Need Help with Haircut

[Deanomyite]

She hasn't had her hair cut in over 4 years and she desperately wants it cut. My wife gets very uncomfortable with someone messing around her face. She doesn't do well with small talk and she has really bad self esteem. i think she feels like she is being put on display and everyone will be judging her flaws. Having someone up close to her face is very stressful for her. I've tried to reassure her that i will be there and can talk to the hair stylist and try to distract attention from her but it just doesn't seem to be enough to get her there. Any advice at all would be great because we are stuck on what to try next.

 

[tlc]

I'd ask around to see if people know of any single person hair stylists. As in people who do it on their own with appointments, rather than for a multi employee shop. I used to go to one when I was younger. My sister also has her own shop at her house and does it herself. There should be some around your area.

 

[BraidedPony]

I cut my own hair. There are many YouTube videos on diy hair cuts. It won’t look like a great salon cut but it will look better than a bad one and it’s free.

 

[Major Tom]

I cut my hair myself because I don't like people touching my head or face.

 

[Mia]

You might find someone local, who can come to the home. Ask perhaps at a local salon. Or look for someone on grocery message boards, or a local area shop or ask even at a hospital where there are hairdressers who come in to cut people's hair. I've noticed in the area I live in several 'hairdressers' who cut hair in their homes.

 

[Deanomyite]

thank you all for taking the time to advise me. So far though none of these have been something she is really liking. She did suggest i post a picture of our dog after i've cut it's hair so you all would know why me cutting hers would be a no no.

 

[Progster]

First of all, small talk is not obligatory. She can just say that she would prefer not to talk.
Secondly, she could cut her own hair, or you could do it by following YouTube tutorials.

Cutting hair is one of those necessary evils - I have short hair because I don't like the feeling of hair on my face or obstructing my vision. I go to get it cut when the discomfort of having hair falling on my face becomes greater than my aversion to going to the hairdresser. It's one of those things that I make myself do, even though I'm out of my comfort zone and I don't like it, because it has to be done, there's no other way.

 

[Gracey]

I really dislike a strangers hands all over my head,
But,
I can’t cope with longer hair either.

I cut my own hair for years until my niece qualified. I can tolerate my niece, problem solved.

I used to look at it like I had 3 choices:

Long, untidy, irritating hair.

Cut it myself.

Tolerate all sensory issues for just one hour out of the rest of my life.

If I got the stylist to come out to me I’d steer chitty chat to subjects they liked talking about,
That way they did most of the work.
(Children, holiday locations, whether working for themselves was preferable to a busy salon and so on)


One hour of anxiety and discomfort every six weeks, in my mind,
Is easier than trying to tolerate longer hair each and every day.

 

[Progster]

I'd cut my own hair, but I can't manage to do it, even with tutorials. I could do the front ok, but not the back.

 

[Gracey]

I'd cut my own hair, but I can't manage to do it, even with tutorials. I could do the front ok, but not the back.

X2 mirrors worked for me, three even better.

One mirror in front, one behind you.
By turning head, can see side/back too.

Have to remember you’re working in a mirror (opposites)

 

[Pats]

I cut my own hair, but I have to be in the right mood for it to turn out good. But I don't want to have to talk to the hair stylist - which they ALWAYS talk to you. I also cut my dog's hair - sometimes it looks great and other times - well, your wife probably wouldn't let me touch her hair either. lol
I used to let my mom or my sister trim my hair. Never thought about it, but I guess my entire adulthood, there have only been 3 people that has trimmed or cut my hair and I'm the only one who has more than trimmed it. And I used to cut my son's hair and people would ask me where I took him because they really liked it. My youngest son only let me cut it because, for some reason, everyone else always managed to cut his ear - professionals did, so my sister said she'd cut it and she cut his ear, too. (Maybe that's why he wears it long today and just keeps it in a pony tail. lol)

 

[tlc]

X2 mirrors worked for me, three even better.

One mirror in front, one behind you.
By turning head, can see side/back too.

Have to remember you’re working in a mirror (opposites)

I did mine before like that, 16 years ago. Desperate to cut my hair before going to a court appearance for my daughter and nobody was open. So I removed a mirrored door from the medicine cabinet in the other bathroom and hung it on the bathroom door with a bungee cord. Between that, and positioning of the 3 mirrored doors on the medicine cabinet, I could see behind me. Surprisingly I did a good job, I think, I got compliments on it the next few days at work when I told them I did it myself.

Nowadays I don't like looking at the back of my head because of the shock factor of the growing bald spot.

 

[Suzanne]

I am the same as your wife and happily for me, I do not have to visit hair dressers, because of having long hair and I cut my own fringe. But if I had to go, I would have someone go whom I feel comfortable with and they would be able to distract me from the torture.

 

[Pats]

I did mine before like that, 16 years ago. Desperate to cut my hair before going to a court appearance for my daughter and nobody was open. So I removed a mirrored door from the medicine cabinet in the other bathroom and hung it on the bathroom door with a bungee cord. Between that, and positioning of the 3 mirrored doors on the medicine cabinet, I could see behind me. Surprisingly I did a good job, I think, I got compliments on it the next few days at work when I told them I did it myself.

Nowadays I don't like looking at the back of my head because of the shock factor of the growing bald spot.

You know, I never tried using multiple mirrors. The first time I cut my hair from long to short my sister did notice one little uneven spot.

 

[Peter Morrison]

There is a great chance that you can find a hairdresser who will make a special house-call. Many hairdressers can be mobile with the right equipment if they know what needs to be done. Plus, being around familiar people and surroundings while things are happening should provide some comfort for your wife. Alternative could be to make a special appointment after all other customers are gone and the salon is closed. Many salons have huge picture windows, so total privacy is not guaranteed. The salon is more convenient for the hairdresser, but a simple cut can be handled anywhere. I suspect your wife would benefit from meeting her selected hairdresser and agreeing to the arrangements. It's all about her, so she needs to be accommodated.

 

[Deanomyite]

Thank you Peter that is great advice. She might not be as scared if she can get to meet the person beforehand. She likes having a picture of things in her mind so the don't seem as scary.

 

[meepmeep]

I tried cutting my own hair for a while. If you have curly hair, it actually looks pretty good even if you screw up the haircut a little. I used multiple mirrors and got special hair clips online that are supposed to make it easier to cut one’s own hair. I can’t remember what they’re called or where I got them, but I’m sure you can find them with some Googling.