Negative feedback on my Quest! HUMILIATED

[OkRad]

Overreactted perhpas

 

[Allicat]

Wait wait wait - BREATHE. Yes, it's a boilerplate response, but it ISN'T a no. In fact, it gives you an opening to push the agenda. If you're up for a it, do a bit of research and send them a list of other places that offer sensory sensitive times. Let 'em know you hope they can offer the same consideration that Art Galleries, the NFL, movie theaters, etc, already offer. I don't know if anyone else at your gym has commented, but if they have, ask if they'd be willing to put their name to it.

Few other things to keep in mind. They may have absolutely no idea how difficult that was for you to do (we know tho!). And folks acting wonky around you may have nothing to do with anything you've done; don't get down on yourself until you are sure (as in, someone tells you). And even then, f*ck em. You're doing the right thing - don't lose sight of that!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I don't see anything that you quoted with the letter as negative. Although people can be very passive aggressive are you sure you interpreted it right? Were you going into the gym expecting to meet people who were going to be off with you? I can completely believe that they were like this to you but I would like to find out if you interpreted it correctly or not.

 

[tree]

@OkRad

I believe you are strongly over-reacting to
a story that you are telling yourself about the
meaning of the words in the letter.

The letter contains nothing negative.
The letter says that they need time to think
about what you wrote to them.

 

[midlife aspie]

Please be wary of allowing ASSumptions to influence your behavior in that place. If you act badly before they decide, the result of your petition will be a forgone conclusion. Private establishments can and do 'blacklist' people.

 

[Full Steam]

People often send out boiler plate responses while they think and consider.

It's better that than giving no response while they think about it.

Also, beware of assuming what people are thinking - maybe they were worried about you, but didn't know how to ask if you were ok?

 

[OkRad]

It is possible

 

[Full Steam]

I've fallen victim to my own incorrect and negative assumptions many times, and I think that my misreading at the start sets off a chain reaction of feedback.

I've even been paranoid when babies have stared at me too long.

 

[Alcyon]

I've fallen victim to my own incorrect and negative assumptions many times, and I think that my misreading at the start sets off a chain reaction of feedback.

I've even been paranoid when babies have stared at me too long.

Oh, so important! Whenever possible-and it usually is-after the initial reaction to something I perceive as negative, I take a breath and think of the words of Oliver Cromwell: "...think it possible you may be mistaken." I take it as a given that I am misreading the situation, to some extent, and press on to achieve whatever my goal is for the interaction, even if it's only a partial victory.

I got in the habit of doing this even before my diagnosis; it's a good thing. @OkRad , I didn't get to see the letter, but I hope that you might view it as an opening gambit, show them a counter-move.

I still don't get why in the age of wi-fi and bluetooth music in a gym is a thing anymore...

 

[Full Steam]

Oh, so important! Whenever possible-and it usually is-after the initial reaction to something I perceive as negative, I take a breath and think of the words of Oliver Cromwell: "...think it possible you may be mistaken." I take it as a given that I am misreading the situation, to some extent, and press on to achieve whatever my goal is for the interaction, even if it's only a partial victory.

I got in the habit of doing this even before my diagnosis; it's a good thing. @OkRad , I didn't get to see the letter, but I hope that you might view it as an opening gambit, show them a counter-move.

I still don't get why in the age of wi-fi and bluetooth music in a gym is a thing anymore...

I do something similar to that too.

I try to maintain a gap between myself and the situation in hand.


Regarding music in public places, that's always annoyed me too.

 

[Zarazai]

Oh, so important! Whenever possible-and it usually is-after the initial reaction to something I perceive as negative, I take a breath and think of the words of Oliver Cromwell: "...think it possible you may be mistaken." I take it as a given that I am misreading the situation, to some extent, and press on to achieve whatever my goal is for the interaction, even if it's only a partial victory.

Okay, wow, I really need to start doing this. I perceive a lot of things as negative and insulting towards me and even now, years after I got over most of my paranoia about people laughing at me and stuff, I still assume to worst of people a decent amount. I'm going to try to do what you said, more often if possible, so as to avoid making serious mistakes.