My social life is falling apart

[Sherlock77]

I am a very scheduled person... For a couple of years I've been going semi-regularly to a weekly music jam/open mic, in the last few months it was starting to gel into a family feel with the regular crowd... I'm not a musician, and sometimes take photos, but was feeling real connection, and I know others did as well...

Earlier this week? The host cafe closed for business, talking to my friend who hosts it, she doesn't plan to look for a new venue... I almost feel lost right now, stunned...

In the meantime, on the classic car side of things, the local scene for the weekly car cruises is rather lacking, small numbers, insufficient venues... The one mid-week cruise night that had as many as 500 cars three years has now sunk to a new low, 15 cars this week, no more than 40 cars in recent weeks... That is another place I go to to find people and something I enjoy... There is one extra large show in a couple of months to close off driving season, but it's not the same as an active weekly scene...

Or maybe being a typical Aspie I'm relying too much on inanimate "things", I also know that it typically takes me longer to meet and connect with new people, I almost feel like I'm starting out from scratch, the way my whole year seems to have gone but that's another story

 

[Katleya]

Oh no. I would be devastated to find that a social place I've come to love is closing down.
But let's look at it that way: if you were able to find one, you will be able to find another one. It does suck that you need to start a new quest, but I wish you luck

 

[thermf5]

my dude it looks like u live out west and have a car maby u have to travel more to get ur needs taking care of but trust me it will be worth it u come first remember that and some times spending ur money on fun is worth it but that all u i can just give advice and i dont have all the facts so i am guessing

 

[Alaska]

I am a very scheduled person... For a couple of years I've been going semi-regularly to a weekly music jam/open mic, in the last few months it was starting to gel into a family feel with the regular crowd... I'm not a musician, and sometimes take photos, but was feeling real connection, and I know others did as well...

Earlier this week? The host cafe closed for business, talking to my friend who hosts it, she doesn't plan to look for a new venue... I almost feel lost right now, stunned...

In the meantime, on the classic car side of things, the local scene for the weekly car cruises is rather lacking, small numbers, insufficient venues... The one mid-week cruise night that had as many as 500 cars three years has now sunk to a new low, 15 cars this week, no more than 40 cars in recent weeks... That is another place I go to to find people and something I enjoy... There is one extra large show in a couple of months to close off driving season, but it's not the same as an active weekly scene...

Or maybe being a typical Aspie I'm relying too much on inanimate "things", I also know that it typically takes me longer to meet and connect with new people, I almost feel like I'm starting out from scratch, the way my whole year seems to have gone but that's another story

I know how you feel. I hope they do something to replace your lost social events. Maybe you can find a new music jam place. Some of the musicians will probably be worse off without it than you are. Some of them might help you or even take over finding another place for a regular jam session, if they think about the possibility.

 

[Chance]

I am a very scheduled person... For a couple of years I've been going semi-regularly to a weekly music jam/open mic, in the last few months it was starting to gel into a family feel with the regular crowd... I'm not a musician, and sometimes take photos, but was feeling real connection, and I know others did as well...

Earlier this week? The host cafe closed for business, talking to my friend who hosts it, she doesn't plan to look for a new venue... I almost feel lost right now, stunned...

In the meantime, on the classic car side of things, the local scene for the weekly car cruises is rather lacking, small numbers, insufficient venues... The one mid-week cruise night that had as many as 500 cars three years has now sunk to a new low, 15 cars this week, no more than 40 cars in recent weeks... That is another place I go to to find people and something I enjoy... There is one extra large show in a couple of months to close off driving season, but it's not the same as an active weekly scene...

Or maybe being a typical Aspie I'm relying too much on inanimate "things", I also know that it typically takes me longer to meet and connect with new people, I almost feel like I'm starting out from scratch, the way my whole year seems to have gone but that's another story

Hey Sherlock,

I dont think your off base at all. For some of us to even take that step, to become a part of something like that is a huge challenge in itself. Then for it to fall apart isn't cool. Its hard to process.

In a rural town south of me about 30 miles... They had a local chain restaurant that was always busy. Every time I had to go to the hardware store, I would go by there and get me 3 tacos and a glass of tea, and go out to the lake and sit on the dock and eat lunch... I did this hundreds of times. That restaurant burnt down.

I thought no big deal, they will build a nice new one... Nope! So now its a vacant lot, and I take my lunch to the lake, but its just not the same. I cant believe they didn't rebuild the only decent place within 50 miles or more, (I'm in a very rural area).

Different situations, but I know how you feel. I miss the nice ladies that already knew what I was going to get, the smell, the same old people sitting and enjoying life.

It will be okay dude... Maybe y'all can all get together in some other place, but its hard to start over. : )

 

[Gracey]

Changes to a familiar routine or something we rely on are always pants.
Change and death are pretty much the only certainties in life. Knowing and saying this stuff doesn't make it easier to accept though.
I hope you can get your head around it soon enough and find other places and activities to enjoy.

 

[Momo]

That sounds tough, if my boxing gym closed down I think I'd have a wee fit! Then again, I suppose change is inevitable, even though it sucks. Perhaps you can find a new place to lurk? I myself have to find new lurking grounds fairly regularly. Apparently, people think lurking is creepy—bah! What do they know anyway!

