New Year's Rant

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Today was horrible. First, my brother was awake before me and our of his room when he was supposed to stay in there before I woke up, so I could make sure he doesn't do anything stupid like sneak out. Then, he rubbed the bag up against me and almost spilled it out on me when we were struggling to get it into the dumpster. Next, my mother comes home and scolds me because I forgot to keep my door open to make sure I see when my brother comes out of his room. Then the car's oil leakage is so bad that we had to drive all the way to Walmart, and we came home, but my mother's stuck on the phone, so I don't know what we're gonna do about the car. I don't even understand what went on at Walmart with the car because she talked to the guy alone.

Now I wish I didn't make it to 2019.. Just based on today, I already know I have a bad year awaiting me.. And thanks to my stupid curse (that I was apparently born with), I may not even survive this year. I wish I could've been born blessed like everyone else, but I wasn't. I don't even know if I was created by God or created by Satan to be miserable..

Things just keep getting worse for me, andand a bad day of the first day of a new year!? Why me!? IThere's nothing I can do about except just sit there and wait for something to take me away from all this.. People say that I don't know what pain is just because I'm not working yet, but my life's already been pain enough. This has nothing to do with my autism or my sensitive hearing, sorry. This is about me just being born cursed.. Sorry for using so many emojis. I'm just in pain right now..

 

[Mattymatt]

Hey man! Just try and remember that this is only one bad day. One bad day does not the end maketh. As I write this, I am taking a huge tablespoon of my own medicine. Today was frustrating because I was in task completing mode but nothing was opened where I needed to go to get stuff done. Do you know where the oil leakage is coming from? Is the car burning oil? Mechanical malfunctions can be very stressful. Maybe try googling your make and model with keywords like common leak points. For example: 2008 Ford Explorer common oil leaks. Tell me what kind of car it is and I might be able to provide you with some direction to go. I am not really mechanically inclined but I once replaced the valve cover gaskets on a Buick 3300 motor. That was a common leak point for those motors. After popping the covers off, I de-greased the heck out of them and cleaned the areas around the valves where the new gasket material was to go. Given that I am mechanically inept, I was pretty proud of myself for getting that far.

I don't believe you were born cursed just like I don't believe I was born cursed, rather we were born with a set of challenges that are only challenges because we have to abide by a society which flows against our natural currents. I was in get a job mode because I desperately need work. I think I filled out close to 10 applications but I am still at loose ends. When I get into task completion mode, I am like a mad man. I guess I am in a bit of a painful state myself. Just remember that this is only for today. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Hey man! Just try and remember that this is only one bad day. One bad day does not the end maketh. As I write this, I am taking a huge tablespoon of my own medicine. Today was frustrating because I was in task completing mode but nothing was opened where I needed to go to get stuff done. Do you know where the oil leakage is coming from? Is the car burning oil? Mechanical malfunctions can be very stressful. Maybe try googling your make and model with keywords like common leak points. For example: 2008 Ford Explorer common oil leaks. Tell me what kind of car it is and I might be able to provide you with some direction to go. I am not really mechanically inclined but I once replaced the valve cover gaskets on a Buick 3300 motor. That was a common leak point for those motors. After popping the covers off, I de-greased the heck out of them and cleaned the areas around the valves where the new gasket material was to go. Given that I am mechanically inept, I was pretty proud of myself for getting that far.

I don't believe you were born cursed just like I don't believe I was born cursed, rather we were born with a set of challenges that are only challenges because we have to abide by a society which flows against our natural currents. I was in get a job mode because I desperately need work. I think I filled out close to 10 applications but I am still at loose ends. When I get into task completion mode, I am like a mad man. I guess I am in a bit of a painful state myself. Just remember that this is only for today. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?

It isn't about the car alone or my autism. I'm fine with autism. It's the string of bad events that keep happening today. I'm worried I might lose someone this year. Idk who it will be, but I'm dreading it..

 

[Mattymatt]

It isn't about the car alone or my autism. I'm fine with autism. It's the string of bad events that keep happening today. I'm worried I might lose someone this year. Idk who it will be, but I'm dreading it..

Well, at least you've been able to pin down your feelings to something. Do you know of anyone close to you that is gravely sick or ill? Are you able to articulate why it is you're worried?

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Well, at least you've been able to pin down your feelings to something. Do you know of anyone close to you that is gravely sick or ill? Are you able to articulate why it is you're worried?

Not that I know of, but anything can happen..

 

[Fino]

That's how dramatic I was as a teenager!

