that a diagnosis is not really valid unless a licensed, trained doctor makes the diagnosis. Well, I disagree. Here is my analogy: If you suffer a terrible fall and feel an excruciating pain in your leg, then you look down and see that your leg is bent halfway between you knee and your ankle – then you do not need any doctor’s diagnosis to tell you that you have a broken leg. Well, my autism is “broken leg” level obvious.
My reaction? I was awe struck. It was a profound revelation. It was an answer. It was a relief to know that I am not alone and there are others like me and - and that being me is not shameful. And that all my life, the only issue was just the bigotry of my backwards community. I deeply envied many of the other kids in school. “Why can’t I be like them?” Well, those years are now history, but I recently looked them up. I found they all lead very unremarkable lives. I feel I did much better, career wise. I now feel much better about myself. I no longer feel defective. Instead, I feel like a perfectly normal autistic person.
As mentioned, I learned about autism in 2019. It was extremely monumental for me. It was a discovery that I am not alone being like me and that there is even a word for my condition. Some say that a diagnosis is not really valid unless a licensed, trained doctor makes the diagnosis. Well, I disagree. Here is my analogy: If you suffer a terrible fall and feel an excruciating pain in your leg, then you look down and see that your leg is bent halfway between you knee and your ankle – then you do not need any doctor’s diagnosis to tell you that you have a broken leg. Well, my autism is “broken leg” level obvious.
My reaction? I was awe struck. It was a profound revelation. It was an answer. It was a relief to know that I am not alone and there are others like me and - and that being me is not shameful. And that all my life, the only issue was just the bigotry of my backwards community. I deeply envied many of the other kids in school. “Why can’t I be like them?” Well, those years are now history, but I recently looked them up. I found they all lead very unremarkable lives. I feel I did much better, career wise. I now feel much better about myself. I no longer feel defective. Instead, I feel like a perfectly normal autistic person.
I was perfectly fine with the diagnosis as it made a lot of things make so much more sense to me.
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I'm afraid of my diagnosis and it's driving me crazy.
- Started by vitorlamounier
- Replies: 18
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