Passing the Time?

[wadorama]

First post-intro thread so apologies if the topic has been covered.

I go out about once a week to pick up the mail and drop off the trash (mixed that up once and it was messy) plus every 16 days for groceries. I don't want to risk interaction beyond that with physical external variables if I don't have to. To anyone with similar self-defined limitations I ask you this: How do you spend time? The smaller my world gets the harder it seems to fill a day. Hoping for a magic bullet here but I'll take what you'll share. Thanks.

 

[Katleya]

Reading up on things, either things I have a special interest in, or things that I know nothing about.
I can fall in a 'WikiHole' faster than I can avoid eye contact.
That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if you were to get caught up reading posts on the forum for a few days. I'd even recommend it to see how much clicks, it's really a revelation.

 

[onlything]

Reading, learning, wood carving, caring for plants, computer games, programming, mathematical problems solving, painting, writing, forum reading, threads creating, psychologically oriented research. Mostly learning new things or new things about old things.

 

[Gracey]

First post-intro thread so apologies if the topic has been covered.

I go out about once a week to pick up the mail and drop off the trash (mixed that up once and it was messy) plus every 16 days for groceries. I don't want to risk interaction beyond that with physical external variables if I don't have to. To anyone with similar self-defined limitations I ask you this: How do you spend time? The smaller my world gets the harder it seems to fill a day. Hoping for a magic bullet here but I'll take what you'll share. Thanks.

Find purpose in your actions. However small or seemingly insignificant.

Swap procrastination for intent - if you find yourself questioning "why bother?" Answer yourself "because I can"

Be your own best friend

Get online and keep your brain active. (Here/ this site is good once you feel comfortable)

On the mornings you wonder how you might fill the infinite expanse of time that represents your whole day, break it down into sections, morning, afternoon, evening and keep your focus on just getting through that section.

You have the freedom to choose what happens to your time. You get to make the decisions about things you might like to try, things you want to learn, discovering more about something that's always interested you.
Perhaps now you have more time to do it?

Time is only a measurement. It doesn't have to be negative.

 

[The Midge]

First post-intro thread so apologies if the topic has been covered.

I go out about once a week to pick up the mail and drop off the trash (mixed that up once and it was messy) plus every 16 days for groceries. I don't want to risk interaction beyond that with physical external variables if I don't have to. To anyone with similar self-defined limitations I ask you this: How do you spend time? The smaller my world gets the harder it seems to fill a day. Hoping for a magic bullet here but I'll take what you'll share. Thanks.

When I was out of work for a three year stretch I was stuck indoors and only getting out to sign on and do a few chores and go to the doctor for meds. I found that very depressing. I needed a gig with a charity shop to get going again. Maybe we have to deal with the external variables sometimes or get increasing comorbid conditions.

I had to push the boundaries back a little bit at a time and celebrate any small victories. It started with a have a puppy that needed walking regularly.

I have a family so they provided some 'internal variables'. A day at home alone, week after week, didn't leave me in a good condition to deal with those.

 

[SusanLR]

Reading, learning, wood carving, caring for plants, computer games, programming, mathematical problems solving, painting, writing, forum reading, threads creating, psychologically oriented research. Mostly learning new things or new things about old things.

About the same things for me, (minus mathmatical problems and programming).
Add essential chores, collection arranging, taking care of my pet frogs, days alone out in nature, and a little TV.
I get the trash and mail routine too.
Shop late at night only when needed.
And at my age, a good nap with soft music.

 

[dragoncat16]

I have learned how to read (and write, sort of) hiragana (one of the Japanese character sets), and I am trying to learn French better. I have also tried to learn the actual Japanese language but it's so different from the way Western languages work that it is quite difficult, and probably not entirely possible, to learn online. I also play musical instruments, read, surf the web (mostly for ways to legally get back at the a******s at work who screwed me out of my job because of my ASD, but also I have done lots of research and read lots of journal articles about ASD). Mathematical problems and computer programming was part of what I did for work, so I don't do too much of that in my spare time. I am not yet ready to look for another job (nor would I likely get one if I did, due to my professional reputation having been destroyed by aforementioned a******s), but I am thinking of trying volunteer work, though since that will undoubtedly involve interacting with other people I have serious doubts about how that will work out.

 

[Streetwise]

looking after 4 cats who are all very nervous,two have skin problems,trying to get the front and backgarden to be accessible,yearly battle with terrifying nettles and war with privet hedge, more friendly with two conifers
favourite tv programmes, welcoming new favourite programmes to head of streetwise ,there aren't many.
repairing house where i can, trying to help people,prayer,watching the craft channel ,trying to sleep,exercising outside- going for vv short walks (really almost dragging my left side)

First post-intro thread so apologies if the topic has been covered.

