Question about prosecutory beliefs and lack of social skills

[Oz67]

I sometimes have prosecutory beliefs, due to misinterpreting some social cues.

I have been wondering if misunderstanding social cues and prosecutory beliefs or prosecutory delusions are similar.

 

[tree]

By "prosecutory" do you mean something like thinking people are being mean to you,
want you to suffer, are following you around, spying on you, talking about you...
stuff like that?

Persecution?

 

[Oz67]

By "prosecutory" do you mean something like thinking people are being mean to you,
want you to suffer, are following you around, spying on you, talking about you...
stuff like that?

Persecution?

Yes, that's what I meant.

 

[Aspychata]

My go-to is to simply ask people to clarify if they are talking to me and l don't understand what they are trying to say. I don't try to interpret what complete strangers are doing, l ignore that because people can just act stupid in general.

So are you describing random occurrences or people directly talking to you? Just curious.

 

[AutistAcolyte]

i was going to clarify as well, thank you, @tree

oren, even without knowing anything about you, i think its very unlikely that people are "out to get you."

let me know if my experience is similar to yours: i don't often have an idea about someone's intent behind their behavior, but especially if my experience of that behavior is negative (e.g. "john said/did this thing and it made me feel bad") i find that it is easy for me to attribute a negative intent to that behavior (e.g. "john was trying to hurt my feelings by saying/doing this thing")

more often than not, if i clarify the situation by sharing my experience with the other person, i find out that they did not intend to hurt me. i know it's very difficult to do this, but i suggest you try it the next time this sort of situation arises.

 

[Oz67]

i was going to clarify as well, thank you, @tree

oren, even without knowing anything about you, i think its very unlikely that people are "out to get you."

let me know if my experience is similar to yours: i don't often have an idea about someone's intent behind their behavior, but especially if my experience of that behavior is negative (e.g. "john said/did this thing and it made me feel bad") i find that it is easy for me to attribute a negative intent to that behavior (e.g. "john was trying to hurt my feelings by saying/doing this thing")

more often than not, if i clarify the situation by sharing my experience with the other person, i find out that they did not intend to hurt me. i know it's very difficult to do this, but i suggest you try it the next time this sort of situation arises.

That makes sense.

 

[Oz67]

My go-to is to simply ask people to clarify if they are talking to me and l don't understand what they are trying to say. I don't try to interpret what complete strangers are doing, l ignore that because people can just act stupid in general.

So are you describing random occurrences or people directly talking to you? Just curious.

It's both.

 

[Aspychata]

So l guess misunderstanding social clues can go both ways. You can meet someone, and think, that person or persons really don't like me. I can meet the same group of people and think, hey these people are really weird, l wonder why they are so antisocial.

Person/people talking to you
You may think:
I feel persecuted, I think these people intend to harm me or be mean to me.

I may think:
I think these people are too bizarre for me, l think l will disengage from this interaction because l don't feel comfortable or safe.


Random interaction
You may think:
You see someone walking down the street, you decide that person gave me a evil look, they must really dislike me. I wonder why they hate me?

I may think:
I see the same person walking down the street, giving me an evil look, l think, wow, that person is so strange, l wonder if they are on medication, or are they high on some type of drugs? (Drugs can make people do really weird things). Do l need to worry about my safety, should l keep my distance?

So do you see different ways of thought process here by these examples?

 

[Aspychata]

Think lack of social cues and faulty thinking can perhaps trip us up, and make a situation appear differently then perhaps it is. However, you should always leave a situation if you feel you may be harmed in any way. You can just walk away from someone talking to you and you don't know them and they have no reason to talk to you. You can always check with your mom or dad if you need to about what is the correct thing to do. It's okay, they want to help you.

 

[Suzanne]

Guessing you mean: paranoia? Because yes, I believe that is a huge part of lacking social cues. Although, I do know that many serious mental health issues, also suffer paranoia , which is not related to social cues.

I bounce from feeling loved; to feeling disregarded often and it makes me want to stay at home for peace of mind.

 

[Oz67]

So l guess misunderstanding social clues can go both ways. You can meet someone, and think, that person or persons really don't like me. I can meet the same group of people and think, hey these people are really weird, l wonder why they are so antisocial.

Person/people talking to you
You may think:
I feel persecuted, I think these people intend to harm me or be mean to me.

I may think:
I think these people are too bizarre for me, l think l will disengage from this interaction because l don't feel comfortable or safe.


Random interaction
You may think:
You see someone walking down the street, you decide that person gave me a evil look, they must really dislike me. I wonder why they hate me?

I may think:
I see the same person walking down the street, giving me an evil look, l think, wow, that person is so strange, l wonder if they are on medication, or are they high on some type of drugs? (Drugs can make people do really weird things). Do l need to worry about my safety, should l keep my distance?

So do you see different ways of thought process here by these examples?

They make sense.

 

[Progster]

I used to have such thoughts when I was younger sometimes, but not so much any more. I often think that people don't like me, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

 

[Aspychata]

They make sense.

Great. I am trying to give a example of a faulty thinking assessment of a social situation, and positive assessment of the same situation.

So if you find yourself in the faulty thinking, you stop, and remind yourself that you don't have to turn this into a persecution thinking, instead ask yourself, is this person/people acting in a socially acceptable way, or should l be concerned about my well-being?

I have a real life example for you. I was in my storage locker at a huge storage building. This lady started pushing a shopping cart towards me, and she had a baseball bat in her hand. I remember thinking, oh my, this lady is going to attack me. She got halfway down the hall. I was sorta of panicking. I nicely called her out by saying, are you going to hit me with that. It turns out she was a homeless lady who slept inside l guess, and had that bat for her protection. She just suddenly stopped. And l left. Then l noticed a policeman showed up and was talking to her. So this could have been worse if l had overreacted. I just basically asked her what her intention was. If she gave me a weird answer or started lunging at me, l would have been gone. It could have gone either way. If she had a gun, l would have been gone. If she had been running towards me, l would be gone, but she was casually strolling down the hall with a shopping cart, and her baseball bat.

 

[Mrs mac]

Guessing you mean: paranoia? Because yes, I believe that is a huge part of lacking social cues. Although, I do know that many serious mental health issues, also suffer paranoia , which is not related to social cues.

I bounce from feeling loved; to feeling disregarded often and it makes me want to stay at home for peace of mind.

I can relate to your last paragraph myself.

 

[Luca]

I almost always feel like people don’t like me when I first meet them. But I realize that they might also be worrying the same thing about me.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

While never feeling persecuted, I always felt ignored in social situations and did not know how to behave and just withdrew into myself. That led to an inability to act kindly when it would have been valuable to do so. I was working left stage in college and there was a pretty, but quiet woman on the stage crew who caught my attention. At the closing party, I arrived a little later after making sure the stage was struck properly, and I see her sitting alone demurely sipping a drink. And, I did not approach her, thinking that she was too beautiful for somebody like me. I am sad about that and feel particularly stupid.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I avoid large groups of people like malls their body language just overwhelms me, just too much information. Much rather go for long walks with my wife, or kids' family or visit friends and siblings, parties are great if I can get one on one for a while.