Phone calls

[Otenba]

Because you know your mind will be trapped. And you don't know for how long.

I've never thought of it like that before. I agree!

I also think it doesn't help that you can't see the person, to try and read their body language if you want to.

I hate answering phones. Even have reasonable adjustments at work so they're kept to a minimum so I don't get stressed by them (my employer deal particularly with vulnerable people, alongside the general public, so challenging calls are commonplace - I've tried to do it and it ends up making me ill). I struggle to do the customer service thing well, despite doing training, and doing a college course about customer service. CBT helped with some understanding of what was happening, but not enough to stop problems occuring.

It's frustrating, but considering all the effort I've made to rectify how I am with no continuous success, I'm at a loss on what else I can do so ended up asking employer for help with keeping my employment there. They were good; changed my role and set up reasonable adjustments in the new role. Much better now. I am thankful.

As for personal life, husband is a star. Takes calls whenever he can on my behalf. I sometimes challenge myself to call companies so I don't have to rely on him completely, because I know they're less likely to be emotionally loaded calls so feel safer trying to do them because the person is less likely to be confusing. It's funny sometimes because I recognise what I learnt from my customer service education in how the professional people are on the phone. Some are so gifted with their customer service soft skills. I am happy for them, and it impresses me.

 

[Mr Allen]

I've never thought of it like that before. I agree!

I also think it doesn't help that you can't see the person, to try and read their body language if you want to.

I hate answering phones. Even have reasonable adjustments at work so they're kept to a minimum so I don't get stressed by them (my employer deal particularly with vulnerable people, alongside the general public, so challenging calls are commonplace - I've tried to do it and it ends up making me ill). I struggle to do the customer service thing well, despite doing training, and doing a college course about customer service. CBT helped with some understanding of what was happening, but not enough to stop problems occuring.

It's frustrating, but considering all the effort I've made to rectify how I am with no continuous success, I'm at a loss on what else I can do so ended up asking employer for help with keeping my employment there. They were good; changed my role and set up reasonable adjustments in the new role. Much better now. I am thankful.

As for personal life, husband is a star. Takes calls whenever he can on my behalf. I sometimes challenge myself to call companies so I don't have to rely on him completely, because I know they're less likely to be emotionally loaded calls so feel safer trying to do them because the person is less likely to be confusing. It's funny sometimes because I recognise what I learnt from my customer service education in how the professional people are on the phone. Some are so gifted with their customer service soft skills. I am happy for them, and it impresses me.

A lot of phones and networks offer video calls now, OK it doesn't always work, and is a bit Star Trek, but the option is there when it works,

 

[Otenba]

A lot of phones and networks offer video calls now, OK it doesn't always work, and is a bit Star Trek, but the option is there when it works,

I've only ever been offered it to talk with charity workers about charity work and I can count on one hand how many times that has happened.

I'd love for my health team to do something like this, but I think they still fear it not being secure enough to use like forums or emails, so refuse to or rarely use. Apparently NHS in my area don't get funding for dealing with patients electronically which may explain the barrier as well. They always push for phone calls because they get funding.

 

[tlc]

For me, conference calls at work are the worst. First, when someone calls and says they have others with them, I dread it because know it's going to take a lot longer. And it usually means the call will be on speakerphone. Which in my case, means that the communication can only go one way at a time, basically being overtaken by who speaks the loudest. If it's not difficult enough to hold a conversation with multiple people, you've got the extra stress of knowing if you speak out of turn you'll get cut off.

 

[Loren]

As others have stated, I have difficulty knowing when to speak, and, I am of the sort that does rely on body language and facial expressions. I, also, find written communication, quite challenging, for the same reasons.

 

[Judge]

Simple point about phone calls and people on the spectrum.

They don't offer queues. Not just the more obvious ones, but none at all.

Which at times can feel like attempting to communicate with a bag over our head.

 

[Progster]

They don't offer queues. Not just the more obvious ones, but none at all.

Do you mean, cues? Queues is the British term for a line. Interesting play on words here - telephone line, being put in a queue or line when phoning a service, being difficult to spot cues... all can apply here

 

[Judge]

Do you mean, cues? Queues is the British term for a line. Interesting play on words here - telephone line, being put in a queue or line when phoning a service, being difficult to spot cues... all can apply here

LOL. I stand corrected. Oddly enough I originally used cues rather than queues. Brain fart.

Yes, I meant in effect a "visual/verbal prompt"- or cue. Of course there is no visual prompt in a phone conversation, making it that much more difficult for many of us.

Though over a phone conversation in my own case I can't say that verbal cues if offered makes much difference either. Where timing becomes haphazard in avoiding interrupting the other person on the line.