Online dating: how has it worked for you?

[Zeno]

Anyone here used online dating and had any success(or failure stories)? Or actual relationships?
I have found that for me, it is really the only way that works when it comes to meeting women. But lately my luck has soured. I live a big city(Seattle ATM) where there is a massive surplus of single men so the dating scene is dismal either way. I am seriously determined to move away from here by the end of this decade.

 

[JackSkellington]

I did online dating sites with no luck for a long time, then I found the woman I would marry on OkCupid. I got lucky and she only lived about an hour away. We met a few weeks after chatting online, dated for a while. Then got married in October 2015. We are still happily married.

 

[The Penguin]

Online dating sites I had no success. Everyone I connected that I had long distance relationships gave up within time. I did connect with one person locally on a dating site. Once they meet me in person, they learned I'm not their ideal person.

Non dating site related, I did connect with someone online when ICQ was popular. This was before Skype days. Anyhow, we did meet in person after 6 months and had a long distance relationship for 8 years. I visit her country 4 times and she visit my country once. Despite the relationship is over, I have no regret doing it. If I ever did connect with another good person online again, I would do it again.

I have met many people had online relationships that things workout successfully and within time both people lived in the same area.

 

[Alaska]

Anyone here used online dating and had any success(or failure stories)? Or actual relationships?
I have found that for me, it is really the only way that works when it comes to meeting women. But lately my luck has soured. I live a big city(Seattle ATM) where there is a massive surplus of single men so the dating scene is dismal either way. I am seriously determined to move away from here by the end of this decade.

Moving to a place with a ratio of men to women that goes more in your favor sounds like a good plan for you. Don't give up the online search, meanwhile.

I have met several couples who got together through online dating sites and they seemed happily married. I had a few close calls with online dating experiences, so keep trying.

 

[paloftoon]

Online dating has allowed me to potentially meet all kinds of people I would've otherwise probably never run in to. A few really good matches, one of which I had messed up unfortunately. At least the possibilities are there. I have a hard time considering long distance like over multiple states and more than 1 hr. drive one way for anything beyond friendship.

 

[Jet Weiss]

I met my boyfriend online (on a different site). We live close to each other and are matched well imo.

 

[Suiseiseki]

Got laid a few times, been on a ton of very boring dates, met the person I hoped I would marry, or end up with in some form, didn't go that way.
It just kind of ended, I still don't exactly know what happened, she had problems herself, like me, it was... I don't know I finally understood someone.

I never felt so... I guess sad, I don't want to date anymore.

 

[Shiznown]

Third wave feminism messed it up for a lot of men. I'm going to most likely marry a foreign woman.

 

[Shiznown]

 

[Suiseiseki]

Third wave feminism messed it up for a lot of men. I'm going to most likely marry a foreign woman.

the girl I liked wasn't at all a feminist, quite right wing actually, which made it even more special.
She dreamed of being a housewife, she didn't want a career, she hated working, and I do hope she gets that dream, I can't be bitter like that to her.
Not that she would ever know, unless she is spying on me, though why she would care to do that is beyond me.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Third wave feminism messed it up for a lot of men. I'm going to most likely marry a foreign woman.

im sick of hearing guys complain about not meeting anyone because of feminism, as far im concerned its just a self defence mechanism to avoid addressing their own issues that are the actual cause of them not meeting anyone i.e acting entitled, being disrespectful etc.

in my experience if you're friendly, respectful, kind and spend time working on yourself i.e social skills, fitness, hobbies and interests etc. while getting out there and meeting people as friends with no expectations of more then people who you match really well with will come into your life eventually.

i have tried online dating and find it pretty useless, ive had many dates from it but none i connected with romantically (i have become good platonic friends with some of my dates since though which makes the whole process worthwhile). i think the sort of people who interest me are not the sort who use online dating and thus as always the best thing for me to do is meet people out in the real world, online dating can be a good distraction when this isn't possible however (i.e in the middle of nowhere in Sweden for two months volunteering as im doing now).

 

[Shiznown]

im sick of hearing guys complain about not meeting anyone because of feminism, as far im concerned its just a self defence mechanism to avoid addressing their own issues that are the actual cause of them not meeting anyone i.e acting entitled, being disrespectful etc.

in my experience if you're friendly, respectful, kind and spend time working on yourself i.e social skills, fitness, hobbies and interests etc. while getting out there and meeting people as friends with no expectations of more then people who you match really well with will come into your life eventually.

i have tried online dating and find it pretty useless, ive had many dates from it but none i connected with romantically (i have become good platonic friends with some of my dates since though which makes the whole process worthwhile). i think the sort of people who interest me are not the sort who use online dating and thus as always the best thing for me to do is meet people out in the real world, online dating can be a good distraction when this isn't possible however (i.e in the middle of nowhere in Sweden for two months volunteering as im doing now).

