Need your advice on Aspergers and group learning

[harrietjansson]

I have this understanding: Group learning is difficult for us aspies. Bloody hard. I hate when people teach a group instead of me. I have a professional guiding me in how I as an aspie work and she says this is the biggest issues we face. Last meeting we had I told her about this and she says I out words to the biggest issue/problem I have. People think that if you put a person in a group they will grow into the group automatically. Doesn't even work for all NTs. I need someone who meets me where I am. This is why I like taking music lessons. The teacher can guide me rather than the group. But then private lessons can be a problem if I don't let the teacher take control guiding me in the process. Taking dance lessons is hard as it is only done in a group setting and I have to figure out everything on my own. My brain disslike that. What are your tips on dealing with this?

 

[Progster]

I tend to study on my own in my own time, at my own pace and using my own methods - I might attend group language lessons for example, but the real learning and progress is done at home. At school, I learned more from study at home than in class.

 

[Bolletje]

To be honest, I pretty much powered through it. In high school I received remedial tutoring for math, but that didn’t help me out much so I got a private tutor. That helped a little, I’m just not good at math.
In university I skipped the lectures that weren’t mandatory and studied the subject at home, and did my best in group assignments even though they made me feel unhappy. I usually made sure I got the research heavy part of the assignment but usually also ended up putting presentations together and presenting them, because I’m a massive perfectionist.

 

[AHClemist]

Hi harrietjansson! The powering through thing worked for me in school, but once I got to university, my "just memorize everything" approach didn't work anymore. It still took me seven semesters to finally work up the nerve to find some people to study with, so they can reign me in when I start to run after a specific detail, rather than work on the stuff that will be on the exam. Unfortunately, my head still refuses to remember something when I don't have all the tiny details to it.

As for group learning. My biggest isse there is, that I always feel that I'm not good enough because I often cannot follow along fast enough. It feels like a failure on my part to look for someone to help. I'll have to let them know that I didn't understand in class, after all. In smaller groups I can manage this by taking charge of the group, doesn't work for larger ones though. I don't grow into the group, but I can work alongside it. I have also found, that I do better when I try to find information my own way and discuss with the prof before or after class. They really appreciate an interested student.

I actually take dance lessons for social dancing as well. I have for a long time. It has always been an attempt to find some way to socialize and be around people. I am lucky enough to have a very good sense of the music and I am a hard worker, so I have been able to use this to become a rather well respected dancer. But honestly, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my dance partner (we switch those every few minutes) when there is nothing to practice. I usually discuss the move we are learning. That helps me figure it out and it also works as a way to get onto a similar wavelength with the other person. Since I have been dancing for a while now, I can usually default to explaining the move to the other person and generally giving them tips. And since I'm known as a good lead (lady lead here, hi!), I can also make my dance partners happy by showing them that they can do more than they though they could, which again helps build some sort of connection with them.

I'm not sure if this helped. I tried to give a little bit of advice rather than just talking about myself.

 

[paloftoon]

If cyber school is an option for you and/or getting private tutors, consider these options. You would be able to pace yourself or work with people who are willing to go at your pace. If you have the money, time, and energy, you can find a tutor for many things.

Otherwise, just try your best to adjust to groups when you have to and use online resources/supplemental resources to try to back up what you might not know/understand.

 

[onlything]

Never liked group lessons. But I like some group activities - where a team of different professionals work to solve some kind of an issue for example. You can never get to know everything, having knowledgeable people on your side is definitely a perk. So, I don't like group sessions but I like organised teamwork where everyone has their specific place and role.