pet etiquette for dating inquiry

[Judge]

It's not me taking custody of his pet, but it's "free boarding" for his pet and "a test of me wanting to be around the pet and him" at the same time.

Interesting way to put it.

That said, are there any pet owners here who have no issues with such a dynamic connected to early courtship?

 

[paloftoon]

Interesting way to put it.

That said, are there any pet owners here who have no issues with such a dynamic connected to early courtship?

I agree with this. I've asked people and strangers online. It is not a common request for a lot of people, but it can happen. Some people choose to deal with the dogs themselves because they know it's imposing too early on. Some are okay with it but might have different restrictions. Even if it's outdoor, if it's cold out, one of the stipulations most likely would be is that I'd have to let the dog inside.

Anxious dogs can wreck a place apart if I don't know a dog well enough, and I can't depend on the owner to take responsibility either. It isn't exactly sexy to have the discussion of the owner being responsible or to have a written agreement, but it is also perfectly acceptable to do so. If I was more of a pet person, then I should definitely re-consider.

 

[Forest Cat]

That said, are there any pet owners here who have no issues with such a dynamic connected to early courtship?

I love dogs so I would probably let the dog stay and keep it after bonding with it. But it's an unusual request, when you have just met someone and the first thing you do is to ask if the dog can stay in their home, it's a little too soon. If you have known each other for a while it would be different.

Lets say the dog breaks something expensive, eats it or something. Or pees on something or makes lots of scratchmarks on a door or wall or hardwood floor. Who is paying for that? That can quickly cause a lot of problems and arguing.

 

[Forest Cat]

What kind of dog are we talking about here by the way? Just curious. If it's a yorkie it's not as big a deal as if it is a huge Saint Bernard I think. The biggest risk with a yorkie is that it will overwhelm you with cuteness and you end up stealing the dog, keeping it and ditching the date.

 

[Rodafina]

That said, are there any pet owners here who have no issues with such a dynamic connected to early courtship?

Avid pet owner here. Seems kind of odd to me. The only exception would be if the relationship started around dogs… Like at the dog park or something like that. But otherwise, this request seems strange.

 

[Judge]

Avid pet owner here. Seems kind of odd to me. The only exception would be if the relationship started around dogs… Like at the dog park or something like that. But otherwise, this request seems strange.

It was a "loaded question". Designed to determine if there were pet owners who under similar circumstances would prioritize their pet above any and all considerations of someone they were courting.

The point being, never underestimate how people may feel about their pets. Even when not in their best interest, socially speaking. That I say as a former pet owner for many years. The only real reason I haven't been with a little friend is because watching them go every 12 years or so got to be too much for me.

Though in my own case, I'd still be very cognizant of basic courtesies as well. Trying never to put someone on the spot, so to speak. It can be a fine line to walk at times...but I have to fundamentally agree with the OP.

That said, does that still sound "odd" ?

 

[Forest Cat]

It was a "loaded question". Designed to determine if there were pet owners who under similar circumstances would prioritize their pet above any and all considerations of someone they were courting.

The point being, never underestimate how people may feel about their pets. Even when not in their best interest, socially speaking.

It would be difficult to leave a dog alone at home while I was out dating. I might prioritize the pet, because that would be my responsibility. And I would just feel so bad if something I did made the pets life worse. I would probably worry and overthink this alot and then cancel all dates and stay home with the dog.

 

[Judge]

It would be difficult to leave a dog alone at home while I was out dating. I might prioritize the pet, because that would be my responsibility. And I would just feel so bad if something I did made the pets life worse. I would probably worry and overthink this a alot and then cancel all dates and stay home with the dog.

Precisely my point.

It's a potentially tough issue for a pet owner, depending on the dog and whatever separation anxiety issues may be involved. Also one that a significant other may not be able to relate to if they haven't been a pet owner or don't like them in general.

Another consideration are people who may reflect a wide spectrum of those who may or may not so easily impose on another, regardless of the stakes. Some may be very considerate, while others can be well..unbelievable in that context. Ugly, but a reality of human behavior.

Not a trivial issue, IMO.

 

[Forest Cat]

The only real reason I haven't been with a little friend is because watching them go every 12 years or so got to be too much for me.

That's the only reason I don't have a dog or dogs now. I have to think about it, not sure I can deal with more loss. It's so hard.

 

[Rodafina]

Alright, I am officially a bad person to answer the question as I would definitely rather hang out with my dog then go on a date with someone I didn’t know well. So, I suppose I would prioritize my dog over a date, but the date wouldn’t have to worry about it because he wouldn’t exist.

PS I have never been on a date in my life. In relationships, yes but dates, never.

 

[paloftoon]

What kind of dog are we talking about here by the way? Just curious. If it's a yorkie it's not as big a deal as if it is a huge Saint Bernard I think. The biggest risk with a yorkie is that it will overwhelm you with cuteness and you end up stealing the dog, keeping it and ditching the date.

I think it's a labrador dog. It's all black. He's 6 years old. He's big sized. He was a rescue at 1 years old from SC and is now in PA. So, there's that.

 

[Judge]

Alright, I am officially a bad person to answer the question as I would definitely rather hang out with my dog then go on a date with someone I didn’t know well. So, I suppose I would prioritize my dog over a date, but the date wouldn’t have to worry about it because he wouldn’t exist.

PS I have never been on a date in my life. In relationships, yes but dates, never.

Your honesty is appreciated. And your answer is quite understandable from my perspective.

I can't help but speculate that NTs may feel little differently in this respect as pet owners. In my 67 years the only human who I ever felt unconditionally loved was from my mother. When it comes to my cat and dogs, I like to think all of them unconditionally loved me as the very special creatures they are.

LOL...so at times it can and will complicate things.

 

[paloftoon]

Alright, I am officially a bad person to answer the question as I would definitely rather hang out with my dog then go on a date with someone I didn’t know well. So, I suppose I would prioritize my dog over a date, but the date wouldn’t have to worry about it because he wouldn’t exist.

PS I have never been on a date in my life. In relationships, yes but dates, never.

if you're comfortable having another person's dog at your place, and you want to date real bad, you should look for other dates who are dog lovers. If they do not have a dog themselves, as shallow as it would be, it would be the right decision for you to swipe left on any person that doesn't have their own dog. (laugh face)

 

[Rodafina]

^ Swipe left sounds like I should punch them with my left hand.

 

[Judge]

^ Swipe left sounds like I should punch them with my left hand.

I guess that depends on whether one is Will Smith. Or not....

 

[Rodafina]

I guess that depends on whether one is Will Smith. Or not....

I have no idea what this means, but I do know that Will Smith is one of the men in black.

 

[Forest Cat]

I guess that depends on whether one is Will Smith. Or not....

Those Will Smith slap jokes will never get old. People will still make them 500 years from now.

 

[Forest Cat]

I have no idea what this means, but I do know that Will Smith is one of the men in black.

There was an incident, Will Smith slapped someone. Then he was given an award and held a long thank you speech. It was a special moment.

 

[Judge]

Those Will Smith slap jokes will never get old. People will still make them 500 years from now.

Life was never the same after Patton.

 

[Rodafina]

There was an incident, Will Smith slapped someone. Then he was given an award and held a long thank you speech. It was a special moment.

Did he slap DJ Jazzy Jeff?