I'm a Libertarian and very Conservative women(which is rare here) don't like me and the liberal women hate me. I guess that's my issue, that I have the wrong ideology, huh? If you're single I don't see how you can even make that assessment.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

I'm a Libertarian and very Conservative women(which is rare here) don't like me and the liberal women hate me. I guess that's my issue, that I have the wrong ideology, huh? If you're single I don't see how you can even make that assessment.

well you're certainly entitled to your political views but its your choice whether it gets in the way of dating, I've dated people who have different political opinions to me and that's been fine because we just avoid discussing it.

im single now but have just come out of a relationship. someone special might not come up for years or months but they will if you work on yourself, are friendly and kind and try and meet as many people as possible.

if you continuously struggle with dating the problem is invariably you and not other people, whether that be your situation (i.e. you live in a remote area with few potential partners) and cant change it, lack of social skills which can be worked on however hard that may be or something else.

 

[Shiznown]

well you're certainly entitled to your political views but its your choice whether it gets in the way of dating, I've dated people who have different political opinions to me and that's been fine because we just avoid discussing it.

im single now but have just come out of a relationship. someone special might not come up for years or months but they will if you work on yourself, are friendly and kind and try and meet as many people as possible.

if you continuously struggle with dating the problem is invariably you and not other people, whether that be your situation (i.e. you live in a remote area with few potential partners) and cant change it, lack of social skills which can be worked on however hard that may be or something else.

Okay, so how is it my choice when they bring up politics? Do you suggest I just lie to them?

 

[Judge]

Okay, so how is it my choice when they bring up politics? Do you suggest I just lie to them?

Given your predicament, perhaps much of any woman who brings up politics is your queue to leave. Then again, maybe the lack of interest on the part of the women you approach could be your best "litmus test" short of finding someone who actually shares your views.

If politics is too strong a force in your life, then perhaps you should be clear on your own priorities. To determine whether you truly want to marry an ideal, or marry the love of your life. That is your choice as well.

As long as you remain in a political environment contrary to you ideologically speaking, the two considerations may well prove to remain mutually exclusive of one another.

What happened to your thoughts of moving to Indiana? Not a bad idea.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Okay, so how is it my choice when they bring up politics? Do you suggest I just lie to them?

Well you can tell them honestly that you don't want to discuss it for one, it is impossible to avoid forever though and will come up eventually, at which point what is wrong with friendly discussion with mutual respect for each others differing opinions.

 

[tree]

I found this worth reading, regarding
communication between people whose
opinions differ.

How to Deal With Opinionated People

 

[Judge]

I tried one a couple times, just for giggles. Either my standards were too high or theirs were, as I never had any success. Oddly, for some reason an operatic soprano became interested in me even though we had absolutely nothing in common. She was a very nice woman, highly educated with a high earning potential (that's important after a certain age), and had a broad range of interests. Despite those qualities, I was not attracted to her. I don't know if it was because she was built like a linebacker or she was way too sophisticated. Whatever the case, I had to nicely find a way to cut her off since she was calling me and even writing letters; to this day I haven't a clue how she got my phone number or address.

Sounds like that linebacker played for the Stalkers. Not one of my favorite teams!

Could be worse I suppose. Imagine having feelings for someone only to discover many years later that you've been "catfished". That happened to me in the early 90s.

 

[Butterfly88]

I tried a lesbian dating app once, called Only Women. I filled out my profile and uploaded a picture, the first selfie I had ever taken. I happened to show my online dating profile to my mom who said the picture I selected was taken from a rather odd angle. Having never taken a selfie before and being an aspie I didn't realize how terrible I looked in the picture until she pointed it out. I contacted a few girls and they never answered, probably due to the bad photo. I had girl ask me if I considered myself dominant or submissive in a relationship. I feel relationships should be both people give and take so I never answered as I didn't feel comfortable with that. I had another girl I chatted with for a day or two but I quickly got annoyed with her. I felt she was too clingy. She made some jokes, I got some of them and some I didn't, but the ones I got I didn't think were funny. Then she called me too serious. I got so sick of constantly messaging me that I just never answered and deleted the app from my phone, I couldn't take it, she was too extroverted for me. I just gave up after that. I could have tried another app with a better picture or looked for someone more introverted but I was so annoyed I never bothered.

 

[bchamp]

I haven't tried to date online in quite a while, mostly to figure out my life. But when I tried out, tinder, OKC, POF, and some others. Never met anyone. One time I almost had a date, then for some reason they cancelled and well.. didn't hear from again.