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Possibly have kid with AS, here to poke around and explore

Spazmelda

Member
Hi! I just found this forum and I've been loitering around, reading.

I have an 8 year old son who has... something. We have started the process for having some various tests done to see what exactly is going on with him, but it will probably be some time after Christmas before we are able to get the tests done. At this point I don't even know what the tests involve, but I know that his counsellor has recommended testing for Aspergers, OCD, anxiety, and even Touretts as an out there possibility.

I've been doing some reading and I'm fairly convinced that some degree of Aspergers is where we are going to come out, with maybe some anxiety and a bit of OCD thrown in, but really all of his behaviors seem to fit is AS in some way or another.

He has a lot of the typical behaviors such as extreme social awkwardness, not being able to read non-verbal body language, loud talking and constant vocal dialogue of whatever is going on inside his head. He doesn't really talk to you, but talks at you, on whatever subject he is currently interested in, and has to be consistently reminded that sometimes other people have things they'd like to talk about too. And, oh dear, the special interests and collections! We are knee deep in them, though they seem to change over time. A special interest usually seems to last a couple of months to a year. This has ranged from Thomas the Train, coins (only if they have a man with a beard on them!), Pokmon, Legos, Hot Wheels, sharks, the Periodic Table, and (the oddest) small condiment packages from restaurants. Collections are taken out and painstakingly arranged often. Legos must remain set up and can not be moved. Condiment collection must be properly arranged and must not be used unless "in case of emergency". Luckily we have not had an emergency need for McDonald's syrup packets or any such thing.

The collections and special interests are not really much of a problem and are often even fun and interesting, but the social awkwardness and pain he feels when dealing with other kids his own age is becoming a problem. He desperately wants friends, but his lack of awareness of social or unspoken cues, his sometimes inappropriate words and phrases, lack of knowing how to have a two sided conversation, etc... make maintaining friends impossible right now. He just doesn't know how to do it, and I guess we have to learn how to help him.

He is currently in therapy, and has had therapy in the past (he used have very violent meltdowns where he would destroy things in his room, and even sometimes hurt himself by banging his head or hitting himself). Luckily therapy helped with the violent meltdowns and we haven't really seen that in the past year to year and a half, though he has occasionally expressed that he wants to hurt himself or 'cut my stupid brain out and get a new one'. These usually happen when he is disappointed with himself for making a (small) mistake, but he is very harsh on himself and thinks he is either good or bad. So, he knows something isn't right, but he has no idea what to do about it.

Well, I won't go on and on, though I could easily do so. In all, he is an exceptionally smart boy (brilliant in some ways) with lots of talents. I want to do the best I can to help him deal with whatever is going on so that he can adapt and pursue his special interests and learn how to cope with life.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to exploring the forum in more detail.
 
Welcome to AC, Spazmelda.
I don't think your post has to be moved, but if you want it to a moderator can do that for you.

What you described does point towards the autism spectrum.
I'm not sure if Asperger's Syndrome fits more then a different autistic spectrum disorder.
Reading what you posted, I also think he has tons of potential.
 
Welcome :)

Perhaps you can start a new thread in the parenting section, if you have a particular topic, or question, you'd like to discuss. Your introduction seems quite appropriate here.

Regarding the head banging, it might be good to address that soon. Hopefully he doesn't do this to hard.

I've added a few links below, which may be of interest to you.

Resources: Autism & Asperger's Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Tony Attwood: Home

Non-official AS tests: Online Tests | Life on the Spectrum
 
Welcome to AC, Spazmelda.
I don't think your post has to be moved, but if you want it to a moderator can do that for you.

What you described does point towards the autism spectrum.
I'm not sure if Asperger's Syndrome fits more then a different autistic spectrum disorder.
Reading what you posted, I also think he has tons of potential.