I go out about once a week to pick up the mail and drop off the trash (mixed that up once and it was messy) plus every 16 days for groceries. I don't want to risk interaction beyond that with physical external variables if I don't have to. To anyone with similar self-defined limitations I ask you this: How do you spend time? The smaller my world gets the harder it seems to fill a day. Hoping for a magic bullet here but I'll take what you'll share. Thanks.

 

[wadorama]

Wow. Lots of diverse interests and talent here. Ditto on the reading (sci-fi fan) but maybe best to comb through these forums for a bit instead as suggested. Still hitting me in waves as these things do. Human F2F interaction is problematic at this point due to a couple of recent fails. My ability seems to be trending downward, but will hopefully get better someday if not soon. I miss the outdoors. Strange because it is right outside the window, but people are out there and I can’t tell what they are thinking. Going out is like a military operation for me now. I miss purpose and intention even more, but day sectioning sounds promising. Maybe easier to roll out of the rack when I only have to find a reason until noon and then on to the next. I’d rescue a cat for companionship but things are still a little chancy and it might not be fair. I appreciate all of the very helpful and sincere responses from you folks.

 

[Gracey]

... I miss the outdoors. Strange because it is right outside the window, but people are out there and I can’t tell what they are thinking. ..

I think I may be nearing the end of processing this very situation at the moment.
With some help I seem to have arrived at a place where I now believe,

"It's non of my damn business"
It never has been.

You're not clairvoyant or a mind reader so unless you come right out and ask others what they think of you you're never actually going to know for sure.

Chances are you will look for confirmation of your fears out there and that is all you'll be willing to notice. (Disregarding the many, many other things that are happening out there)

The reason I wanted you consider another perspective is because being outside in the daylight will cause physiological changes in the body (helping to lift mood)

It's something you've previously enjoyed (opening up those dopamine pathways for pleasure)
A form of exercise (always a good thing)
Sense of achievement (especially after convincing yourself you couldn't get outside)
A purpose - even if it's only the action of being 'outside'

I'm curious to understand your mention of it being a military operation to actually get outside.
Is it a physical restriction thing? Or a thought process thing? Or both?

 

[Katleya]

Well, only you really know how chancy things are, but the cat rescue may be a very good idea. I'm not currently in a country that recognizes most support animals (especially not cats), but my cat plays a major role in my mental health, and I would be much, much worse off without him, even though I have some support from my family. Taking care of a cat is also one of the few ways that I can maintain some routine activities, as he relies on me for food and a clean litterbox, otherwise I would just have let myself slip into depression. Forces me to go out for his yearly visit to the vet, etc.

 

[wadorama]

I think I may be nearing the end of processing this very situation at the moment.
With some help I seem to have arrived at a place where I now believe,

"It's non of my damn business"
It never has been.

You're not clairvoyant or a mind reader so unless you come right out and ask others what they think of you you're never actually going to know for sure.

Chances are you will look for confirmation of your fears out there and that is all you'll be willing to notice. (Disregarding the many, many other things that are happening out there)

The reason I wanted you consider another perspective is because being outside in the daylight will cause physiological changes in the body (helping to lift mood)

It's something you've previously enjoyed (opening up those dopamine pathways for pleasure)
A form of exercise (always a good thing)
Sense of achievement (especially after convincing yourself you couldn't get outside)
A purpose - even if it's only the action of being 'outside'

I'm curious to understand your mention of it being a military operation to actually get outside.
Is it a physical restriction thing? Or a thought process thing? Or both?

See, that's the thing. No physical restrictions and I feel like a total whiny-pants when I see how well others cope that have them. All thought process. I'm all up my own butt now and I wasn't before, at least not nearly this much. Always odd, always awkward, but never so much that I let it limit me.

 

[Gracey]

NOT a total whiny-pants at all.
I wouldn't waste your time going there with that. (Yet another stick to beat ourselves with?)

It's real for you. That fear (?) Is a real process in your real body. So it is happening. You're now aware of it.

Lately I've been venturing out more. Previously I could just manage appointments which were never more than once a week and always a one-to-one situation.

Very recently I volunteered to help someone with selling things at a car boot sale. (Just to put myself in the thick of things and test the "non of my business what others think of me" theory)

It worked for me in so far as I actually turned up to help and tolerated four hours of people. When I say tolerated I mean I didn't flee.

It was pretty much an "arms length" kind of interaction anyway. I wasn't trying to make friends with the customers. Just be polite, courteous and helpful should they have needed assistance. To me that's just basic manners.
What they thought of me was non of my business.