I found it helpful to change the language I used, even if my intense feelings felt it was warranted. I remember when I first started catching and stopping myself from using phrases like, "God hates me," "Everyone hates me," "I wish I was never born," and any other horribly depressing and, more importantly, illogical statements.

After years of rejecting such thoughts, it's now gotten to the point where the thoughts almost never even try to intrude.

I also remember when this--which is a big part of cognitive behavioral therapy--was suggested to me, I didn't like it because it sounded like such a slow process. I wanted to feel better NOW, and I didn't want to have to put continuous effort into something that I wasn't convinced would help anyway.

But once I finally did it, it was worth it.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

That's how dramatic I was as a teenager!

I found it helpful to change the language I used, even if my intense feelings felt it was warranted. I remember when I first started catching and stopping myself from using phrases like, "God hates me," "Everyone hates me," "I wish I was never born," and any other horribly depressing and, more importantly, illogical statements.

After years of rejecting such thoughts, it's now gotten to the point where the thoughts almost never even try to intrude.

I also remember when this--which is a big part of cognitive behavioral therapy--was suggested to me, I didn't like it because it sounded like such a slow process. I wanted to feel better NOW, and I didn't want to have to put continuous effort into something that I wasn't convinced would help anyway.

But once I finally did it, it was worth it.

Are you implying that I'm just being dramatic??? You don't know the bad luck I lived with my whole life! I don't even feel like talking about it (because I'm too lazy to type all that), but as a child, I thought of myself as a mistake and didn't even know it until I learned that I had depression. For me, it's not as simple to just ignore these thoughts. I've felt like this my whole life and even had to take pills at one point until they started giving me suicidal thoughts, and I had to stop taking them. What LOOKS like me "overreacting over little stuff" is what I'm ACTUALLY feeling. Now if you're not implying that, then, like I said, it's not that simple for me.

 

[Fino]

I'm not at all intending to diminish your pain or suggest your life isn't extraordinarily difficult.

"Just being dramatic," no. Overly-dramatic, I think maybe, yes. It's only when something isn't logical that it's overly dramatic. For example, this paragraph:

Now I wish I didn't make it to 2019.. Just based on today, I already know I have a bad year awaiting me.. And thanks to my stupid curse (that I was apparently born with), I may not even survive this year. I wish I could've been born blessed like everyone else, but I wasn't. I don't even know if I was created by God or created by Satan to be miserable..

I suppose if you truly believe in curses, truly believe that all of the more than six billion people in the world were blessed except you, and that there's a God and Satan who each create people and you now think that perhaps you were created by Satan with the intent for you to be miserable--if you truly believe all of that to be true, then I take it back that you were being dramatic.

If you don't literally believe those things, then what I said applies about removing those sorts of thoughts from our minds.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I'm not at all intending to diminish your pain or suggest your life isn't extraordinarily difficult.

"Just being dramatic," no. Overly-dramatic, I think maybe, yes. It's only when something isn't logical that it's overly dramatic. For example, this paragraph:



I suppose if you truly believe in curses, truly believe that all of the more than six billion people in the world were blessed except you, and that there's a God and Satan who each create people and you now think that perhaps you were created by Satan with the intent for you to be miserable--if you truly believe all of that to be true, then I take it back that you were being dramatic.

If you don't literally believe those things, then what I said applies about removing those sorts of thoughts from our minds.

They say God doesn't make mistakes or make his children miserable; Satan does, so I often wonder if I was created by Satan instead or if Satan could even create anything.

 

[Pats]

Sounds like you had a really bad day. I hope tomorrow is better and will show you that the rest of the year can be better, too.

 

[Pats]

They say God doesn't make mistakes or make his children miserable; Satan does, so I often wonder if I was created by Satan instead or if Satan could even create anything.

Satan doesn't create - he only destroys. God creates and doesn't make mistakes, but Satan can certainly make it appear as such.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Satan doesn't create - he only destroys. God creates and doesn't make mistakes, but Satan can certainly make it appear as such.

Oh.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

Sounds like you had a really bad day. I hope tomorrow is better and will show you that the rest of the year can be better, too.

Thanks. Idk about tomorrow, but I might as well see..

 

[SusanLR]

I don't know about all this who created what or why, but, I like your avatar.
Makes me think of a cartoon drawing of a woman I used to play tennis with nick named Hyena
because she was always laughing.

I've had a string of hardships through out life too.
Just going with the flow of the river. Sometimes there's rapids more than smooth waters.
Yep, might as well see what's around the bend for tomorrow.
Our boats will crash soon enough.