Thanks for your reply! There's a lot that I didn't post also. I've been writing up a summary of behaviors in case the testing people might want something, but I didn't want to post a book. He's had no delays in any area and tests advanced in both reading and math (though fiction baffles him as he can't understand why the characters do the things they do). He has some verbal tics (?) which cause him some problems with classmates (repetitive phrases). This is where the suggestion of Touretts comes in, but I think I could also possibly be a stimulating behavior. He can control them, but he says it takes a lot of energy. He seems to have very black and white thinking. Things are either good or bad, he is either smart or stupid (in his mind). He has problems understanding things like sarcasm, idioms and metaphors, and has often told us that if we are using sarcasm we need to tell him, because otherwise he thinks we are being literal. He doesn't understand a lot of jokes, but when he catches on that there was a joke he didn't get, he has a really loud fake laugh. It's like he's figured out that the appropriate response is to laugh with everyone else, but he doesn't get it quite right. He gives us a constant monologue of whatever is going on inside his head. Constant. He admonishes us for interrupting him, but honestly it's the only way anyone else in the house can ever say anything, lol.

His inability to read social cues in any way is really starting to cause him stress, though he doesn't really understand why, and if it weren't for that I'd just think all this other stuff was just that he has a bit of an odd eccentric personality (which, of course, is fine).

Anyway, like I said, long list of stuff, and I'm still processing things. His diagnosis may very well come out to be something different, but so many things related to AS just totally clicked. So even if it turns out to be something different, I think understanding AS will give us some useful tools.
 
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Thanks vanilla. He doesn't do the head banging anymore. The first round of CBT really helped with some strategies for dealing with frustration. Sometimes when he gets frustrated he will smack himself on the head, but not really hard and not banging on the wall like he was doing for a while. Thanks for the links. I think I've come across most of them before.

I took one of those online aspie tests, the one with the sort of circle diagram, and pretended as if I was answering for him. There were a lot of inappropriate questions for an 8 year old (regarding sexual attachment and stuff) but even not answering those I had him coming out way over on the aspie side of the diagram. Of course, that's just my perception of his behaviors, so surely not accurate.
 
Thanks vanilla. He doesn't do the head banging anymore. Sometimes when he gets frustrated he will smack himself on the head, but not really hard and not banging on the wall like he was doing for a while. Thanks for the links. I think I've come across most of them before.

I took one of those online aspie tests, the one with the sort of circle diagram, and pretended as if I was answering for him. There were a lot of inappropriate questions for an 8 year old (regarding sexual attachment and stuff) but even not answering those I had him coming out way over on the aspie side of the diagram. Of course, that's just my perception of his behaviors, so surely not accurate.
The tests are only a guide anyway, so it's a good starting point. Should you wish to get an official diagnoses, they will at least give you a little more confidence in the possibility of him having AS.
 
The tests are only a guide anyway, so it's a good starting point. Should you wish to get an official diagnoses, they will at least give you a little more confidence in the possibility of him having AS.

Right, we are in the process of getting a referral for some tests. Any idea what I can expect? That would probably be a good question for the parenting board.
 
Right, we are in the process of getting a referral for some tests. Any idea what I can expect? That would probably be a good question for the parenting board.
Not entirely certain myself, sorry. Not been through the process myself. Yes, you could try posting the question in the parenting section.
 
Update: my son had his evaluation yesterday and tested as definitely on the spectrum. The psych said that 2 years ago the definition would have been aspergers, but since they don't distiguish anymore it is simply autism. I'm relieved to have a diagnosis so we can figure out what help he needs to navigate his life.
 
Glad to hear you got a diagnosis , I myself have 2 kids on the spectrum possibly 3 , all up 5 cute little devils , I could possibly offer some advice , just keep in mind I'm an aspie to , so I can be quite objective , anyways inbox is always open , good luck
 
Thanks Karma. Lol, your name confused me at first. I wanted to reply using your screen name and I saw karma, thinking it was the karma points. Threw me off for a minute.

Honestly, I think I'm a bit somewhere on the spectrum myself. As my husband was learning about Asperger's/hfa from stuff I'd read to him (books/Internet), he says to me, "hey, um, has it occurred to you that you have a lot of these traits as well?" Hm, anyway...

