Problems with hoarding

[Starflowerpower87]

This hasn't become a problem quite yet but it could become one. There are lots of places in my town where you can get free stuff. Like when I go for my depot injection there is a food pantry there and you can get a bag of groceries every time you go for depot. I don't see that part as a problem because it helps me save money but I must admit I don't eat the food that fast. So I just stock my shelves with it in case I need it. I mean I'm glad it's there though. I just get shy to ask for the pantry because it feels weird to get a bag of groceries for free I don't know why.

Now here is my biggest problem. Clothes. I don't need any more clothes. My room is full of clothes. But there is a free clothes place I can go, three days out of the week. Each time I go I can get 5 things. This has made me so happy. To get new clothes for free. It's like a rush I get when I get a bag of clothes. I swear it's the only thing that makes me happy. So far I've been doing good. I've been donating back the clothes I don't want any more. Just got rid of two bags though and my closet is still full. Don't want to get rid of anything that's the problem. Someone suggested selling things but I prefer giving them away for free. It's much easier that way.

I'm doing good keeping clutter down but since there is such an abundance of free stuff it is very risky to me to have these places. Because I like to get free stuff to be happy. On the flip side I've been really poor lately and can't afford to buy anything because of all the bills I have this month. Had to go to the dentist. Hardly any of it was covered. So I'm grateful there are places to get free stuff.

But it messes with my head. Today I saw a cute angel key chain and didn't take it because I had no pockets. For some reason never put it in my purse. So someone else got it and not me and that messes with my head. Tomorrow is my depot injection and I want to ask for the pantry but it feels weird to get free groceries from them so it messes with my head. Also if the pantry is empty when I get there that would mess with my head too. It's like it's good to have free stuff but it feels more ethical to just buy your own stuff.

Sorry just had to get this off my chest.

 

[Starflowerpower87]

I'm starting to feel like with all this free stuff, that it's never enough anymore. It's like I'm trying to fill a gap. I think it has to do with my mental illness.

 

[Starflowerpower87]

Maybe what I could do is pick certain days to get free stuff. Like not every time they are open. It’s just finding the will power to do that, that is the problem.

I think I’ll try to go to the pantry tomorrow though because I need food.

 

[Aspychata]

It's great you wrote it out, and thought about all this. Can you skip the free clothes every other time? Like next time, don't pick anything, the time after that, you pick something. Then you can unload five things perhaps? Maybe find a craft to do, like drawing or painting to occupy those days money is tight?

 

[Jeff T]

I hear you. This runs in my extended family. In my own case it seems I am trying to fill an empty void. Some people overeat to fill a void? I seem to accumulate everything. It's all orderly; but why do I have 11 vehicles, for example? A neighbor down the street has 35 vehicles.

 

[Aspychata]

I have to say l was fascinated watching Hoarders , a show in American. I came away with ideas of why. Some was trauma that was so deep, that the person never moved on, like a husband or partner that died. Some suffer from bipolar, and need meds. Every case felt unique. Some were able to clean up, others had difficulty, and when revisited by the show, they went back to their old ways. This poster obviously isn't a true hoarder, because they stopped and reasoned it out here.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I get how you feel, @Starflowerpower87. Hoarding runs in my family, and I know that I am very susceptible to it. Throwing things out is a huge problem for me. Problem is, the more cluttered it gets, the more overwhelmed I am with cleaning up and doing something about it.

I believe that being aware of the issue is one of the main things. We might not (yet) be hoarders, but we should look it in the eye that we might become hoarders more easily than others. So it's advisable to keep this in mind and try to act accordingly.

In my case, I try to avoid impulse buys whenever I can stop myself. Instead of buying books, I try to get them from the library or online, and only buy those I really liked. Clutter and notebooks are my weak point. In my apartment, I try to not use closed spaces to stuff things but try to keep things out in the open (I'm an out of sight, out of mind person). Once in a while I feel motivation and energy to throw things out, so I use that and spend a day or two radically throwing out things I haven't used in a long time.

In your case, setting clearer guidelines for when you go look at the free stuff might be a good idea. There's nothing wrong with taking a few free things every once in a while. Maybe you have a friend or relative who could accompany you and whom you could ask to check that you only take e.g. 3 things.

Another person holding me accountable helps me. Since living with my partner, I manage better to keep the place more or less tidy (doing my share of tasks) because for a big part I do them for my partner, and I know that we will both get stressed out if the place looks bad and cluttered. When I lived alone, there was no accountability apart from me feeling overwhelmed (which made it worse). If you live alone, maybe someone could come visit once in a while to create a sense of accountability for you?

Figuring out where the impulse to hoard comes from might be interesting, but for some people it might also just be enough to acknowledge that it's there and figure out strategies on how to deal with it.

 

[Starflowerpower87]

It's great you wrote it out, and thought about all this. Can you skip the free clothes every other time? Like next time, don't pick anything, the time after that, you pick something. Then you can unload five things perhaps? Maybe find a craft to do, like drawing or painting to occupy those days money is tight?

That's actually a really good idea. I could go to a fitness center in my town that has a canteen and seating areas. I could sketch there to get out of the house, or even go swimming there.

 

[oregano]

Ultimately, I found that the med I take for my OCD also stopped the hoarding. Compulsive hoarding is a really odd syndrome, with some people it's related to a larger diagnosis of OCD and sometimes ADHD, and meds help. As noted, some people have trouble moving on from a traumatic event or the time in their life they felt happiest, and keep things that remind them of the life before the trauma or of the happy time. Then there is the really hardcore hoarders, the people who fill their houses with junk that spills outside, and seem to have no other causative mental disorder. Those are the hardest to treat. You might try seeing a psychiatrist if you can afford it.