Personal Experiences

[ftfipps]

I would like to hear other users experiences with their ASD.

This thread is specifically for those with CONFIRMED ASD and those that have the following:

1. A job
2.Are married

To reiterate: I only want to hear from users that have a job and are married with or without kids.

First of all, What socioeconomic class are you in? Are you rich? Poor? did you go to college? What country are you in? What kind of job do you have? What difficulties do you have due to your condition? Where did you meet your spouse(significant other)? Do they have similar issues?

My purpose for this thread is simply to see a. how people with ASD managed to overcome the challenges of the condition and attain things that only a statistically insignificant amount of us will attain.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

What do you mean by CONFIRMED ASD? Does self-diagnosed count?

 

[ftfipps]

Let me explain:

I personally only know one person with diagnosed autism. He was put through college somehow(maybe family has money) and now he drives a Mercedes and lives in a rich suburb. He is a computer programmer.

I was never formally diagnosed with autism. I come from a working class family. There is no money for college. I got a good job straight out of high school with stock options and the option to advance to higher positions in the company. I ended up getting fired after three years due to a false accusation of sexual harassment by a MALE employee. I have no money to go to college so ever since I lost that job in 2010 I have struggled to pay bills and have been homeless for years at a time.

 

[ftfipps]

What do you mean by CONFIRMED ASD? Does self-diagnosed count?

If you struggle with social interaction and can identify as ASD

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I have a job that pays well above the median income level and I have been married for 10 months. It took me until age 53 to meet both of your requirements. One of my special interests (writing) provided me with the talent to get this job, but it took a long time to get there. It took even longer to find a woman whom I wanted to marry and who wanted to marry me. She is also an Aspie. I think that helps us understand one another better. I was married previously, but we divorced after having a child who is now 28.

It's not easy for those of us in the spectrum to achieve career and relationship success; having lived my life, I have no illusions that it is easy. But I don't think I am an anomaly. I'm just determined to live a life of meaning and don't know the meaning of the word quit when it comes to pursuing things I really want. All my life I have wanted both a wife and a good career, so I knew it would happen eventually. I certainly didn't expect that the first 40-50 years would be trial and error in those areas, but that's okay. It will happen for you, too, if you really, really want it. Just stick with it with tenacity and hope. Those are the keys.

 

[Suzanne]

I get you know, having read a reply you gave.

In fact, I deliberately set out to only speak with female confirmed aspies, to help me to further my journey to whether I have aspergers ( not able to get a formal diagnosis right now) and what it has done is made me feel confident to say I have aspergers, because I know I do have it.

I am not offically diagnosed with social phobia, but know I have it and those who know me, know too.

Anyway, the only criteria I match up to in your request is that I am married and to an nt; no children.

It is a struggle, because I speak a different "language" to those around me and so, because I am in the minority, it means that they expect me to try harder, which is so very difficult and exhausting.

By world's standards, I am a failure. I can work, because I have worked, but my issue is not being able to get to work and so, I can't.

The biggest hurdle for me and my husband is me taking things literal and he has now taken to deliberately being literal, because he sees he is being humourous. Also, he never explains things in a straight forward way, that utterly confuses me and he will not appreciate that I need it spelt out.

 

[Chance]

I get you know, having read a reply you gave.

In fact, I deliberately set out to only speak with female confirmed aspies, to help me to further my journey to whether I have aspergers ( not able to get a formal diagnosis right now) and what it has done is made me feel confident to say I have aspergers, because I know I do have it.

I am not offically diagnosed with social phobia, but know I have it and those who know me, know too.

Anyway, the only criteria I match up to in your request is that I am married and to an nt; no children.

It is a struggle, because I speak a different "language" to those around me and so, because I am in the minority, it means that they expect me to try harder, which is so very difficult and exhausting.

By world's standards, I am a failure. I can work, because I have worked, but my issue is not being able to get to work and so, I can't.

The biggest hurdle for me and my husband is me taking things literal and he has now taken to deliberately being literal, because he sees he is being humourous. Also, he never explains things in a straight forward way, that utterly confuses me and he will not appreciate that I need it spelt out.

You are far from a failure... You have given me great wisdom, and it makes me sad that you think that... But I certainly know how we can feel that way at times no matter what we have or what we can do... Regardless of money or job... YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE... : )

 

[Chance]

If you struggle with social interaction and can identify as ASD

I think anyone on here can more than identify, and each of us could probably writes pages on the subject...

Me I work my butt off, I have failed many times, but I keep trying. I have a job (that I'm not real fond of) but it does pay quite a lot higher than the median income. I also run half of my grandparents farm, and I have some stuff I make money with online...

Yet it seems I have to work 4 times harder, to 1/2 of what regular people seem to just get easily.
I have to prove myself over and over it seems.
I have to hide any of my nightmare ASD traits as much as possible because I do work in a NT corporate scene, and lots is expected often on short notice, and I privately freak out over that a lot.

I constantly struggle with communicating because I simply don't like to talk ( I never have liked to talk)... Sometimes I have to force myself to talk... But I KNOW I better talk when I am asked questions, or I will not be in that position I am in right now for very much longer.

I would rather just live off in the mountains and be a hermit, but that isn't really sane either I don't think... Maybe someday when I am old and no one cares about me anymore... : )

 

[Suzanne]

You are far from a failure... You have given me great wisdom, and it makes me sad that you think that... But I certainly know how we can feel that way at times no matter what we have or what we can do... Regardless of money or job... YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE... : )

Thank you so much Chance for your very encouraging words and positivness that you pass my way.

Comparions is a killer trait and I am horrificially guilty of that, but am learning to halt it, because of how it makes me feel.

When you spend all day on your own and even freak, when you pop into your verandah and see some one across the road, you quickly dart back inside again, and the only voice you hear, is your own and you are no longer a young person, but you are online and "watch" others having a life, that is when I feel crushed as a failure and because I do not have a licence, but ever since I had the surprise to find I am good at accounts, despite how bad I am with mathmatics, that sort of lifted me up and right now, I am DETERMINED to learn ASL so that I can chat with my spiritual daughter, who is also on here. What a surprise to find that ASL is the same as FSL ( French sign language), because it was a Frenchman who went to America and taught them signing.

I can just about sign: now I know my abc ( which in fact, I don't lol, but getting there).