 

[Streetwise]

That sounds tough, if my boxing gym closed down I think I'd have a wee fit! Then again, I suppose change is inevitable, even though it sucks. Perhaps you can find a new place to lurk? I myself have to find new lurking grounds fairly regularly. Apparently, people think lurking is creepy—bah! What do they know anyway!

i think lurking is creepy if its a man at night on the street

 

[Momo]

i think lurking is creepy if its a man at night on the street

Oh no! My brother was teasing me for a beard the other day! I didn't believe him! Do people think I'm a creepy dude?! I'm not even a man!

 

[Sherlock77]

The message this morning, names omited... All is not lost, I think... And I do know one reason why the cafe is closing is due to health issues with one of the owners (not stated in the message sent out)...

"While the cafe's official public message is still unknown to me, I can tell you that unfortunately, we won't be having any more jams at --- as it will be closing permanently after GlobalFest. This makes me quite sad, but hopeful knowing there are other ways to keep playing together!

For several weeks I've been hosting a Wednesday acoustic open mic at --- from 8 to 10:30 pm, and I would love to see you there. Some of you have already kindly come out to play and helped light up the night.

Meanwhile, a new biweekly Thursday open mic series is being launched at Lolita's as part of the new fall --- programming. It is being organized by one our regulars and long-time arts booster in Calgary, ---, along with jazz singer --- and musician/blogger ---. Please join the --- Group to find out more.

I'm sad about the end of our jam, but excited about the beginning of the new Listening Room jam! --- and I have been approached about involvement and are tickled to be part of the house band on 3rd Thursdays.

Thank you SO much to everyone who came to our jams and made them so special!

Over so many inspiring music nights, lots of friendships were forged, and I know at least a few bands even started using members of our group (--- and I play with ---, and ---; --- also sings with ---, and --- formed a trio that includes me on bass, now called Cloud Chaser). Also thinking of Willy from the Flames and Jack ("Louis Armstrong") who have begun performing gigs on piano and vocals! Let's all friend up on Facebook so we can keep in touch.

HUGE thanks to --- and --- for hosting almost two years of our jam and becoming a vibrant hub for the arts community. We will miss you and we won't soon forget you.

It has meant so much to me that you embraced me as a host and have so kind.

❤ Love and gratitude! Your support has helped me grow as a musician and a person, and I will always be grateful.

Stick around awhile on this group and I'll let you know about future jams and gigs involving --- musicians as known. Feel free to share yours too!

All the best"

 

[Sherlock77]

i think lurking is creepy if its a man at night on the street

I do that all the time, with my camera... Mind you night time here in Alberta comes rather early in the winter...

 

[Gracey]

The message this morning, names omited... All is not lost, I think... And I do know one reason why the cafe is closing is due to health issues with one of the owners (not stated in the message sent out)...

"While the cafe's official public message is still unknown to me, I can tell you that unfortunately, we won't be having any more jams at --- as it will be closing permanently after GlobalFest. This makes me quite sad, but hopeful knowing there are other ways to keep playing together!

For several weeks I've been hosting a Wednesday acoustic open mic at --- from 8 to 10:30 pm, and I would love to see you there. Some of you have already kindly come out to play and helped light up the night.

Meanwhile, a new biweekly Thursday open mic series is being launched at Lolita's as part of the new fall --- programming. It is being organized by one our regulars and long-time arts booster in Calgary, ---, along with jazz singer --- and musician/blogger ---. Please join the --- Group to find out more.

I'm sad about the end of our jam, but excited about the beginning of the new Listening Room jam! --- and I have been approached about involvement and are tickled to be part of the house band on 3rd Thursdays.

Thank you SO much to everyone who came to our jams and made them so special!

Over so many inspiring music nights, lots of friendships were forged, and I know at least a few bands even started using members of our group (--- and I play with ---, and ---; --- also sings with ---, and --- formed a trio that includes me on bass, now called Cloud Chaser). Also thinking of Willy from the Flames and Jack ("Louis Armstrong") who have begun performing gigs on piano and vocals! Let's all friend up on Facebook so we can keep in touch.

HUGE thanks to --- and --- for hosting almost two years of our jam and becoming a vibrant hub for the arts community. We will miss you and we won't soon forget you.

It has meant so much to me that you embraced me as a host and have so kind.

❤ Love and gratitude! Your support has helped me grow as a musician and a person, and I will always be grateful.

Stick around awhile on this group and I'll let you know about future jams and gigs involving --- musicians as known. Feel free to share yours too!

All the best"

What a wonderful message

 

[Sherlock77]

I should know by now that especially in the arts scene, change is always happening, there have been so many people come and go, great annual events, local scenes and venues, and such, simply get cancelled for various reasons of all sorts... I can still keep the memories, hopefully without being too disappointed at the same time... I still say (many years later now) that my January's will never be the same to start the new year without the Midway, nothing to do with a carnival, sort of... I'll shut up now plus one Midway photo from seven years ago, great memories... Maybe this might be you?

 

[tree]

Changes to a familiar routine or something we rely on are always pants.

This was perplexingly meaningless to me this morning.
I looked up the word "pants" as an adjective a minute ago.

1. (Britain, slang) Of inferior quality, rubbish.
   Your mobile is pants — why don’t you get one like mine?

pants - Wiktionary
Ohhhh, so that's what it means.
I didn't know the word "pants" could be used as an adjective.
Now, I know.