Question regarding a symptom

[TryingToUnderstand]

Hello! I've been scouring the internet for an answer on this Symptom. My boyfriend's brother is dating a 37 year old women who says she has autism. She never explained or warned us about it, nor does she want to talk about it. The only symptom she told me she has is saying mean things about people or telling it to their face. She never warns us if it is her autistic outburst or not. She'll only say it if someone gets genuinely upset and confront her about it. She is apathetic, she only treats anyone the brother knows this way. She is a sex worker and a domme so she is constantly talking to people. She has nothing wrong with motor skills or have tics. She somehow joined in the military. She not sensitive to lights or noises. She functions perfectly besides that one symptom. Is this a symptom? Or not.

 

[dragonfire42]

Sometimes someone on the autism spectrum will be “brutally honest,” not understanding why the other person might not want to hear the truth. Sometimes we will say whatever pops into our heads without thinking about it first. And sometimes we don’t realize that what we said might offend or upset someone else. But I say that having Asperger’s/autism is no excuse to be a jerk or to be obnoxious. Some people do try to pass things off as misunderstandings due to them being on the autism spectrum. Some of this may even be true. But just because we don’t instinctively know that something might upset or offend does not mean we can’t learn. For example, if I get a negative reaction to something I said, I try to figure out what was hurtful or offensive about it, and if I truly can’t tell, I ask, because I don’t want to make the same mistake again. That, I think, is where the difference between truly not knowing and deliberately being a jerk and trying to pass it off as a symptom of autism lies, is whether the person makes any attempt to correct their mistake or avoid similar mistakes in the future once they realize they have accidentally upset someone.

 

[Tom]

That is way too little information to say much. But even if we had pages of info, it is really hard to figure out if someone has ASD1. It takes a pretty in-depth analysis.

But for the record plenty of neurotypical people are agressive verbally, and it is not actually a symptom of autism. A person on the spectrum might be inadvertantly blunt, not fully thinking ahead or understanding the effect of the words, but it is only some and not universal among autistics.

If there is anger/malice behind the words it is likely something else going on which can occur with either a neurotypical or autistic person.

 

[Juliettaa]

Hello! I've been scouring the internet for an answer on this Symptom. My boyfriend's brother is dating a 37 year old women who says she has autism. She never explained or warned us about it, nor does she want to talk about it. The only symptom she told me she has is saying mean things about people or telling it to their face. She never warns us if it is her autistic outburst or not. She'll only say it if someone gets genuinely upset and confront her about it. She is apathetic, she only treats anyone the brother knows this way. She is a sex worker and a domme so she is constantly talking to people. She has nothing wrong with motor skills or have tics. She somehow joined in the military. She not sensitive to lights or noises. She functions perfectly besides that one symptom. Is this a symptom? Or not.

There's no requirement to explain or 'warn' anyone about being on the autism spectrum and it's a person's prerogative if they don't want to talk about themselves, autism or not.

However, her behaviour as explained above is not confined to people who are autistic.

Your boyfriend's brother must find something attractive about her otherwise he'd end the relationship.

 

[unperson]

Borderline pd can say really mean things. With autism it's often unintended.

 

[menander]

Her lone symptom relating to the Diagnosis of Autism is analogous to the dollar I have in my wallet making me a millionaire.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

The more I think about this the less I buy it. The only personal example I can think of is something I said as a joke and then realized it was more nasty than funny. We say inappropriate things, not offensive things. One example I can think of is a coworker who was divorced from a Japanese woman. He was teaching us some Japanese words and included something nasty in Japanese. So I said something like "it must have been a nasty divorce, huh". Oops, that didn't go over well.

Also, I'm surprised she would say she has "autism" instead of asperger's. I think she likes to be shocking in many ways. Hard so say if she has ASD if she won't even discuss it.