But they just sound like close friends to me. Kind of in the unofficially adopted family kind of friends. Never had a friend like that myself.
It's not quite the same, I don't think, but that depends on the individual and their perspective, I suppose. I've had people in my life where the line between "close friend" and "romantic partner" were not quite so clear, so I firmly believe this to be a real thing. For example, I had a friend in college (well, I had dropped out, she was still a student) and we would get together in her room, exchange secrets, form intense emotional intimacy, and...cuddle. But there was no real "attraction," at least in the strictest societal definition of the word. And she is NOT asexual and has a beautiful daughter now so I know it isn't limited to asexuals.
I've actually described a couple of my past friendships as queerplatonic. I seem to fall into these "intense friendships" that are different from other friendships. I've experienced it more than once, but it's rare and difficult to explain. And it can end like a REALLY bad break-up.
I don't have any romantic experience to compare it to, so I'm maybe not the best source. I just get irritated when people put down my feelings about another person just because I'm not having sex with them. I'm asexual, by the way.
I am asexual as well. And yes, it is difficult to describe to other people, and for the longest time I had a hard time even explaining it to myself (even though I've known for years that I am asexual). And I have had sexual partners, with all the "romance" that goes along with it, and it took me the longest time to realize it simply was not for me. You know what is especially awkward? When you think you find yourself in a qp relationship except the other party thinks it's a romantic relationship. THAT is a delicate line to walk, lol, and bleeds into so many of the other threads in this section.
QPs are not like a regular best friend. There are a lot of different variances, but generally you have only one QP, and they are your life partner. You live with them, might adopt/raise kids together, cuddle, kiss, might even get platonically married, etc. You basically do everything a regular married couple would do, but there are no romantic feelings involved, only strong intimate friendship.
A queerplatonic partner is more serious than a qp friend (think of the qpp as a married couple and the qp friend as a bf/gf type deal.) Both are platonic in nature.
What you're describing almost comes across more as true romance than what I had in mind...For one, qp relationships are not inherently monogamous, and I think once you get to the "kissing" stage all bets are off, but...that is only my opinion!!! In my own brain, it is a big leap between cuddling and kissing...the former can be perfectly innocent and benign but the latter, to me, seems much more...physical? But that could be due to my own aversion to exchanging bodily fluids, lol. But you are absolutely right in saying that you can perform these intense emotional bonds with somebody and even share your life with them, raising kids, what have you. But I do think it is very, very important to distinguish between qp relationships and actual romance.
I'm still pretty new to this whole thing...It's only been a few weeks since I really started exploring asexuality, and i've learned so much about myself. I'm always interested in hearing others' thoughts and opinions...asexuality is an entire spectrum in and of itself and you can't just slap one single label on it!
