Neurotype has no bearing on how difficult a relationship is.

[ksheehan88]

As the title says (at least in my experience).

I struggle just as much if not MORE trying to keep a relationship going with an aspie. We both overanalyze and get mad and frustrated and misunderstand eachother and its so hard.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Well, no one has a corner on the overanalyzing and misunderstanding markets so understandable. Communication is always key in a relationship. Without good communication, it's hopeless.

 

[ksheehan88]

We try to communicate, but the misunderstandings and then complete overthinking makes it tough to believe or accept the others words.

 

[LucyPurrs]

That is hard I agree. Is it possible that using written communication might help? Also using KISS? Do you have anything to lose by allowing yourself to trust the other person?

 

[NTGUY]

I feel like I am the one overthinking everything in my relationship with someone who has AS. I'm not sure if he does too or not. To me, it feels like he doesn't.

 

[ksheehan88]

That is hard I agree. Is it possible that using written communication might help? Also using KISS? Do you have anything to lose by allowing yourself to trust the other person?

I'm not sure what KISS is?

No, because trust or no trust, if somethings going wrong its going wrong either way... I just find all this so difficult.

 

[Nitro]

I'm not sure what KISS is?

In engineering, we used it to refer to it as "Keep It Simple Stupid"

 

[LucyPurrs]

Yup Nitro, that's it.

 

[Judge]

In engineering, we used it to refer to it as "Keep It Simple Stupid"

Insurance too.

 

[Mia]

We try to communicate, but the misunderstandings and then complete overthinking makes it tough to believe or accept the others words.

And one of the worst parts, is how we tend toward telling one another what they think the other person wants to hear, but not really meaning it. You have to cut through it all and go underneath all the learned behavior, and then when you get there, the person is uncertain of their feelings and only knows they feel something. But not quite what that is. It can be challenging and frustrating and so you just sort of wait it out, and the other person says nothing, hoping the problem will go away. It's like a blank space, with nothing resolved.

 

[WittyAspie]

So you're telling me that my entire dating strategy is flawed?

 

[WittyAspie]

Considering what happened this week, maybe it is.