Questions about Disorders I maybe have or don't have

[Oz67]

When I was a toddler, the doctors thought and suspected that I might have Mental Retardation Unspecified. I was wondering how I came from that to intelligent. I don't even understand how you cam be diagnosed with neurodevelopmental disorders before starting school.

Even my school psychologist, counselor and even nurses from the mental hospital said that I don't have Intellectual Disability, they explained that I am very intelligent and learn things differently, due to Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I am sorry for using this term, it was used as a medical word long time ago. I am sorry!

 

[Oz67]

I used to have Fregoli related delusion in the past, but I still knew right from wrong.

When I had a delusional belief that I killed a child when I was a child, I still knew right from wrong.

When I had delusions of grandeur, I was mean to my friends, but I didn't understand that it was immoral at that time.

But, when I had a delusional belief that the currupted military police is going after me, my paranoid delusions got worse and was once violent, because I thought I was defending myself. I was 15 at that time and didn't understand right from wrong.

As an adult, I sometimes have homicidal delusionl beliefs on my former bullies, but I still understand that there are legal consequences, if I acted on my homicidal delusions.

Is it normal that I understand what is legal and illegal to do as an adult, even when I am sometimes delusional? I feel like I learned a lot over the years.

 

[Fino]

I think delusions can run along any spectrum and so understanding legalities would be easily within the realm of possibility.

 

[Oz67]

I think delusions can run along any spectrum and so understanding legalities would be easily within the realm of possibility.

That makes sense.

 

[Aspychata]

Think what l want to ask you is l understand that you know that it is illegal to harm another person in any physical way. But l want to know, do you know that if you did anything to your bullies, you have brought yourself down to their level, and become a bully yourself instead of just letting go of these thoughts?

Do you understand no matter how angry you may have been, that emulating their behavior doesn't solve anything. It maybe better to understand how it made you feel and understand how you can work thru these feelings and talk about how you felt. We all have stories that we talk about and release those feelings of anger, sadness, etc.

 

[Oz67]

Think what l want to ask you is l understand that you know that it is illegal to harm another person in any physical way. But l want to know, do you know that if you did anything to your bullies, you have brought yourself down to their level, and become a bully yourself instead of just letting go of these thoughts?

I feel bad, because I feel hypocritical, but I copied their behavior and let it out on my former friends, and had a belief that I am more intelligent than them. Kind of like narcissistic behavior.

 

[Aspychata]

But the important thing is that you are discussing it, and seeing yourself and how you reacted. That's very important. We only mature by talking about things, understanding we aren't perfect, and remembering to ask for help if we are having a hard time staying reality based.

So maybe you did somethings you may not be proud of. But life is a learning process for all of us. It's hard, but you are maturing. And learning not to beat yourself up.

 

[Oz67]

But the important thing is that you are discussing it, and seeing yourself and how you reacted. That's very important. We only mature by talking about things, understanding we aren't perfect, and remembering to ask for help if we are having a hard time staying reality based.

I agree. Thank you!

 

[velociraptor]

Do you understand no matter how angry you may have been, that emulating their behavior doesn't solve anything. It maybe better to understand how it made you feel and understand how you can work thru these feelings and talk about how you felt.

I'd also add that continuing to harbor unresolved anger and resentment gives the people who bullied us in the past power over us in the present. Not worth the pain. I got tired of carrying my own resentments around and did extensive therapy to get rid of them. I feel alive again as a result.

 

[Oz67]

I'd also add that continuing to harbor unresolved anger and resentment gives the people who bullied us in the past power over us in the present. Not worth the pain. I got tired of carrying my own resentments around and did extensive therapy to get rid of them. I feel alive again as a result.

I have a school psychologist, counselor and psychiatrist to talk to, when I need help.

 

[Oz67]

What I thought is Conduct Disorder Unspecified is Bipolar, because throughout my childhood, I would behave in antisocial ways temporarily until I get depressed as Cyclothymic symptoms, at age 15, it turned into Bipolar Disorder

I thought that I have Conduct Disorder Unspecified, but maybe it's a differential diagnosis.