Plans change daily! Can't cope! Help!

[Charles Terrano]

Hey everyone, I could use some advice. I have Aspergers and, like most, have difficulty with sudden changes of plans. I work as a trucker and, over the past few months, the job I loved has changed into something that I can't handle anymore. We've gotten to the point where my plans will be changed multiple times a day every day. Where I'm going, when I have to be there, where I'll shut down at night, when I'm getting home, how long I'll be home, etc. So far today my plans (for today) have been changed on me three times before noon. I am having an extremely hard time dealing with it; I am in a constant state of high stress and anxiety. All the coping strategies I've read about basically boil down to have people communicate plan changes well in advance to give yourself time to process, or just remove yourself from the situation. Neither of which is a viable option here. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this?

 

[Catlover614]

Hey everyone, I could use some advice. I have Aspergers and, like most, have difficulty with sudden changes of plans. I work as a trucker and, over the past few months, the job I loved has changed into something that I can't handle anymore. We've gotten to the point where my plans will be changed multiple times a day every day. Where I'm going, when I have to be there, where I'll shut down at night, when I'm getting home, how long I'll be home, etc. So far today my plans (for today) have been changed on me three times before noon. I am having an extremely hard time dealing with it; I am in a constant state of high stress and anxiety. All the coping strategies I've read about basically boil down to have people communicate plan changes well in advance to give yourself time to process, or just remove yourself from the situation. Neither of which is a viable option here. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this?

I'm not very good at giving advice, although I completely "get" you in this frustration because I cannot stand when plans change or when my routine gets disturbed. Maybe this a sign for you to change jobs. If you are not happy with your job, you won't be happy with your life. I suggest you take a day or two off from work and think about it, weigh the pros and cons.

 

[watersprite]

That seems unreasonable by any standards. Is there a manager or supervisor you could discuss the situation with? Have a script ready, in case you're having any difficulty (not that you would, just say this because in high stress situations I find talking challenging).

And welcome to AC.

 

[Charles Terrano]

Not really, it's just the nature of the job. I do multi-stop runs; I have to deliver to multiple customers in a day. So at the start of the day I'll have a plan from the company: I'm going to hit these particular locations at these particular times, shut down for the night at this particular location, start again in the morning at this particular time...

And then there will be a delay at one of the recievers and my schedule goes out the window, there will be unexpected traffic and I can't make it to a stop on time, everything took too much time and now I won't get to place I was going to sleep for the night before all the truck parking is taken..

It used to be better, our loads were scheduled so that we had plenty of time between stops and an unexpected delay wouldn't ruin the plan. But that's changed, the customer who hired the company I drive for has pushed to get us to deliver to more stops, faster, so pretty much anything will force a change of plans. They've also reduced the number of trucks they contracted without reducing the workload, so now my company has to scramble to cover all the loads. That causes a lot of plan changes as my company has to constantly adjust what each driver is doing to cover everything. We get a lot of "I know we said you could go home, but we've got one last load we need you to cover first" or "We just had coverage fall through, we need you to forget about the load you were assigned and go elsewhere for a different load instead." often followed a few hours later with "Never mind, we found someone else to cover that load, go back and get the load you were originally on."

It's constant, every day. Change what stops your going to, when you'll get there, where you'll park, what load you're on, when you'll get home. It's nothing but constant stress and anxiety. I'm usually good at keeping control and just bottling that up... but lately I've felt my control slipping. I'm afraid I'm going to have a meltdown.

 

[watersprite]

I see how that would at first challenge and then push one past the edge. Is the contract with this company temporary or 'forever?'

When meltdowns threaten, then a Plan B is better than allowing the meltdown to win.

Have you any sick days or vacation time you could make use of? Just a thought.

 

[Judge]

I agree with Kestrel. It might be worth the effort to discuss any perceived logistical changes with your supervisor. Especially if such conditions may be correlated to an increase rather than a decrease in business.

If your job used to be manageable and now it's not, focus on what you think may have changed. I'd think the drop in the cost of crude oil and gasoline prices has surely impacted local transportation entities in a more positive way. But with more business can come a need for more resources. Of course only you would know if this may be the case with your employer. I can only guess.

