Once again I am in the abyss of depression

[Perkinsj88]

I finally realized today that its been over 6 months since I've conversed with anyone other than my wife and my mother. I think I can officially say I am friendless once again, mostly thanks to my two newest obsessions. My days have been filled with staring at coins in search of those elusive errors and blowing stuff up in ARMA 3, I had no time to maintain friendships!! Ah well, theres always the search for dear Mr.Lincoln's portrait displaying an extra ear lobe, who needs friends right?! Sorry, just needed to get it off my chest. The realization of the last 6 wasted months was troubling. Now then, what must my next obsession be?! Ideas anyone?

 

[Ereth]

Consider counseling if you're depressed. Isolation can be particularly harmful when one's mood is poor.

 

[King_Oni]

What you should wonder is if these obsession are worth the isolation.

Do you find enough enjoyment and strength to get through life without friends and just with your hobbies? If so, I'm inclined your just having a rough patch like everyone else once in a while. If it's social interaction you crave, you could look into prioritizing your hobbies and friendships, especially since hobbies are taking away your ability to maintain friends (from what I read) and by not maintaining friendships you're feeling down.

 

[Perkinsj88]

I've tried counseling, I rarely tell my wife what's 'bothering' me....when I'm in that chair what needs to be said never does, even when I want it to I juwt can't, I always draw a blank whike the therapist stares at me as if I know what I should talk about. As for your reply King, I would say nearly 99% of the time I'm very happy not socializing. I've had pretty nasty social anxiety since grade school..sometimes I want to talk and such I just don't know what or how to say it. Mostly I've found having a friend or two as more of a chore, I dislike 'normal' friend activities and feel obligated to participate in them when maintaining friends. Its probably just a rough patch as you said, I've been out of work over 2 years now so that hasn't helped. Thank you both sincerely for the replies!

 

[nowwhat]

Consider counseling if you're depressed. Isolation can be particularly harmful when one's mood is poor.

Yeah, but it's tasty at such times!

 

[Tarragon]

I can go a long time without talking to anyone, and how I balance this is I go to my local supermarket and chat to the cashier when I'm paying for my goods. I bet they think Im a fantastic social animal(!). As soon as I leave the shop, I don't talk to anyone else!!

Thats my entire human interaction dealt with for days on end. It balances me a little bit. If the cashier talks boring stuff, it affirms my view that other people aren't worth dealing with. If, on the other hand, I have a fun little chat, it cheers me up and makes me feel better for a bit. I do have a group of cashiers I like talking to, and a group I don't. Makes it easy for me to choose whether I want to chat a little or not.

There you have a little glimpse of my world!

 

[supernova]

You don't say how your wife feels about things. If she's happy with the way you are then that's fine because you do have someone to talk to (other than the cashiers).

 

[total-recoil]

Same for me. Totally isolated. I've given up trying to make friends or socialise as cannot connect with normal people. Sometimes it makes me a a bit bitter and angry but I know deep down it's not all negative as some people actually like me. However, the bottom line is I just cannot relate and connect so I now simply spend hours and hours either studying electronics or doing music. Fortunately I seem to feel so much better spending time with the dog as I connect fine to animals.
I don't get depressed as much as I get exasperated as I find people in general so shallow and self absorbed and it seems they don't try to accept people who may be just a bit different to the norm.

I've tried counseling, I rarely tell my wife what's 'bothering' me....when I'm in that chair what needs to be said never does, even when I want it to I juwt can't, I always draw a blank whike the therapist stares at me as if I know what I should talk about. As for your reply King, I would say nearly 99% of the time I'm very happy not socializing. I've had pretty nasty social anxiety since grade school..sometimes I want to talk and such I just don't know what or how to say it. Mostly I've found having a friend or two as more of a chore, I dislike 'normal' friend activities and feel obligated to participate in them when maintaining friends. Its probably just a rough patch as you said, I've been out of work over 2 years now so that hasn't helped. Thank you both sincerely for the replies!

 

[Perkinsj88]

I was able to connect with animals when I was young, any pet I had managed to get itself..well..dead....so I just stopped trying with pets. I grew up on a backwoods farm so lots of predators roamed about, it wasn't neglect it was just dumb dogs escaping to chase bobcats and stray/wild dogs. My wife is relatively anti social as well so she doesn't mind that bit...she doesn't like it when a day goes past and I've barely spoken to her though...I never mean to..generally I just don't talk if I can get away with it.

 

[total-recoil]

Very hard to explain this but I have a perspective that originates from my special interest which is radio electronics. I see my brain as like a receiver that is tuned to a different frequency than N.T. people. As if you have all these sets that are tuned to 160 KHZ but you are only picking up signals at, say, 200 KHZ. The net result is you just feel disconnected and inevitably isolated. In my case this has always been a very strong symptom. I can connect perfectly well with animals but not human beings. When in company I can make jokes, talk a lot and chat but really there is no actual connection. So, it really seems as if it's like being set at a different frequency.
Being in company of animals helps me a lot as I find animals are more loyal and I read animals very well.

I was able to connect with animals when I was young, any pet I had managed to get itself..well..dead....so I just stopped trying with pets. I grew up on a backwoods farm so lots of predators roamed about, it wasn't neglect it was just dumb dogs escaping to chase bobcats and stray/wild dogs. My wife is relatively anti social as well so she doesn't mind that bit...she doesn't like it when a day goes past and I've barely spoken to her though...I never mean to..generally I just don't talk if I can get away with it.