It got me out of bed, washed, dressed, out in the fresh air and daylight. It was a purpose and an achievement, and progress and learning more things about myself and my capabilities in different situations.

Once upon a time I left home at 17 and the whole world was a 'thing' I was passionately curious to learn about. Fast forward thirty years and I was too afraid to leave the safety of my own home.

My current perception, views and opinions were limiting me. A basic understanding of what's happening and searching out alternative ways or methods or understandings and beliefs to get what I want and 're training' myself one step at a time.
Learning more with each 'step'

I don't have all of the answers and can find myself in some right old pickles (I then have to get out of) but it's progress and not perfection I'm chasing.

 

[DuckRabbit]

Too much contact with the outside world can be draining, discombobulating, unproductive and sometimes even toxic; yet closing in on oneself too much, and taking too few risks, can be equally dangerous psychologically:

"The ironic thing about the narrowing-down of neurosis is that the person seeks to avoid death, but he does it by killing off so much of himself and so large a spectrum of his action-world that he is actually isolating and diminishing himself and becomes as though dead. There is just no way for the living creature to avoid life and death, and it is probably poetic justice that if he tries too hard to do so he destroys himself."

~ Becker, E. (1973). The denial of death. New York: The Free Press. p. 181.

 

[wadorama]

Building a tentative theory here. In conversations (and especially with body language) it has always seemed like my poker hand faces away from me. So at some point I began viewing all others as likely hostiles since any evidence to the contrary is lost on me. I pushed through interaction with them for fear of being homeless and alone if I didn’t. Now the former is not imminent and the latter is a lock, so that fear doesn’t seem enough to motivate me. One doesn’t move among hostiles more than necessary.

Or maybe I just lost the motivation to interact due to some cellular clock running out. Lots to mull over.

Um…I seem to have wandered off topic and lost the plot. =o(

{{C}}

 

[OkRad]

I admire you. I have to go out daily. Every interaction i have w non family is a DISASTER.

I read too much into a tiny glance and am crushed for days. Good interactions just lead to false hope. Bad ones crush me

I think i am worse than the average Aspie for sensitivity.

If i am home i get suicidal so i go out and am a freak. I look like a weirdo too. I cant hide it.

 

[Mia]

There's a cycling path very close to me, often cycle for hours when the weather's good. If I stayed on it, I could feasibly cross canada on the connecting trans-canada trails. I think about that, the quiet, the peace, the trees, the paths that seem to go on forever.

At home, I paint and draw, cook, read, work on renovations, watch my cats, talk to my spouse, dance, and exercise. When I retired, at fifty-five two years ago, I found it difficult to fill my day at first. Although sometimes I don't want to, all the doing, never really gave me time to be.

 

[bbc-bananasplit]

First post-intro thread so apologies if the topic has been covered.

I go out about once a week to pick up the mail and drop off the trash (mixed that up once and it was messy) plus every 16 days for groceries. I don't want to risk interaction beyond that with physical external variables if I don't have to. To anyone with similar self-defined limitations I ask you this: How do you spend time? The smaller my world gets the harder it seems to fill a day. Hoping for a magic bullet here but I'll take what you'll share. Thanks.

@wadorama: What keeps you indoors and secluded so much?

As I am not the outgoing and outside going type myself - finding many excuses not to leave my tiny 1.5 rooms size of a shoe box appartment - I spend a lot of time doing something / anything..

• drawing on paper and PC, painting, modelling (clay and PC)
• construction of architecture and other design objects (for fun)
• inventing things (like new types of doors or windows, new design theories)
• cooking and eating, thinking of things to cook and eat
• sleeping. I like lying on the bed (which is rockhard, since one can hardly call this matress) at any time of night or day - and usually I do not undress, since there are no covers except rough and thick blankets, which are used usually to cover furniture on the move.
• reading and writing, and visual models and diagramms on PC

> psychoanalysis, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, autism
> self psychological / psychiatric / neurological analysis of present and past personality development
> self biographic summarization and restoring / retrieving biographic memory
> self expressive texts as stories, poems, poetic prose, actual accounts, explanations to fictional others
> all this

a) out of analytical interest
b) in order to heal a dissociative identity and personality disorder due to sexual abuse in childhood
c) to understand other people and train executive function, empathy etc.
​

• thinking a lot about myself and dysfunctional self, my life (which was a rough ride), my poor relationships to others, my unsocial being, my mistrust in others, my hateful self image and the way I think about things and see things (for I might need to make some changes)
• reading and watching online i.e.:

> wired.com
> theverge.com
> google.com/maps and google earth in satellite + map + streeview mode, since I like maps and satellite images and looking at places
> books.google.com for books on psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience and other topics
> pinterest.com, tumblr.com, flickr.com, since I like collecting specific photography and patterns, structures, artwork
> wikipedia.com, since I constantly look up what I find elsewhere (i.e. cities + places from google maps, or found artwork or architecture)
> archdaily.com
> youtube.com for music + music videos, documentaries, old color and black/white footage (i.e. NYC in 1960), airplanes and turbine engines, cars
> newspapers, science
> forums
> facebook.com for writing. usually music, psychology, architecture, politics. I'm not blogging, but I know my friends like to read my posts
> monarchprogramming.wordpress.com
> movies/films​

• reading offline

> cutout newspaper articles about architecure my parents like to send me via mail
> magazines for architecture
> books​

• physics
• philosophy
• machinery
• art
• literature
• future and past, history
• imagery and visual things
• daydreaming
• analysis and solving logical-visual and verbal problems
• sorting and categorizing things, looking up stuff
• thinking about details of and in things, taking apart things
• thinking about language and words, how they sound and what they tell
• thinking about different perception of people and different meanings to things

 

[Streetwise]

c

@wadorama: What keeps you indoors and secluded so much?

As I am not the outgoing and outside going type myself - finding many excuses not to leave my tiny 1.5 rooms size of a shoe box appartment - I spend a lot of time doing something / anything..

• drawing on paper and PC, painting, modelling (clay and PC)
• construction of architecture and other design objects (for fun)
• inventing things (like new types of doors or windows, new design theories)
• cooking and eating, thinking of things to cook and eat
• sleeping. I like lying on the bed (which is rockhard, since one can hardly call this matress) at any time of night or day - and usually I do not undress, since there are no covers except rough and thick blankets, which are used usually to cover furniture on the move.
• reading and writing, and visual models and diagramms on PC

> psychoanalysis, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, autism
> self psychological / psychiatric / neurological analysis of present and past personality development
> self biographic summarization and restoring / retrieving biographic memory
> self expressive texts as stories, poems, poetic prose, actual accounts, explanations to fictional others
> all this

a) out of analytical interest
b) in order to heal a dissociative identity and personality disorder due to sexual abuse in childhood
c) to understand other people and train executive function, empathy etc.
​

• thinking a lot about myself and dysfunctional self, my life (which was a rough ride), my poor relationships to others, my unsocial being, my mistrust in others, my hateful self image and the way I think about things and see things (for I might need to make some changes)
• reading and watching online i.e.:

> wired.com
> theverge.com
> google.com/maps and google earth in satellite + map + streeview mode, since I like maps and satellite images and looking at places
> books.google.com for books on psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience and other topics
> pinterest.com, tumblr.com, flickr.com, since I like collecting specific photography and patterns, structures, artwork
> wikipedia.com, since I constantly look up what I find elsewhere (i.e. cities + places from google maps, or found artwork or architecture)
> archdaily.com
> youtube.com for music + music videos, documentaries, old color and black/white footage (i.e. NYC in 1960), airplanes and turbine engines, cars
> newspapers, science
> forums
> facebook.com for writing. usually music, psychology, architecture, politics. I'm not blogging, but I know my friends like to read my posts
> monarchprogramming.wordpress.com
> movies/films​

• reading offline

> cutout newspaper articles about architecure my parents like to send me via mail
> magazines for architecture
> books​

• physics
• philosophy
• machinery
• art
• literature
• future and past, history
• imagery and visual things
• daydreaming
• analysis and solving logical-visual and verbal problems
• sorting and categorizing things, looking up stuff
• thinking about details of and in things, taking apart things
• thinking about language and words, how they sound and what they tell
• thinking about different perception of people and different meanings to things

can you get UK TV channels in Germany ?,
there's a program called Time Team it's about archaeology but this course it's pictures which is great for people on the autism spectrum, and BBC4 often house

 

[Streetwise]

@wadorama: What keeps you indoors and secluded so much?

As I am not the outgoing and outside going type myself - finding many excuses not to leave my tiny 1.5 rooms size of a shoe box appartment - I spend a lot of time doing something / anything..