We are meeting with the psych Wednesday to go over the test report in detail. I'm hoping he will give us some suggestions as to what to do next. The school counsellor wants us to set up a meeting so we can see how to help/accomodate my son in school, and honestly, I'm not sure I know what he needs... what would help. He is generally a good student, especially now that he's got some meds to help with anxiety and frustration that comes from his perfectionism. 3rd grade seems to be the year of the timed math tests, and although he tested gifted in math last year, he's absoulutely terrible at timed tests, and his teacher thinks he's struggling with addition, subtraction, and multiplication. IMO, he's struggling with timed tests, not the actual math. She brushed this off, telling me all kids are nervous about timed tests, urg. His handwriting is terrible, but we work on that at home. So, you know, academically, there are a few concerns, but nothing super pressing. Socially he's very awkward and has no friends. He's been doing friendship groups with school counsellors for several years now, so I'm not sure what else they could do for him on the social front.

If you have any suggestions or links discussing this sort of thing, I'd love to read. And like I said, hopefully the psych will give us some direction as well.
 
My 11 year old aspie gets called the mathematician at school ( I'm not sure were you are from but hear in oz the give him extra time on all tests and allow some one to read him the questions ) he can talk about physics for hours and has some impressive ideas he refuses to read and hates anything English handwriting is the same I have found that unlike me growing up and trying to fit the mould I have taught him to embrace the weird and helped him through it ( being picked on and so on ) now every one is used to his quirks and he is well liked ( the only thing I had to get him to suppress were the extremely in appropriate comments like blurting out how big his poo was in the middle of class lol, I should add that I taught myself to read at 14 and whent from having trouble reading a newsletter to reading a 600 page sci if novel in a week , I'm thinking one day he will decide he wants to read and just will! I know for me it's very hard to turn off that narrative at the forefront of my conscience so I am usually basically trying to listen to two people at once witch can be quite exhausting as my narrative is so much more interesting and has my attention , and I'm thinking you have noticed your son slip into another world mid convo my 8 year old whom I also have in mainstream is at the other end of the spectrum testing at 69 iq , we have quite a few things in place to get him through the day , visual cues and so forth , he still sees a speechie and ot , and has an aid to assist him 2 days a week , Not sure if iv helped at all I do ramble a lot if something dosent make sence to you do point it out :)
 
Ps I have herd quite a few stories of parents finding out they were or the spectrum via researching there children's diognosis or their children's therapists pointing it out
 
Yes, I actually have several (online) friends who sought and received diagnoses after their kids were identified. I don't think. I will try to get a diagnosis myself.

That does help, thanks. I think I will ask for extra time for his tests. I had told his math teacher that he taught himself the concept of multiplication in kindergarten and was skip counting and recording results on paper at that time, looking for patterns in the numbers. I also told her about the time when he burned his finger so _I_ recorded the answers on a practice timed test and he solved 22 problems in 45 seconds, while it was taking him 3 minutes when writing it himself (pre-burned finger). Her response was just that he will have to learn, which I can somewhat agree with, but the test is supposed to be testing multiplication facts, not how to take a test, KWIM?

That is interesting about reading. Jacob is actually an amazing reader, but ONLY of non-fiction. Fiction bores and baffles him. Would books about physics entice your son to read? I'm sure you've thought of that already, lol.
 
Unfortunately or fortunately he has discovered that mum is a walking talking kindle app he knows just how to get me going he will tell me he doesn't quite understand the concept of something and knows that I can not help myself but to explain it in detail normally ends with hubbie returning home and reminding me that I'm doing it again! ,he has excellent vocal language skills knows the meaning of some very Hefty words he just misses the boat on the visual part ( also the fine motor skills)he also will not read fiction, he is currently reading at a grade 4 level the thing that seems to be working at the moment is restricting his math untill he has done his spelling and then rewarding him with a equation or two , although he's quite capable of working on his own complex equations confiscating his note book adds a little incentive
 
an hfa can have a totally fulfilling and successful life. many hfa adults are evidence of that. be helpful in the right ways but do not baby or spoil him. life is always hard at some point and he must be strong enough to face it. with some its just not feasible to go it alone however and they need a situation with more indefinite assistance. it sounds like he has the potential to make it as a independent individual so I would shoot for that unless there is compelling evidence along the way that its not going to work.

apologies for no capitals... have a puppy in one arm sleeping.
 

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