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Nervous about what my partner will think if they see me stim

I

Ilya

New Member
So my partner and I have been together for a few months and they know that I am autistic but they've never seen me stim or anything and I get really embarrassed about it sometimes... Can anyone give me some advice about this...?
 
HOW do you stim?

Leg bouncing, etc., isn't so noticeable. If you leap up and down, pirouette through the kitchen, or practice the haka, you will stand out a bit more.

Be completely open with your "partner" and I am sure that if this person is decent, you won't be treated poorly.

But it will go OK for you both. Betcha.
 
I usually twitch a lot or I'll tap my fingers... sometimes I do the thing where I'll tap my wrists together repeatedly or I'll shake my hands...
 
Welcome. If the relationship continues you'll simply need to overcome that obstacle. The person will either accept you as you are or they won't. It's likely they will accept you and you can move on in the relationship.

It's the same with bodily functions. In a relationship, someone is going to have to be brave enough to be the first to "let things rip" or both people will be destined to a relationship that isn't completely accepting about things that are natural. In other words, it won't be entirely genuine.
 
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Welcome to the Forums @Ilya

Glad to see you have just jumped in.
Do pull up a chair, make yourself at home.
 
Hi, and Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!
 
Perfect you are here. Welcome.

Just was thinking about stims and me doing it.

Gum - sugarless gum. This has helped in jobs, and around people if l am agitated trying to get to drive to see him.

Gym is good. Repetitive exercises, lift weights, really it feels like stimming. Ballet barre is very repetitive.

Find something that makes you feel okay and is acceptable perhaps.

Welcome again.
 
Lately I have been stimming mostly when they go to work and stop when they get home...
I'm just scared that they'll hate me or something and I really don't want them to leave me...
I told them that I'm autistic but they didn't really care for learning about it at all and that makes me nervous about if I stop masking around them...
 
Ilya said:
Lately I have been stimming mostly when they go to work and stop when they get home...
I'm just scared that they'll hate me or something and I really don't want them to leave me...
I told them that I'm autistic but they didn't really care for learning about it at all and that makes me nervous about if I stop masking around them...
Click to expand...

How do you feel about the idea of masking around them for the rest of your life? Do you think you'd be ok with that?
 
I dunno... I've had to do it around my parents and when I was at school for so long that's it's just normal for me to mask around people...
I would like be able to let my guard down when I'm with them tho...
Do you have any advice about how to tell them maybe?
 
Just be like "You want to hear something funny? Sometimes when I'm nervous I....".

Most likely they will think it's cute. Who knows, they might come back with, "I thought I was the only one who did that!"

If they think it's stupid, move on. Because you deserve to be able to be an authentic human being.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
Just be like "You want to hear something funny? Sometimes when I'm nervous I....".

Most likely they will think it's cute. Who knows, they might come back with, "I thought I was the only one who did that!"

If they think it's stupid, move on. Because you deserve to be able to be an authentic human being.
Click to expand...

Outstanding advice.
 
Be yourself. I used to mask constantly and it was detrimental to my physical health. I became less decisive, as well, and tended to be "too shy."
 
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