• drawing on paper and PC, painting, modelling (clay and PC)
• construction of architecture and other design objects (for fun)
• inventing things (like new types of doors or windows, new design theories)
• cooking and eating, thinking of things to cook and eat
• sleeping. I like lying on the bed (which is rockhard, since one can hardly call this matress) at any time of night or day - and usually I do not undress, since there are no covers except rough and thick blankets, which are used usually to cover furniture on the move.
• reading and writing, and visual models and diagramms on PC

> psychoanalysis, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, autism
> self psychological / psychiatric / neurological analysis of present and past personality development
> self biographic summarization and restoring / retrieving biographic memory
> self expressive texts as stories, poems, poetic prose, actual accounts, explanations to fictional others
> all this

a) out of analytical interest
b) in order to heal a dissociative identity and personality disorder due to sexual abuse in childhood
c) to understand other people and train executive function, empathy etc.
​

• thinking a lot about myself and dysfunctional self, my life (which was a rough ride), my poor relationships to others, my unsocial being, my mistrust in others, my hateful self image and the way I think about things and see things (for I might need to make some changes)
• reading and watching online i.e.:

> wired.com
> theverge.com
> google.com/maps and google earth in satellite + map + streeview mode, since I like maps and satellite images and looking at places
> books.google.com for books on psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience and other topics
> pinterest.com, tumblr.com, flickr.com, since I like collecting specific photography and patterns, structures, artwork
> wikipedia.com, since I constantly look up what I find elsewhere (i.e. cities + places from google maps, or found artwork or architecture)
> archdaily.com
> youtube.com for music + music videos, documentaries, old color and black/white footage (i.e. NYC in 1960), airplanes and turbine engines, cars
> newspapers, science
> forums
> facebook.com for writing. usually music, psychology, architecture, politics. I'm not blogging, but I know my friends like to read my posts
> monarchprogramming.wordpress.com
> movies/films​

• reading offline

> cutout newspaper articles about architecure my parents like to send me via mail
> magazines for architecture
> books​

• physics
• philosophy
• machinery
• art
• literature
• future and past, history
• imagery and visual things
• daydreaming
• analysis and solving logical-visual and verbal problems
• sorting and categorizing things, looking up stuff
• thinking about details of and in things, taking apart things
• thinking about language and words, how they sound and what they tell
• thinking about different perception of people and different meanings to things

@wadorama: What keeps you indoors and secluded so much?

As I am not the outgoing and outside going type myself - finding many excuses not to leave my tiny 1.5 rooms size of a shoe box appartment - I spend a lot of time doing something / anything..

• drawing on paper and PC, painting, modelling (clay and PC)
• construction of architecture and other design objects (for fun)
• inventing things (like new types of doors or windows, new design theories)
• cooking and eating, thinking of things to cook and eat
• sleeping. I like lying on the bed (which is rockhard, since one can hardly call this matress) at any time of night or day - and usually I do not undress, since there are no covers except rough and thick blankets, which are used usually to cover furniture on the move.
• reading and writing, and visual models and diagramms on PC

> psychoanalysis, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, autism
> self psychological / psychiatric / neurological analysis of present and past personality development
> self biographic summarization and restoring / retrieving biographic memory
> self expressive texts as stories, poems, poetic prose, actual accounts, explanations to fictional others
> all this

a) out of analytical interest
b) in order to heal a dissociative identity and personality disorder due to sexual abuse in childhood
c) to understand other people and train executive function, empathy etc.
​

• thinking a lot about myself and dysfunctional self, my life (which was a rough ride), my poor relationships to others, my unsocial being, my mistrust in others, my hateful self image and the way I think about things and see things (for I might need to make some changes)
• reading and watching online i.e.:

> wired.com
> theverge.com
> google.com/maps and google earth in satellite + map + streeview mode, since I like maps and satellite images and looking at places
> books.google.com for books on psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience and other topics
> pinterest.com, tumblr.com, flickr.com, since I like collecting specific photography and patterns, structures, artwork
> wikipedia.com, since I constantly look up what I find elsewhere (i.e. cities + places from google maps, or found artwork or architecture)
> archdaily.com
> youtube.com for music + music videos, documentaries, old color and black/white footage (i.e. NYC in 1960), airplanes and turbine engines, cars
> newspapers, science
> forums
> facebook.com for writing. usually music, psychology, architecture, politics. I'm not blogging, but I know my friends like to read my posts
> monarchprogramming.wordpress.com
> movies/films​

• reading offline

> cutout newspaper articles about architecure my parents like to send me via mail
> magazines for architecture
> books[/SI BBC Four has a lot of programs about architectureZE]​

• physics
• philosophy
• machinery
• art
• literature
• future and past, history
• imagery and visual things
• daydreaming
• analysis and solving logical-visual and verbal problems
• sorting and categorizing things, looking up stuff
• thinking about details of and in things, taking apart things
• thinking about language and words, how they sound and what they tell
• thinking about different perception of people and different meanings to things

if this is in the right place sorry correction