Outward emotions

[thejuice]

I have a theory that I'm too outwardly unemotional.

Some don't know what to make of it, especially those on the opposite end of the spectrum

Neurotypicals often say we have an Emotional deficit don't they.

Anyway I think that's why some are hostile to me, or seem to have an anxiety attack just talking to me.

I'm listening to the content of what they say but probably not coordinating appropriate facial expressions.

They probably think I'm a psychopath but inside I'm an emotional mess.

 

[thejuice]

I'm also probably too formal and dull

 

[jsilver256]

I think it's hard to really understand our own perception of ourselves.

If you are inside a building, and you have never seen the outside of a building, you don't know what it looks like, right?

Do you have a trusted person to ask how you come off to others?

 

[thejuice]

When I said my new neighbour wasn't very friendly dad replied well you do look scary with a pony tail (?!)

 

[Levitat0r]

I think it's hard to really understand our own perception of ourselves.

If you are inside a building, and you have never seen the outside of a building, you don't know what it looks like, right?

Do you have a trusted person to ask how you come off to others?

It's really bizarre to me to have an abnormality of attention flow, and that's why it's an "issue" that hides from you. I put that in quotes, because for me, it's ultimately an issue of how people perceive me, because, as they say, I'm fully functional. But regardless, you don't see it because, when you're looking at yourself, your attention is in a static state. When you're out in the world doing stuff, and you're multitasking, and shifting from one thing to another, people see your eyes rolling around, and your spazzy, disjointed movements. They don't care that they work fine for you, they're offended that they don't resemble what they're accustomed to. If I'm busy with something, and you distract me, I'll look over at you with a vacant-looking Ray Charles stare because my brain is still on the original task. That freaks people out, but it's my normal, and it works for me.

 

[Levitat0r]

lol

 

[jsilver256]

When I said my new neighbour wasn't very friendly dad replied well you do look scary with a pony tail (?!)

is neighbors a thing in the UK? I don't think I've met any of mine

 

[Levitat0r]

View attachment 135737
lol

But, anyway, I'm content to at least know who I am. I like being the way I am. I respect other people who are like that. I have a new sense of compassion and connectedness to them. I have a tremendous incentive to overcome not only my awkwardness, but also recognizing that I have every obligation to overcome others' awkwardness because it's the same. I'm not ashamed. On the country, it's the world that should be ashamed for mistreating people for having a clumsy, uncoordinated mind. And I know it seems like a lot of vanity, but once you know thyself, you can be proud of who you are, and instead of fighting it, or trying to compensate for it, you can roll with it and wear it with pride. Am I going to waste energy at the restaurant, sitting up straight, attempting to emulate the normal people? No, I'm going to slouch in the corner, because that's how I feel comfortable, and people can see comfort, and contentment, and not a struggle to satisfy anyone. I can be mentally about twenty forever and be happy and confident forever that way.

 

[thejuice]

is neighbors a thing in the UK? I don't think I've met any of mine

Unfortunately yes and they attach their house to the side of your house

 

[thejuice]

But, anyway, I'm content to at least know who I am. I like being the way I am

I remember your great Staind cover, could tell you really identified with the lyrics

 

[Levitat0r]

is neighbors a thing in the UK? I don't think I've met any of mine

No, Brits are more sophisticated, so they have "neighbours", so, they only blast classical music, and when they dump their trash over the fence it's always just used tea bags, and not rotting White Castle's.

 

[thejuice]

We might be awkward but we don't tend to be purposely rude, I'll never understand why people are like that.

 

[Levitat0r]

I remember your great Staind cover, could tell you really identified with the lyrics

It's not that great, and most of that stuff is work-in-progress, so I replace the uploads every few months. It's very rare I do one that doesn't have a cringe or two in it. I feel like Aaron Lewis tends to speak for himself, and that's what Aaron did in the Bible, by coincidence.

 

[thejuice]

Well yeah that's what the song is about being yourself right?

 

[Levitat0r]

We might be awkward but we don't tend to be purposely rude, I'll never understand why people are like that.

I was more commenting on the nature of neighbors in general, and then imagining what would happen if you Britishized the manner of neighbors I'm familiar with, rather than to be mean to the British. I tend to like them, actually.

 

[thejuice]

I'd rather you leave it all out there with a cringe moment than a half arse version!

 

[thejuice]

I was more commenting on the nature of neighbors in general, and then imagining what would happen if you Britishized the manner of neighbors I'm familiar with, rather than to be mean to the British. I tend to like them, actually.

I was referring to your previous comment, it did look like a reply to that though. I liked the joke.

 

[thejuice]

We're used to people being mean to us

 

[Levitat0r]

Well yeah that's what the song is about being yourself right?

It's about being unchangeably yourself, yes, and then the lyrics:

"Not really good at just paying attention
I'm not very good at remembering things that you say
I'm not very good at pursuing redemption
Not very good at concealing the hand that I play
It's the way I am
You'll never change
The way I am
Or rearrange
The way I am
Just let me be
The way I am
It's the way I am
I'm not really sure of the coming attractions
I'm not really sure of illusions we read on the wall
I'm not really sure of the preaching we practice
I'm not really sure if we'll notice it before we fall
..."

He's talking about refusing to change for a corrupt world which is destined to decline and collpase. And he also follows his Christian obligations to remember that he's not perfect either. He gets angry, he "hates" sin and error. he can't shake that, but he's also not going to cave into a world that's condemned by destiny.

 

[Rocco]

My face becomes devoid of expression at times, or my expression does not match my feelings. This can make people around me confused, like two days ago for example, I was with a date and they got all self conscious because of my expression or lack there of. My dog will also push to get my attention when my face goes blank, as though he is worried about me or something. (I think that he thinks he is a service dog ) Most of the time I am content or feel at peace when my face blanks out though, so it is not a fair indicator of what’s happening in my head in that moment.