If the logistics of your job have in fact proportionately changed, maybe they need to allot more resources to help you. Though if the job inherently lacked routine from the outset...it may simply not be for you in the long run.

 

[Charles Terrano]

Allotting more resources would certainly be ideal. But this company cut back in the face of rising demand. It's the old corporate mantra "Do more with less!" Those shareholders gotta have that extra profit.

It's a permanent contract, so long as I'm with this company I'll always be doing this. I took this job because they promised I'd be home every weekend and they were offering good money. The good money part turned out to be true, but the home every weekend was a lie.

Before I took this particular job I was a regular Over the Road trucker. I loved that. There was rarely any sudden plan changes and I was in charge of just about everything. So long as I got the load there on time, I could drive when I wanted, stop when or where I wanted, run the load basically any way I wanted.

I would LOVE to go back to that, but it would be a significant pay cut. I'm out here because I have a family to support. I can't see telling my wife "Sorry baby, we're gonna go back to struggling to make ends meet because I'm just not happy with what I'm doing." That seems incredibly selfish; shouldn't my family come first? On the other hand, would I really be doing my family any favors if I stuck with this and drove myself into a full meltdown while piloting an 80,000 pound weapon of mass destruction down the Interstate?

 

[watersprite]

Allotting more resources would certainly be ideal. But this company cut back in the face of rising demand. It's the old corporate mantra "Do more with less!" Those shareholders gotta have that extra profit.

It's a permanent contract, so long as I'm with this company I'll always be doing this. I took this job because they promised I'd be home every weekend and they were offering good money. The good money part turned out to be true, but the home every weekend was a lie.

Before I took this particular job I was a regular Over the Road trucker. I loved that. There was rarely any sudden plan changes and I was in charge of just about everything. So long as I got the load there on time, I could drive when I wanted, stop when or where I wanted, run the load basically any way I wanted.

I would LOVE to go back to that, but it would be a significant pay cut. I'm out here because I have a family to support. I can't see telling my wife "Sorry baby, we're gonna go back to struggling to make ends meet because I'm just not happy with what I'm doing." That seems incredibly selfish; shouldn't my family come first? On the other hand, would I really be doing my family any favors if I stuck with this and drove myself into a full meltdown while piloting an 80,000 pound weapon of mass destruction down the Interstate?

Your wife loves you. Can you give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her about this?

As for the 80,000 pound vehicle: That is why I said rather assertively that you gotta have a plan B.

 

[Warmheart]

A very warm welcome to AC!

I also think a job change and associated pay cut (I know, ouch...) would save your everything.
A spies can "achieve their way right into the hospital." A meltdown is scary, but not as life-changing as ASD burnout. You have every right to consider removing yourself from the situation, because a steady diet of changes in plans is more than your neurology can cope with.

Try to envision yourself succeeding and feeling calm and happy at a more predictable driving job. Imagine feeling able to breathe easier, and relax into your day, knowing the manifest doesn't change.

If you were my hubby, I'd want you to sit down with me when we are both calm, then explain gently how much you are struggling. We'd look at options together. This way, you wife will become aware of the problem, and feel included in considering solutions. Personally, I'd rather do with less than watch my hubby put himself in danger.

Good thoughts and vibes sent your way for an improved, stable job situation!

 

[Ronin82]

I know how you feel. I just had to quit a job when they suddenly changed everything and I couldn't cope with the new ambiguous system. I'm gonna struggle for a while, I really wasn't ready for this. You do what you gotta do, but remember that once they start jerking you around, it will continue to get worse, rarely better. Have a plan to jump ship and save your (and all the other road warriors) life and sanity!

 

[tachyon]

That you have made this thread shows that you know you can't continue to operate safely in the current context.

I agree with kestrel & Warmheart that you should engage your wife so that she can be a part of the solution. If you don't engage her she might think you are happy with the situation and the longer you leave it the more difficult it will eventually become to make a change.